Project Accessory Episode 6: Kenneth Cole, More Handbags, and "Evolving Black"
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And then were six. I will admit, the number of contestants on Lifetime's Project Accessory looks significantly smaller as they are seated next to the runway as host Molly Sims explains the challenge for this week.
And surprise! It's like every other challenge from six weeks prior, make a (fill in the blank) and then an accessory of choice. And it's always a handbag and a necklace. A handbag and earrings. A handbag and a cuff.
It's just like going to Dillard's every day.
Sadly, I think the producers counted on artistic temperaments to flare in the workroom and for egos to clash to keep the pace of the show going. And unfortunately, if a welding spark landed on whatever odd petroleum product Brian is working on this week, the designers would barely look up, leave the workroom in single file, and someone would actually do a headcount once they had reached safety.
I'm not saying they'd go back for Brian, but still. They'd probably tell somebody.
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Molly Sims informs the half-dozen survivors that they're headed to Social Activist Kenneth Cole's (who will be referred to here on out as SAKC) studio for the rest of the details. It turns out that the winner of this challenge will have their wares for sale in all of the Kenneth Cole stores, which is quite a coup.
The deal is this: he has picked out outfits for everyone to accessorize and the one who can capture the Kenenth Cole spirit in addition while simultaneously tap into their own individiual creativity wins.
"Black is the foundation of the brand," SAKC explains. "But it's also hard--how to evolve that, make it fresh....."
Does this man know no bounds? Is he limited by nothing? He stands here, before us, speaking of the impossible.
We can send a man to the moon, SAKC. We can inject women's faces with botulism so that they can't move them and think they look younger when they just look freeze-dried. We can give Anderson Cooper his own talk show. Yes, we as a species are capable of a great many things, but evolve black, my dear man? You speak of insanity. INSANITY! Dare I utter the phrase, "None more black?"
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| Nina's whole look |
Skip to the workroom, where the designers have returned and are sizing up the ensembles SAKC has left for them. And, not for nothing, but I'm seeing a lot of monkey fur going on here. It's included in three outfits, one of which is a whole coat.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but before you get to call yourself a Social Activist, isn't it in the rules that you have to see Gorillas in the Mist in order to get the badge? I'm not saying it's real monkey fur, but seriously, I'd have to think twice before I threw Dian Fossey's best friend on my back even in facsimile.
Brian is working with another toxic substance, pouring it into a mold and then grinding the horn he's made down so that resin dust is shooting everywhere. It's so thick that it's visible on camera, burning people's eyes drifting like a cloud of dandruff onto everything in the workroom.
The designers scramble to cover their SAKC outfits with dry cleaning bags. When the other contestants complain, he doesn't care, mumbling almost inaudibly,
"I don't care. I'm not here to make friends."
And that is why they won't go back for you when the firestorm breaks out, Brian. Just remember two important words, buddy. Drop and roll. Drop and roll.
Commercial break.
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