LOVE IS ART: Creating a Painting is Now as Easy as Having Sex on a Canvas (Paint Included)
What LOVE IS ART founder Jeremy Brown calls "abstract expressionism" is your chance to get it on all over a canvas in a variety of colors, patterns, and positions, and then clearly display your skills for all to see.
The LOVE IS ART kit comes with "everything a couple needs to safely make a tangible piece of abstract expressionistic art while being intimate with each other," writes Brown. "What is left is a one-of-a-kind abstract painting that represents that special moment, that can then be stretched, framed and hung on the wall -- a reminder of the love that was shared."
Brown cites Yves Klein and performance pieces by Andy Warhol as inspiration for the mattress mambo paintings he'd been doing for more than a decade. (No word on where all of his "pieces" hang.)
Kits range in price from $60 to $110, depending on the paint color -- black, white, gold, copper, pink, red, blue, green, orange, and custom colors -- and include a painter's tarp to protect surfaces (including the gaudy couch you're likely to hang it over), a cotton canvas, organic, washable paint, two pairs of slippers (for the walk to the shower), and a mesh body scrubber.
Not included: a frame or stretching bars -- you're going to have to take that sucker to a frame shop and explain yourself or stretch the canvas yourself, any amount of hard liquor, or a good back story for when your mother-in-law says she wants one just like it.