Laurie Notaro's Five Reasons Why Haboobs Are Awesome
Laurie Notaro is an author, crafter, and expert at finding a good cocktail. She grew up in Phoenix, but is currently based in Eugene, Oregon. Each week, she'll be joining us to share a crafting adventure, draw a flowchart, or remember a few of her favorite things about Phoenix. Today, she takes a look at the recent Phoenix weather madness, and why, in her words, Haboobs are awesome.
5. In less than 30 seconds, a respectable Haboob can fill the artificial cleavage of every Scottsdale housewife racing from Lucy to the safety of her Land Rover in the parking lot at Kierland.
Bejeweled flip flops aren't natural disaster-friendly footwear, and some may actually topple over due to their tank tops becoming filled like the sands in an hour glass. It may take days to months to find survivors, or sadly, (kinda not, I'm just being nice) only squishy silicone pillows behind the Cheesecake Factory in huddled piles surrounded by plastic diamonds and patches of glitter.
4. Free dermabrasion, or, for the very brave with scuba tanks, complete unwanted body hair removal.
A billowing wall of sand can not only dull the shine off of a brand new penny, but it can work away acne scars and skin divots like a Magic Eraser on a bathtub in a motel that rents by the hour.
For those with contained breathing apparatus kept handy in case of arson, strap it on, head outside and let the smoothing begin. Sand can find its way into previously unknown crevices, so make sure you complete the process with a thorough cleansing and dusting of all hard-to-reach areas, because clearly, someone else will be seeing them very soon.