JK Grence

A study in beige. It tastes like it looks.

The Guilty Pleasure Food: Original Recipe Boneless Chicken
Where to Get It: KFC, locations Valleywide
Price: $5 for a two-piece meal
What It Really Costs: Sodium bloat and shame.

See also:
- 9 Favorite Spots for Fried Chicken in Metro Phoenix

Advertising executives have a harder time than ever catching the public's eye. Come up with something with just the right edge, and it takes off like wildfire; Kmart's "Ship My Pants" YouTube ad is a perfect example. A less-than-perfect example is KFC's attempt to sell its new Original Recipe Boneless Chicken.

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: Asian shaved ice.
Where To Get It: Snoh Ice Shavery, 10th Street and Camelback (and other similar places)
Price: $4-7 depending on size
What It Really Costs: "Dude, why the hell are there beans on your dessert?"

In my humble opinion, one of the most fickle parts of the restaurant industry is dessert. There's always something hot (or chilly) and new, enjoying its day in the sun before our collective taste buds are distracted by something else. Gelato and fancy cupcakes have come and gone; to the latter, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Frozen yogurt places have recently hit a saturation point; never mind that Pinkberry couldn't figure out that Phoenix might be a good market for them. We're past due for something new, and I think I've found it.

See Also:
Raspados: Shaved Ice from Oasis Raspados
Great Shakes at Bertie's in Arcadia: Get. In. The Car. Now.

In China (especially Taiwan), it's called baobing. Japanese people enjoy kakigōri. If you're in the Philippines, you'll have halo-halo. Koreans call it patbingsu. What is it? It's Asian-style shaved ice. This is a little more elaborate than the crunchy snow cones you remember from childhood, or the Hawaiian shave ice from bottled water stores. For starters, the ice is shaved very finely; the texture is reminiscent of freshly fallen powder snow. Second, while snow cones and Mexican raspados start with plain ice, Asian shaved ice starts with flavored ice.

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: Doritos Jacked and Flamas tortilla chips
Where To Get It: Your favorite grocery store.
Price: About $3
What It Really Costs: Red fingers from inhaling an entire bag of Flamas chips.

I'm finally at the bottom of the huge bags of chips I brought back from the grocery store. This week, I rip open the bags of Frito-Lay's attempt to make the Manliest Chips Ever, Doritos Jacked. According to the product literature, each chip is 40 percent bigger than a regular Doritos chip and thicker for extra crunch.

See Also:
- Lay's "Do Us a Flavor" Taste Test: Sriracha, Cheesy Garlic Bread or Chicken & Waffles?
- Doritos' Locos Tacos Doritos (Wait, What?) and Lay's Dill Pickle: Chow Bella Taste Test, Part 2

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: More Frito-Lay mass-produced chip goodness.
Where To Get It: Your favorite grocery store.
Price: About $3
What It Really Costs: Explaining the new Doritos flavor countless times.

If you tuned in last week, you found out my weakness for the snack aisle, and what happens when I avoid it for a while. Readers' Digest version: There was a chip avalanche at Chow Bella HQ. This week, there's even more strangeness from Lay's in the form of pickle-flavored potato chips. But first, it's a privilege to introduce to you the weirdest chip concept I've ever seen.

See Also:
Lay's "Do Us a Flavor" Taste Test: Sriracha, Cheesy Garlic Bread, or Chicken & Waffles?
Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos At Taco Bell: Time to Celebrate -- or Cringe?

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JK Grence

Though one could argue that picnics and grilling are year-round activities for Phoenicians, the urge to grill is strongest in spring and summer. I don't know about you, but outdoor feasting isn't complete for me without a big bowl of chips. I normally circumvent the chip aisle at the grocery store (I get more than enough guilty pleasure food through writing this column, thank you very much), but a recent trip down one showed me something: Holy crap, there are a lot of different chip flavors out there. Apparently, Frito-Lay feels the need to diversify its offerings in order to snag as much market share as possible.

The Guilty Pleasure: Lay's Do Us a Flavor Potato Chips
Where To Get It: Selected Grocery Stores (try Safeway)
Price: About $3
What It Really Costs: All the raised eyebrows you'll get when you bring Chicken & Waffles potato chips.

See Also:
Ted's Hot Dogs: A (30-Year-Old!) Slice of Buffalo, New York, in Tempe
Portillo's In Scottsdale Has an Outrageous Chocolate Cake Shake

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: White hot dog, onion rings, loganberry drink
Where to Get It: Ted's Hot Dogs, McClintock and Broadway
Price: About $8-$10, depending on choice of dog and drink size
What It Really Costs: Charring, fat, and sugar, respectively? It's the bad-for-you trinity!

Sometimes, I don't understand my brain. Last week, I got a random craving for a really good hot dog. Then I got to stuff myself full of burgers at the Scottsdale Culinary Festival's Burger Battle. One would think my lust for backyard cookout fare would be sated until at least Memorial Day, if not all the way to the Fourth of July. Such was not the case. My tube steak craving persisted.

See Also:
Scottsdale Culinary Festival Burger Battle: The Results Are In
Caramelpalooza 2013: Judge's Recap
Ted's Hot Dog's Now Offers Gluten-Free Buns. Rejoice!

In this town, there are plenty of places to go for a hot dog. Chicago dogs are a dime a dozen. And, of course, there's always the well-dressed dogs from Short Leash. But nothing hits the spot quite like Valley stalwart Ted's Hot Dogs. They've been around the Valley for 30 years now, but it seems hardly anyone I know has actually been there.

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Katie Johnson and Diana Lustig

Ribbons, "crack balls" from Essence, Millie's rosemary caramels.

The fourth annual Caramelpalooza is now but a memory. It was a grand time, with more sticky sweets on display than you can imagine. My time at the event was different from most, as I was invited to judge the competition.

As the contestants were arriving and setting up their displays, the other judges and I were sequestered in an empty shop space nearby. It was an all-star cast this year, with folks from Sweet Republic, Christopher's, Julia Baker Confections, Smeeks, go lb. salt, plus contest winner Josh Rhodes.

See Also:
Caramelpalooza 2013: And The Winners Are...
Caramelpalooza In Photos

This wasn't my first time as a judge. At the very first Caramelpalooza, I won the guest judge contest. Back then, it was a smaller affair, easily contained by the Frances/Smeeks/Stinkweeds parking lot. And there wasn't nearly as much caramel. This year, judges had the daunting task of sampling no fewer than 20 caramel confections. It sounded manageable. Then, once I saw all 20 confections lined up on banquet tables, I realized it was a very good thing that I came hungry.

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: Green Chili Combo Frybread
Where To Get It: The Stand
The Price: $4
What It Really Costs: Tell your boss you're taking an extended lunch.

I've lived in the Phoenix area for most of my life. I grew up on the edge of nowhere, back when that edge was about 25 miles closer to the middle of town than it is now. It's hard to imagine, but back then, the Superstition Freeway went as far as Gilbert Road and just stopped dead. Beyond that, it was miles and miles of fertile farmland.

See Also:
Six Favorite Spots for Fry Bread Around Metro Phoenix

Rural settings still abound around the Valley in the form of numerous Indian reservations. I'm particularly fond of the Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community, east of Scottsdale. Seeing the miles of fields takes me back in time a few decades, back when Phoenix wasn't such a burgeoning metropolis. I also love the area because there's an amazing little fry bread stand right in the middle of it.

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: Chocolate Cake Shake
Where To Get It: Portillo's, Shea just east of Loop 101
The Price:$3.19 small, $3.99 large (and they mean large)
What It Really Costs: Hopeless addiction.

When Portillo's opened in Scottsdale, I had quite the reminder that a) There are a lot of expatriate Chicagoans in the Valley of the Sun, and b) Chicagoans are incredibly fond of their native foodstuffs. Never mind that Taylor Street in Tempe has an excellent Italian beef or that Chicago Hamburger Company does a spot-on dragged-through-the-garden hot dog; Chicagoans treated Portillo's opening here with a fervor not seen since the Valley premiere of In-N-Out Burger.

See Also:
Chicago's Taylor Street Deli Combo Sandwich: A Delicious Hot Italian Mess
Portillo's in Scottsdale: The Happiest Reunion Between Girl and Food

Portillo's has earned solid marks from me for turning out above-average (for Phoenix) Italian beef sandwiches. While there, I noticed that a surprising number of trays bore a slice of chocolate cake in addition to the entrées. Apparently, they're famous for this cake. I tried one, and . . . It's chocolate cake. Tender and moist chocolate cake, but it didn't quite live up to the hype.

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JK Grence

The red and blue flecks make them more delicious.

Almost exactly one year ago, Taco Bell all but admitted that it targets the (ahem) herbal recreation market with Doritos Locos Tacos. In case you've been under a rock all this time, Doritos Locos Tacos are an unholy union of processed mass-market foodstuffs: Take a Taco Bell taco shell, and coat it with the umami neutron-bomb goodness of Nacho Cheese flavor Doritos.

See Also:
Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Tacos: Crazy-Good or Just Plain Loco?
What National Chain Restaurants do Valley Chefs Secretly Like?

After the runaway success of the original Nacho Cheese tacos (seriously, I'm pretty sure even Taco Bell was surprised by the success), Cool Ranch was an inevitable expansion of the brand. I think the public outcry for them started almost at the same time the Nacho Cheese was released. Friends, the long wait is over: Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos are now available nationwide.

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