10 Annoying Wedding Trends

Categories: Top Lists
weddingrings.jpg
If you've been within a 5-foot radius of this writer at any time over the last nine months, you've certainly overheard me blabbing (nonstop -- I'm even annoying myself) about my upcoming wedding.

Naturally, I've banked hours of google image searches, bridal blog reading, and thumb-throughs of every wedding mag the grocery store has in stock. In the midst of my search for inspirations, I've come across wedding ideas and trends that are so overdone, I'm ready to puke. And if they haven't yet been done a million times, some ideas are just straight-up stupid.

props.jpg
www.flickr.com/photos/myklroventine
Germs!

10. Goofy Props at Photo Booths

Let's get one thing straight: I dig the photo booth. Everyone gets drunk and wild shit happens behind that little curtain. It makes for great times. So, please, for the love of matrimony, don't force it with giant sunglasses, over sized fuzzy top hats, mullet wigs, or fake mustaches. Do you know where those props have been? I bet they're filled with other
humans' greasy skin flakes and microscopic organisms. Sick.

9. Pre-wedding Plastic Surgery

Hit any bridal expo and you'll have skanky hoes waving their implants in your face. Literally -- they'll give you an implant to hold in your hand. I'm not morally opposed to
plastic surgery. I just think it's dangerous to surgically alter your body in order to fit into one outfit that you're going to wear for one day. What are you going to do with those massive double D's when they don't have to hold up a strapless dress? Have fun breast-feeding when you become a mommy.

8. Strapless Dresses

On that note, I'm officially filing a complaint against strapless dresses. I don't think they're the worst things in the world but strapless has
dominated the wedding dress scene for the last ten years. It's time to
give it up.

birdcage veil_250.jpg
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lagomorph/3855447909/sizes/m/in/photostream/
7. Birdcage Veil

I admit, I really liked this trend when it first hit the scene . . . four years ago. And I'm giving a free pass to the brides who are wearing them right now. Because of the lead time in planning a wedding outfit (when else do you pick a dress at least a year in advance?) it takes forever for a trend to die. So, if you're wearing one at your wedding a month from now, this means you signed on to the idea a year ago. But if you're planning you're wedding right now, don't do the birdcage veil. By the time you're at the altar you'll be on the ass end of  this trend.

6. 3-D Videography

Yes, this is a thing. Honestly, if you want to spend thousands of dollars for this so you can sit down in your living room with dumb glasses on and watch your wedding over and over again, you need to reassess your life. Seriously. Take off the  glasses, turn off the television, and get back to your marriage.

5. Photos: "The Jump" & "The Crouch"

We will give specific instructions to our wonderful wedding photographers to skip any group jumping or groom crouching. First, the group jump is something that was never that great to begin with. It's awkward. Everyone is making an ugly face. And why are they jumping anyway? It can't be comfortable in spanx.


Then there's "the crouch". It's a common set-up: Groom crouches in  the foreground with his groomsmen standing in the background. I don't  know why people haven't stopped doing this. It's a straight-up male crotch shot and it's gross.

yellow drinks.jpg
Your male guests will hate this.
4. Signature Drink

Many brides have the great idea to serve a signature cocktail to their guests. You know, because they haven't gotten over the fact that they will never be like Carrie Bradshaw. Done.

3. Green Weddings

Please. There's no such thing. Weddings are a decadent and extravagant waste of materials. Even if you try with your "recyclable" tissue paper pom poms, mason jars, or succulent centerpieces, you're still purchasing wire, ribbon, pots, and all the new materials to put the entire look together. Not to mention, are you really going to collect all that crap at the end of the night so you can be sure to get them in the recycle bin or re-plant them? That's what I thought. So stop patting yourself on the back already.

2. Butterfly Releases

Yes, some crazy brides actually trap a bunch of winged bugs and release them into the air. Because, apparently, their union is so spectacular that they have to kidnap living creatures and create some fake-ass nature-inspired moment. Not to mention, the poor little guys (usually monarchs) have been raised in unnatural environments, are being releasedaway from their natural habitat, and can't find their migratory path. Read all about the long-term environmental damage you're doing here.

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This makes me sick.
1. The Mini Top Hat Fascinator

Get that thing the hell away from my wedding.


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47 comments
dan.stewart
dan.stewart

Quite interesting and evoking thoughts for pre-wedding planning. Tungsten rings are way better than other metal rings, which i happen to see in many weddings these days.. looking forward for more posts :)

Photographer
Photographer

As a wedding photographer, I think it's annoying when brides get their grand ideas for photos and poses on tumblr or flickr or pinterest or whatever without taking the time to understand that when she and her fiance are the size of mid-size u-haul rental trucks, those poses ARE NOT going to work for you.  And any self-respecting human being (not just photographer) is not going to spend 15 hours photoshopping your size 44 jeans and elbow fat out of the image to make you look semi-decent.  How about putting in some work on a treadmill and saying no to the girl scouts when they come around trying to sell you cookies.  Just sayin.

Jay DiNitto
Jay DiNitto

Complaining about complaining. Priceless.

Wedding Photographer
Wedding Photographer

Thanks for posting it's really interesting in planning a wedding and what should be use in a wedding. ; )

Jmwytaske
Jmwytaske

Who does that?!?! Any parent or couple who would agree to this is unimaginable!

Tina @ wedding favors
Tina @ wedding favors

I totally agree on this. Posting like there is no tomorrow is really annoying.

ak_az
ak_az

#11 Gold rings! This is 2011, go with tungsten! Its' much more practical and modern. And for heaven's sake, get your rings online from a place like Tungstenworld.com. It's so much cheaper!

Umbrellas Smiling
Umbrellas Smiling

I really hate this article. Strapless dresses? It's Arizona. Even in February we have 80 degree days. Signature Drink? I don't want to buy an entire open bar for 150 people. I don't care if being trendy is uncool. A few of these things have practical applications. Sorry if I am not "hip" enough to inconvenience myself (and my checkbook) for the sake of being new and edgy.

roman
roman

ugh. all I hate at weddings are people who bitch about everything. just stay home.

Beanniferj
Beanniferj

The dove release is also a bad idea. The birds are frequently killed by predators or die because they are released into an unnatural climate for them. At one wedding in my town, one dove was eaten by a hawk and the second was picked up by a gust of wind and smashed into the side of a mountain. It is just best to leave the butterflies and doves out of weddings, the poor things.

Ashley Anne Delli
Ashley Anne Delli

As an event coordinator I'd love to add to this. Please tell your DJ's to stop playing Sir Mix A Lots "Baby Got Back". Please do not play this song at your wedding. Seriously, Grammy has no idea what the song means and she really doesn't want to see young "ladies" backin' that ass up!!! (worst wedding DJ I ever saw happened to play this song right after the father daughter dance!! WTF was he THINKING!!!)

Julia
Julia

You know what's truly annoying?

Little girls, (who are obviously not mature enough to be getting married) taking the time to make ridiculous comments in response to someone's opinion. The author wasn't naming YOU. Did you see YOUR name mentioned? WTH is with the defensiveness?

Personally, I wish she would have added these annoying trends as well:

Dresses with red accents , pick-up skirts, sashes, "I DO" letters, candy buffets, tiffany blue themes, and damask pattern themes. The chocolate fountain is right up there with the candy buffet- guaranteed, someone's little nosepicker didnt use the tongs. Would you like some snot with that, ma'am?

ARC
ARC

I had the same reaction...seriously WTF??? even a little effort is great.

ARC
ARC

amen sister!!!! I do not get the BIG wedding no matter what trends they include. It's a disgusting waste of money and everything else. Personally the idea that there are trends disturbs me.

Get over the one DAY and focus on the MARRIAGE!!! amen amen amen

Daisy
Daisy

Kudos for getting such a rise out of people! I know that wedding planning can be daunting - it's the whole reason you know the annoying trends - but it can be fun too. Happy planning to you dear. Your wedding is going to be beautiful - I mean that.Daisy PaganPerfect Settings, LLCPS You didn't mention the awful chocolate fountain fascination fiasco!!!

I Do Coupons
I Do Coupons

I'm with you on the Surgery & Mini Top Hats! (What?? No, please!) The rest are harmless fun I'd say, cuz I just can't hate on butterflies & newlyweds goofing off :)

Christykosh :)
Christykosh :)

The first thing I find humorous is that people are getting so defensive and rude over an opinion. Who cares if someone doesn't like something that you like? No one was attacking YOU personally. Do you really think there will ever be a day when everyone liked all the same stuff... I don't know about you, but I certainly hope that never happens.

People need to lighten up... The blog was hilarious and entertaining...just as it was supposed to be......AND I might add this is coming from someone who proudly wore a birdcage veil at her wedding.

For me, I don't like "mom jeans" if I had a blog I would probably write something about it. Do I think that everyone will stop wearing them bc I wrote something about how gross I think they are? Hell no! But do I have the right to express my absolute repulsion to them? Hell Yes! And it would be a hilarious read too!

I would also like to add that I PERSONALLY have always held the belief that people with nothing intelligent to say resort to calling names. Just saying...

Observer
Observer

If you hate weddings that much and think all these things that people do are "stupid" then don't go to any and don't have one. If people want to have items 1-10 that you've listed as "stupid" and they "make you want to puke" then let them. It's their money, their wedding.

notmyfirstnamechoice
notmyfirstnamechoice

You know what's getting old?! Walking down the aisle. HUH! When is THAT trend gonna end?!

[/sarcasm]

notmyfirstnamechoice
notmyfirstnamechoice

I love my strapless gown and can't wait to wear it for my wedding this October!

Me
Me

sweetheart, nobody forces you to have a wedding ceremony.you can be like your beloved Carrie Bradshaw and just register.No guests, butterflies, dresses, money will suffer

Noname
Noname

who cares about butterflies? their release creates far less damage to our planet then recent oil spill.

free movies online
free movies online

how about something real, instead of this retarded list? People do what they want, and if they have a good time, who the hell cares?

How about ending the "diamond ring" trend? Thousands are murdered every year over the little rocks, which can be made more perfect, for cheaper, in a lab.. False supply/demand at its best.

Guest
Guest

Wow, those are some selfless butterflies... being trapped by some random idiot, and actually granting that person a wish for releasing it! I think you missed the point about how you're redirecting them away from their migratory paths. Tradition or not, if you're actually aware of this and you keep doing it, you're a thoughtless jerk.

Nicole Smith
Nicole Smith

I love all of the people taking the time out of their day to not only read your material but then leave trivial comments adorned with illiterate insults because you're voicing your OPINION with witty insight-- alas, the whole point of writing a blog. Then again, I guess another key point is to get morons to hate you so much that they read your blog every day. Kudos, Lilia.

Maarte
Maarte

wedding is suppose to be wonderful. you wrote this article as if you're the biggest ASS BITCH in the world. LOL. I wasted my time reading your article.

you're not suppose to bitch about what others claim as their dream wedding. let them be happy with their life and if you do not have anything useful to do, GET LOST!

Stephanie
Stephanie

Awesome article! I confess that I'm still in love with the bird cage veil and other vintage wedding ideas; it sure beats plain old strapless dresses and white on white on white.

Love your catty tone. You're cracking me up!

For those of you complaining of bitchiness, of course it's bitchy. That's what makes this article so much fun. Weddings are amazing...and absurd...all at the same time. That's why I love them so. Do whatever you like at your wedding, regardless of what someone labels "annoying." Either way, I'm going to enjoy the ride.

Sissy B.
Sissy B.

And actually, now that I think about it, how disrespectful is this to the people in the photos you borrowed? Does Davey Morgan know that you're using his photo on a well-known internet publication as an example of what NOT to do? How do you think that bride would feel if she knew you had posted this for probably thousands of people to see? And what about the couple in the photobooth picture? What if someone did that to you without your permission? Crappy.

Sissy B.
Sissy B.

I'm happy to see that so many others agree with me: journalism and complaining are two different things! Doesn't this world have enough negativity without someone going out of their way to write nothing but bad things? Weddings are supposed to be joyful.....way to go for finding some way to take the joy out of the topic. The people have spoken: quit yer bitchin' and find something of value to do with your time.

bride2008
bride2008

Wow you seem very grouchy. Stop reading wedding magazines and step back a bit, you dont need to be such a hater. I planned my entire wedding on a budget and it was an amazing, stylish and fun day.

Hatersgonhate
Hatersgonhate

Thank you! I despise strapless dresses. no one looks good in them. women are either too skinny or too fat for the damn things.

laila
laila

The Justice of the Peace exists for a reason, you know. $50 and you're out the door. Then you have money to spend on thinks like a home, or a vacation where you can bond.

Weddings are a complete and total waste of money.

James
James

Annoying trend #11 - Blogs by bitches with nothing interesting to say.

Ddd123
Ddd123

Number 3 and 2 are great points.

Otherwise, what the fuck. You don't even bring up any substantial points.

Aoldotcom
Aoldotcom

I like the jump shots. I am beyond over strapless dresses.

Amanda Sparks
Amanda Sparks

Actually the signature drink can be a way to offer a single liquor libation at an otherwise all beer and wine bar and is a way for the couple to save money. *shrug*

Scott
Scott

What, no mention of celebratory AK-47 fire and the unintended consequence of accidentally mowing down one's family?

aBITCHbetterthanU
aBITCHbetterthanU

THIS is embarassing to read. Everyones right - your weddings is gonna suck, your divorce will be better. BITCH.

Goldenf57
Goldenf57

All I hear is Bitch Bitch Bitch. It sounds like a stressed out bride-to-be on her period complaining about how people like their weddings.

SPOILER ALERT!*Your wedding is going to suck because it'll be filled with cliche`s and you and your groom are ugly.

Sarah Johnson
Sarah Johnson

I can't say I can get behind any of these. None of them sound that bad at all, except plastic surgery. And scoffing at anyone having a green wedding? What is wrong with you? They may still require materials that aren't exactly organic, but it's still more green than not going green at all.

How about if you have your little bridezilla-type wedding, ever scoffing and laughing at us idiots who want our weddings the way we want them in the privacy of your own boudoir?

Jamie
Jamie

Wow! Aggressive! I thought it was a great list! Totally true... And I even have a couple items incorporated into my own wedding. Take it for what it is... Suggestions on things that are overdone... Nothing more, nothing less.

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