Shine: Your Pocket Guide to Scottsdale Including Interviews with Creatives by Laurie Notaro

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Deep into that night, I dream that I am in my bathroom, struggling to get the beautiful shirt over my head which has grown a pillow top, like a mattress, shoving my arms down into the sleeves, when they abruptly stop at the cuffs. I push and push, and even though I have a patch over one eye, I can see that my wrists are too fat to slide through. It is dark outside, and I know it is late, but I have never done something so important in my life. I realize my hand is mechanical, and I rip it off, knocking it to the ground with what should have been a clatter, although I hear nothing except the sound of my own labored Tony Soprano breaths.

I look into the mirror at my patched eye, mushroom head and missing hand, and I do not look pretty in the shirt. At all.

The next morning, I am clomping down the stairs, as pieces of the dream flutter in and out of my memory. A wave of blue, muffled sounds, the puffy head, a fake hand falling to the tile below. I laugh at what stupid dreams I have as I turn on the light, notice my wrist brace lying on the tile floor and catch a glimpse in the mirror of my puffy velvet sleep mask so askew it only covers one eye, and as I take out my earplugs, I see a beautiful pile of blue silk crumpled on top of the toilet tank.

Laurie Notaro is the author of several books, including the New York Times' best-seller The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club and It Looked Different on the Model. Catch up with her at

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