The MLB All-Star Game
lands in Phoenix next week with a kickass line-up, chosen by voters around the country.
In celebration, we've created our own fantasy team. We sifted through stats, filtered through the National and American League rosters, and scanned YouTube clips to pick out the best of the best -- with our own definition of "rounding the bases."
1. Joe Mauer, catcher
If we're going off of stats alone, Mauer might've made it to the list based on his playing. (He's the only catcher in MLB history to win three batting titles.) But this is the ass list, so we should definitely give credit to what God gave him.
See who else made the team after the jump.
2. Paul Konerko, first baseman
The shot from this Chicago White Sox player's 2003 baseball card says it all.
3. Chase Utley, second baseman
It doesn't matter to us that the man bats left-handed and throws-right handed. We love to look at his Phillies backside regardless.
Along with a few others from this list, Utley was also selected by Sports Illustrated
to be on their All-Decade Team
, so we know he's more than just a pretty face ...
The second Phillies player to make the list means they must be doing something right in Philadelphia.
Polanco will be joining the All-Star NL team this year for the second time in his career. Be on the lookout, Phoenix.
|Alex Rodriguez apparently approves.|
5. Derek Jeter, short stop
At least one Yankee had to make it onto our list.
Other than having once dated Mariah Carey, there's really nothing else we can hold against Mr. Jeter.
It's beyond us why a team in Toronto is in the AL, but that's not what this post is about. It's all about enjoying what the individual players have to offer, and Bautista has something to offer from the back and the front.
7. Ryan Braun, outfielder
Fairly new to left field, loyal Brewers fans followed Braun (and his butt) to the outfield. It's not quite the same view back when he was a third baseman -- just bring the binoculars to the next game.
OK, so his stats aren't that good. Luckily, this is a fantasy team based on butts and Murphy makes good fantasy material.
Apparently Lind and our outfielder Jose Bautista are quite the power duo when it comes to knocking the ball around. No wonder both of these Toronto boys are featured on our list.
If we left out anyone, please leave suggestions below.