Domino's New Chicken Crust Pizza Accepts Its Inevitable Failure

Categories: Wake Up Call

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Courtesy of Domino's.
Get ready for some Specialty Chicken, y'all.
Do you know what we think every time we go to upscale pizza joint like Pomo and Pizzeria Bianco?

"Man, we wish this pizza crust was actually made of breaded chicken." Not.

But Domino's went ahead with the idea of replacing its dough, which is definitely passable anyway, with some sort of chicken nugget-looking deal for its new oddly named Specialty Chicken<. The company said in a press release that this is just part of the new "failure is an option" campaign. Well, at least it got that right.

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Viagra Ice Cream Gets You in the Mood

Categories: Wake Up Call

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Courtesy of Lick Me I'm Delicious
The Arousal is made with real Viagra.
Just when you thought the custom dessert world couldn't get any weirder, Charlie Harry Francis has created an ice cream that's not so much an aphrodisiac as it is a medically proven erectile disfunction treat.

The self-proclaimed "edible inventor" recently made a Viagra-laced ice cream flavor called The Arousal. It's no surprise that this odd, medicinal flavor was the result of a request from a celebrity client who was "very happy with the end result," according to the Huffington Post. That makes sense given that each scoop of champagne-flavored light blue Arousal contains 25 milligrams of Viagra. And you thought pot cookies were as medible as it gets.

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Arizona-Shaped Cutting Boards Bring State Love to Your Kitchen

Categories: Wake Up Call

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Courtesy of Epicurean.
Show your AZ love with this new cutting board.
The laser-cut state love fad isn't going anywhere quick. We've seen Arizona-shaped cookie cutters at ABC Cake Decorating Supplies, but now you can get your chop on Grand Canyon State-style, thanks to Epicurean. Whether you love the trend or are completely fed up with it, these home state pride kitsch-en supplies definitely are going to raise some brows because of what they're made of.

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Arizona Wilderness Brewing Co. Called the World's Best New Brewery

Categories: Wake Up Call

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Katie Johnson
A small sample of the kind of top-notch brews you can find at Arizona Wilderness Brewing.
One of Phoenix's newest breweries is gaining a lot of buzz with its craft brews after RateBeer.com, which is known as the preeminent craft beer ranking site, made it number one in its list of the world's top new breweries. Arizona Wilderness Brewing Co. in Gilbert has only been open a little over half a year, but the small craft operation has gained praise with an ever-changing lineup of beers using all locally sourced ingredients.

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KFC's Chicken Corsage: How to Completely Ruin Someone's Prom

Categories: Wake Up Call

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Courtesy of KFC.
We love fried chicken. We don't love it as an accessory.
Prom sucks. There's a lot that can go wrong from wardrobe malfunctions to being stuck dateless, but perhaps a fate even worse than going stag is being given a fried chicken corsage by your date. For some reason, KFC thought anyone would be interested in wearing fried chicken on their wrist in formal attire -- as if being a teenager didn't entail enough greasy skin issues.

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Chipotle Releases Sofritas Tofu Option in Arizona Today

Categories: Wake Up Call

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Courtesy of Chipotle.
That Chipotle burrito is all vegan.
Vegans, vegetarians, and other meat-averse folk now have their very own protein option at Chipotle restaurants in Arizona. Rather than making a hodgepodge of beans, guac, fajitas veggies, and corn (which actually doesn't sound that bad), vegans can opt for the new Sofritas, a chile pepper-braised tofu, in tacos, burritos, bowls, salads, and quesaritos (although that wouldn't be vegan anymore because of the cheese).

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Coffee Flour Is a Gluten-Free, Nutrient-Rich Alternative

Categories: Wake Up Call

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Courtesy of Coffee Flour.
It might look kind of like instant coffee, but it's really much more than that.
Hearing the words coffee flour might immediately make you think of some caffeinated food gimmick, but the new product is about sustainability and health more than providing a java jolt to your favorite pastry recipes. According to BusinessWeek, the flour has a relatively negligible amount of caffeine in it and actually is five times more fibrous than whole wheat flours, while being completely gluten-free. Made from coffee cherries, the fruit that encases the beans that we commonly roast to make our morning joe, one former Starbucks employee has found a way to transform the fruit into flour, rather than just throwing it away.

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Wal-Mart Supports Food Stamps and Anti Hunger Initiatives in the Worst Possible Way

Categories: Wake Up Call

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Fruitnet.com/Flickr
Wal-Mart's profiting off of food stamps, while driving workers to shop at food assistance programs with low wages.
Leave it to Wal-Mart to find a way to make charitable giving and supporting necessary welfare assistance look absolutely disgusting. If you still need proof that being a Wal-Mart shopper and supporting their antics is bad business, the company released a statement enumerating the reasons they're supporting an increase in Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program or SNAP benefits, and it isn't pretty. Much like JP Morgan profiting nearly $5.5 million off of producing EBT cards in 2010, food stamps help Wal-Mart's bottom line, and that's not all.

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The Coachella Diet Helps You Get Ready for Music Festivals in All the Wrong Ways

Categories: Wake Up Call

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LP Hastings
Gotta slim down if you want to rock your cultural appropriation gear and bikini top, apparently.
You read that right, folks. There's now a diet and exercise regiment originating out of California to prep gals for a weekend of bikini tops and cut-off shorts. We're all for getting in shape and eating right, but focusing on dropping poundage so you can slip into revealing outfits for Coachella isn't quite what a music fest should be about. While the diet's creators claim that it doesn't "focus overtly on weight loss," it's hard to not call bullshit on that when they frame the whole thing as a 30-day competition with prizes and weigh-ins.

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Dominique Ansel Cronut Bakery in New York Closed Due to Mouse Infestation

Categories: Wake Up Call

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Rachel Miller
Bad news for cronut fans, good news for New York area mice. (Note: These cronuts were made in a rodent-free zone!)
The cronut fad has seemingly passed, but some little critters still can't get enough of Dominique Ansel's fad fusion pastry. Over the weekend, Ansel's bakery closed after a video chronicling the New York bakery's serious mouse infestation surfaced. Whether this is the official death knell of all things cronut obsession, we're sure there are a few people who spent hours in line waiting for the pastry that would be mighty upset to know their hip treat was prepped in a facility along side the pests.

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