So You're a College Graduate ... (a Flowchart)
|illustration by Claire Lawton|
|click on the image (or right here) for a full-size version.|
Don't listen to your valedictorian or the old guy they dragged out of retirement to speak at commencement.
Do take advantage of all of the cash that will soon come your way via extended family and your parents' friends.
Don't wear heels to walk across the stage. Just don't.
Do, however, wear something nice under your gown. It's 100 degrees outside, and that wearable solar oven should come off as soon as your grandmother can figure out how to take a picture of you and your mom on your smartphone. #instagram
Don't worry about finding a job for at least a week, after which you can either hit the pavement or continue riding the waves through grad school.
Do remember that this is your last summer vacation. Ever.
And don't hold on to your cap and gown -- that shit will make a totally awesome toga or fuel a sick bonfire at your post-graduation (or end of the world) bash.
Congratulations and welcome to the real world.
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