Have Air Sex

Much like air guitar, where people pretend to play a six-string to music, air sex requires simulation -- and maybe a certain degree of stimulation, too, since participants act like they're getting it on with an imaginary person(s). Participants can wear costumes, tell visual stories, and grind against props to songs of their choice.

If that sounds like the kind of thing you'd enjoy watching, feel free to check it out (we're going too). If that sounds like the kind of thing you'd like to do, you can enter the Air Sex World Championships at Madcap Theaters on site, the night of the event.

But first, there are three steps to becoming a better air sex competitor that you should know. We recently got the lowdown from comedian Chris Trew, who started as an air sex competitor at The Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas a couple years ago, and is currently hosting (and judging) the Air Sex World Championships tour.

If you're really trying to be sexy in your performance, have some sexy music, with a good beat. But if you're shooting for comedy or irony, anything goes. It's never a bad idea to pick a song people will be familiar with, either.

2. Have a character.

Whether it's a costume, or set of gestures and facial expressions, make your persona stand out. Having a story is good, too. "The best air sex show is almost like a narrative. You'll see them meet the [imaginary] person, court them, have sex with them, and maybe even leave them," Chris Trew says. For example, Trew once pretended to be a Holiday Inn janitor named Grady, who let himself into a newlywed suite and incited a threesome -- all to the tune of Jessica Simpson's "With You" (see step one).

3. Have commitment.
Not to your imaginary air sex partner, but to the imaginary sex itself. "If you're having sex with a spare tire, I want to see you grabbing the tread and pounding away," Trew says. "People have used all kinds of props, from drill saws to shake weights to two dummy legs. Even if it's just air, make it believable."

www.terp2it.com

Really, would you doubt her level of commitment?

​There aren't many rules, but Trew has one more bit of advice for potential air sex competitors: don't get naked (just pretend to take off your clothes), and don't have a real orgasm. "All climaxes must be simulated, not real," Trew says."But you could have a secret orgasm in your pants."

The Air Sex World Championships are scheduled for 11 p.m. Saturday, October 23, at Madcap Theaters, 730 S. Mill Avenue in Tempe. Tickets cost $10. Call 480-634-5192 or visit www.madcaptheaters.com for more information. Visit the Air Sex World Championships YouTube page for some videos.