Zombie Research Society, Phoenix Chapter Meeting

Categories: Fun
undead.jpg
www.flickr.com/photos/dhollister
Show him your laminated ZRS membership card.
Members of the local chapter of the Zombie Research Society led a public meeting to discuss the impending zombie apocalypse this past Saturday, September 18.

The ZRS is an  international non-profit organization dedicated to "raising the level of zombie scholarship in the Arts and Sciences." To become a member, pay the $25 one-time fee to get a ZRS tee shirt and laminated membership card  -- your first necessary supplies in defense against zombies (and getting laid).

The Arizona chapter, led by zombie expert Zoe Mora, concentrates on desert survival tactics. The meeting provided hand-outs on water sterilization and pasteurization, bug-out bags (72-hour survival packs), and other tips for surviving in a post-apocalyptic land infested by zombies. The presentation was delivered with total sincerity.

Mora noted that the greatest danger during a zombie apocalypse will be marauders -- fellow human survivors searching for supplies. All marauders should be killed. Stemming from a lifetime of limited social contact, this group's lack of human empathy is one of their most valuable weapons.

Audience attendance was surprisingly high on Saturday as 20 more people than expected showed up to listen to ZRS leaders cover the basics of improvised weapons (IWs), fortifications and traps in an urban setting.

The group of 22 concerned citizens listened intently as they learned to use wood dowels, masking tape and dental floss to create dangerous snares and traps. A passionate discussion followed as attendees debated the following important questions:

What are the legal ramifications of killing a zombie?

Would a bomb kill a zombie?

Can zombies have babies?

Does a zombie have a heartbeat?

The room filled with heated opinions as this writer avoided eye contact.

undead2.jpg
www.flickr.com/photos/pagedooley
Zombie babies not making zombie babies.
According to the experts,  there are no legal ramifications of killing a zombie due to the inevitable break-down of governmental and judicial systems; a bomb would only kill a zombie if it destroyed the zombie's brain; zombies cannot have babies; and they may or may not have a heartbeat -- this depends whether the zombie in question is the "undead" type of zombie or the kind of zombie that caught a disease.

As the meeting moved on to discuss zombie updates in pop culture, this writer learned that, in addition to their obsession with living human brain tissue, zombies love proms.

To learn more about ZRS, visit www.zombieresearch.org or attend October's meeting at Bookmans Entertainment Exchange. Keep tabs on the store's calendar
for the date announcement.

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12 comments
Guest3456
Guest3456

20 more people than expected showed up...

...22 concerned citizens listened intently

Hahahahaha

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Zoe Mora
Zoe Mora

I don't believe I ever stated that marauders should be killed. I referenced the fact that in the event of any kind of catastrophic event (in previous meetings I cited natural disasters such as the Haitian earthquake or katrina) that the skills presented could save lives. In the case of traps, I stated that a zombie (which I don't believe is a reanimated corpse and define it as any human that has lost it's humanity via disease or toxin) traps are ineffective, but the skills in learning them are valuable for defending your home against marauders or gathering food. Knowing how to escape out of a dangerous situation, create clean water, and have an emergency bag are all valuable skills. I am glad my demo traps amused you. I wish you would have come up and introduced yourself, we could have had a great conversation. You are right in the fact that I present the survival skills with an utmost sincerity, I truly believe that if someone learns a skill that I have provided to them and it saves even 1 life then it justifies me giving up my time on Saturdays to teach them. I use zombies as a "hook" for the valuable skills, tell people you are going to teach a class on urban survival and no one shows up. Tell them you are going to teach them how to live in a zombie outbreak and you pack the room.

Celestial Annihilation
Celestial Annihilation

I would have to agree that this article seems a bit mean. I figured you would just be reporting on what happens at these meetings, not calling the people that attend them idiots (I know you didn't actually say that, but it was certainly inferred). So they are taking something made up and believing in it so much that they make it serious business and prepare for the apocalypse? That doesn't remind me of ANYTHING else in the world, so let's call them crazy!

Kelly Parks
Kelly Parks

Zombies are awesome but I never thought the whole virus angle was workable. That's why I made the web series, "Universal Dead" (starring Doug Jones, DB Sweeney and Gary Graham). It made io9.com's list of "buzz winners" for Comic Con 2010. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

Lovetro320
Lovetro320

I hail from the zombie capital of the world, Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, and it is refreshing to see that others are as concerned about the earths impending doom from an outbreak of zombies.

Openseason
Openseason

Wow.

It must be exhausting having to constantly make fun of other people in an effort to bolster your own self-esteem. And before you get defensive and dismiss this comment, take a moment to actually think about this.....because I did. I took a few minutes to read some of your recent posts and I see a common theme: criticizing and making fun of other people in a way that is not funny or endearing and is, in fact, pretty cruel.

I don't buy one commentator's notion that you adopt this approach to generate readership. The cattiness is a little too sharp, a little too real. It takes emotional intelligence to recognize that not everyone is going to be like you or like the things you like. And when your first thought is to make fun of those people, perhaps you should turn the lens inward to consider why that is? And even as I write this, I am aware that my reaction to your writing should be compassion because really what your meanness shows is a hurt and insecure person who lashes out as a means to cope. So, what I really should do is offer you a hug, tell you that you're important as a human being, and that it's okay to feel unsure of yourself.....but it's really not okay to take it out on others.

fratguy
fratguy

You're an idiot Openseason. Its a room full of idiots talking about zombies. They are begging us to make fun of them.

Guest1234
Guest1234

Thats the great thing about freedom of speech and while you are entitled to your opinion as well, dont come off as if she has broken some law. This is the internet, if you do not like something, move on.

Gman
Gman

To Openseason,

I'm concerned for your feelings, your comment seemed to be more distasteful than the actual work in question. I found this piece rather interesting and intriguing, I've shared it with others and if anything it has drawn forth interest from my friends and I to possibly participate and attend future ZRS meetings. Maybe you're the one that needs the hug?

G

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