Five Douchey Ways to Drink in the Dorms

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Bud Light and Mike's Hard Lemonade, you're a badass.
School's nearly back in session, and that means freshman frat bros around the country will soon embark on a semester-long Natty Light bender that'll inevitably result in one of two things: academic probation, or a series of outrageous drunken dorm debauchery fit for YouTube.


From resident hall slip-n-slide party planners, to underage jackasses that can't hold their liquor, the Internet is littered with obnoxious videos of douchey college kids getting faded, twisted, and fucked up in the dorms.

As a service to our collegiate readership, we've taken said videos to show you exactly how NOT to act when you move into your new prison cell suite. Check out our list of Five Douchey Ways to Drink in the Dorms.

5) Slip-n-Slide Down the Hall

Slip-n-Slide's are great, but they have no business indoors. Sure the novelty of sliding down the hallway is cute, but it's unoriginal. It's also probable cause for dorm police to raid your room and confiscate that warm 24-pack of cheap booze under your bed.

4) Test Dorm Furniture Strength

If you thought IKEA furniture was cheap, wait till you move into your dorm. Poor Emily just wanted to get drunk and take a funny Facebook picture with her new crush. Instead she ended up making a fool of herself when the bunk bed safety bar came loose, and she fell five feet on her neck.

3) Spray a Fire Extinguisher

Fire extinguishers. They're great for putting out small fires, and that's about it. The foam they release smells terrible, and tastes even worse. You can clearly hear the cameraman's laughter turn into an emphysemic-like cough, and then panic when the fire alarm goes off. Looks like someone's getting evicted.

2) Cock block & Puke

Ah, an ASU video!

Okay, we get it. You're cock blocking because (a) your drunk, and (b) you didn't pull the trigger early enough and got stuck in the friend zone. Don't ruin it for your buddy by grabbing a camera and yelling, "They're gonna have sex! They're gonna have sex!" like you're in middle school. Also, let your homeboy puke in peace; listen to your friend's advice.

1) Piss in the Hallway

This is a dick move in every sense of the phrase. The fact this University of Kentucky student goes and urinates outside some girl's room is incredibly fucked up. Sure, his buddies got a great laugh, but ultimately the girl watching him pee got the last laugh ... after she saw tiny, she spread the word about pissboy's anatomy.

Have fun in college, y'all.

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5 comments
Nimh27
Nimh27

Please.  I did all these the first three days of college, 15 years ago.

Then things got really fun. 

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