Laurie Notaro's Greatest Hits of 2012 on Jackalope Ranch
Six Words Laurie Notaro Demands People Stop Using Right Now
Now I know if I am patient and wait, they will eventually lose their shine and fade back into obscurity like "gnarly," "rad," and "grody," but what if they don't? What if they are granted permanent residence as in "I was like, ..." or "totally"? See this as a warning call that if we don't do something about these phrases now, they may never leave, like genital herpes and Ryan Seacrest. That's how serious this is!!! Read more ...
Why Laurie Notaro's Mother is Threatening Not to Speak with Her
"That's it!" my mother snapped from the other end of the phone. "I'm not talking to you anymore. From now on, we are not talking!"
This was hardly the response I expected after giving my mother a compliment. I was stunned. No, I take that back. I was not stunned, but I guess I didn't expect that strong of a reaction.
"Did you hear what I said?" I reiterated, positive--no, I take that back--hopeful that she had heard me wrong when I told my mother that when I got notes back on a project I was writing, the first thing on the agenda was "More of your mother. Love her."
"I heard what you said, and that's why I'm not talking to you anymore," she explained, her voice rising. "If I don't talk to you anymore, then you can't write about me anymore."
"That is ridiculous," I stammered. "Who doesn't want to be everyone's favorite part?"
"ME!" she shot back. "Why don't you write about your in-laws? They're funny."
"Are you kidding?" I asked. "That lineage is off limits! Most of them have guns and I have to eat Christmas dinner with those people!"
"In that case, I'm buying the next gun I see on QVC," my mother informed me. "Even if it's not a Joan Rivers brand." Read more ...