Laurie Notaro's eBay-Inspired Holiday Gift Guide for Your "Unusual" Friends and Family


nakedrandytravis.JPG
ebay.com
Naked Randy Travis Doll

I think this is the best holiday gift ever. All you need to complete it is a piece of shit Trans Am, a change of scrubs for the pokey, and some blue eye shadow for Naked Randy's black eye. Once on COPS, I saw a naked guy pulled over in his truck, but he wasn't exactly naked, being that he was wearing ladies' pantyhose and some high heels. So I guess it could have been worse. I wish they would make that doll. They could be friends.

alienfacewood.JPG
ebay.com
Alien Face in Fence

So someone in Ventura built a fence four years ago, and over time, realized that "an obvious alien face" was poking his mug through the grain wood. And now, for another $9,999, it can be yours! I don't know what it is with the $9,999 price tag, but this one comes with a disclaimer, too: "*** DISCLAIMER *** WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY.... PARANORMAL ACTIVITIES, ALIEN ABDUCTIONS, ALIEN HAUNTING, VISITATIONS BY GRAYS, OR ANY UFO SIGHTINGS OR LANDINGS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT COME WITH THIS ITEM." I'll give him this; it does look like an alien head, but if the seller can't guarantee that a "landing that may or may not come with this item," I'm not sure where the value lies. If it had the face of Hilter poking through, at least then, I could burn it.

laurienotaroprofile.jpg
Laurie Notaro
Stay tuned for new adventures with Laurie Notaro, and catch up on a few classics in any of her books including The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club: True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life,It Looked Different on the Model, I Love Everybody (and Other Atrocious Lies), There's a Slight Chance I Might Be Going to Hell, and An Idiot Girl's Christmas at Changing Hands, on Amazon, or through her website.

Follow Jackalope Ranch on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest.

My Voice Nation Help
0 comments
Sort: Newest | Oldest

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

Phoenix Event Tickets
Loading...