The Cult of the Yellow Sign on Their Doomsday Plans, Potluck Orgies, and Birthday Party for Horror Author H.P. Lovecraft


cult of the yellow sign home and garden expo.jpg
JRC
Cultist #138 (left) and Cultist #808 at the Phoenix Home and Garden Expo earlier this month at University of Phoenix Stadium.

What's your opinion about the Mayan doomsday prophecy?
138:
I respect the Mayans. They're like the poor man's Aztecs. But I have respect for them because they did worships gods and sacrifice people, blood and hearts, and things like that. I like to think of them as like the boy scouts to the organization and we're like the eagle scouts.

808: Actually, speaking of which, we actually have our own boy scouts program, the raven scouts. So we're actually very open to bringing children into the cult, not just for sacrificial purposes, for raising the next generation of cultists, in case the world doesn't end.

You guys want kids into the cult?
138: Believe it or not, there's not a lot of reproductive activity going on in our potluck orgies.

Um...what?
808: Potluck orgies. We just figured, what do people like? They like orgies [and] They like potlucks, why not combine them? We have them about once a month, usually on the 13th. They can be very messy, though.

When was the Phoenix chapter of the cult formed?
138: We've been around since, I think, 1982. But we didn't become public until like two years ago.

808: You see, the problem with a secret society is that it can be too secret and our numbers are diminishing. The freemasons have this problem, the Mary Kay ladies have this problem, and we've had this problem. You can't simply plot away in obscurity, so we've had to get out in public and shake hands.


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