JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure (loosely speaking): Donut Breakfast Sandwich
Where to Get It: Dunkin' Donuts, locations Valleywide
Price: $3.50 (Give or take, depending on location)
What it Really Costs: Oh, where to begin...

Quick-service chains are on to writers like me. There's an easy way to garner media buzz: Take items you already have in stock, and combine them in unexpected ways. Almost overnight, your new creation is the talk of the blogosphere. This week, the crazy item in question comes from Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin' has managed to break new ground in the lucrative breakfast market by offering a breakfast sandwich nobody saw coming, but in hindsight is patently obvious. Their new offering is... wait for it... the Donut Breakfast Sandwich.

See Also:
Two New Turbo Breakfasts: McDonald's Egg White Delight, and Carl's Jr. Biscuit Sandwiches
Wendy's New Frosty Waffle Cone: What the Hell Were They Thinking?

Take an egg and some bacon, and slap it in the middle of a halved glazed donut. Voilà, you have yourself a Donut Breakfast Sandwich. You almost have to wonder why they didn't rush it to the menu ten years ago when McDonald's introduced McGriddles sandwiches. (Side notes: 1: They didn't because they hadn't expanded the menu yet, and 2: Good god, it's been ten years since the introduction of McGriddles?!) Dunkin' did regional testing on the DBS last year, and recently rolled it out to the entire country.

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: Frosty Waffle Cone
Where to Get It: Wendy's, locations Valleywide
Price: $1.49
What It Really Costs: A sticky situation.

Another day, another overly eager press release. This time, it's the nice folks at Wendy's. Apparently, someone thought it would be a brilliant idea to put their Frosty, that frozen concoction that's too soft to be ice cream and too thick to be a milkshake, in a waffle cone. This is, at first glance, a silly idea. After all, the natural thing to do with a Frosty is to dip one's fries in it, not have it as dessert. Or maybe that's just me.

See also:
-In-N-Out Burger, McDonald's Fries and a Wendy's Frosty: Finding the Fast Food Trifecta in Paradise Valley
-KFC's New Original Recipe Boneless Chicken: You Ate the Bones? Really?

Anyway, the press release gushed "With the Frosty Waffle Cone, you can enjoy America's favorite treat for a few more delicious moments." How? This is Phoenix, that thing is going to melt into a waffle cone full of chocolate milk unless I swallow the thing whole. To the PR department's credit, they were kind enough to offer us a gift card to try one. While the offer was appreciated . . . I know journalism budgets aren't nearly what they once were, but come on, the thing is a buck and a half.

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: Boneless Rib Sandwich
Where To Get It: Burger King, locations Valleywide
The Price: $6 and up as a combo.
What It Really Costs: As always with fast food, sodium city with over 1,500 mg for the sandwich alone.

See also:
- Why You Can Shut Up About McRibs and Yoga Mats.
- McRib Melee: Can McDonald's Stand Up to British Open Pub's "McRib My A**"?!

Years ago, I gave up on Burger King. The whole operation was dismal. The menu board's dingy yellow hue gave a bad first impression, and everything else followed suit. The food was always hyper-salty and tasted like it sat far too long under a warmer. It's no wonder to me that once #2 (second only to McDonald's) BK long since lost out to Wendy's for market share.

The King's times are changing for the better. The whole chain is remodeling locations with a contemporary (and, dare I say, gorgeous) combination of black, steel, and red to evoke the flame-broiler in the kitchen. While the signature Whopper is still the centerpiece of the menu, the rest of the menu has also seen a bit of a revamp.

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JK Grence

McDonald's new Egg White Delight McMuffin

The Guilty Pleasures: Two new fast food breakfast sandwiches.
Where to Get Them: McDonald's and Carl's Jr., locations Valleywide
Price: Less than $2.50 each.
What It Really Costs: It depends where you go.

Ever since McDonald's introduced the Egg McMuffin in 1972, the fast-food breakfast has become big business. McDonald's has long been the dominant force, with everyone else trying to stake some sort of foothold, or just try to catch up to the Golden Arches juggernaut.

See also:
- 10 Places in Metro Phoenix to Get Great Pancakes

McDonald's has the tricky position of maintaining their massive market share. Lately, the public has been clamoring for some kind of healthier options. Never mind that when most people go for fast food, eating healthy is usually the last thing on their minds. In response, McDonald's has lightened up their breakfast menu with the Egg White Delight.

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JK Grence

A study in beige. It tastes like it looks.

The Guilty Pleasure Food: Original Recipe Boneless Chicken
Where to Get It: KFC, locations Valleywide
Price: $5 for a two-piece meal
What It Really Costs: Sodium bloat and shame.

See also:
- 9 Favorite Spots for Fried Chicken in Metro Phoenix

Advertising executives have a harder time than ever catching the public's eye. Come up with something with just the right edge, and it takes off like wildfire; Kmart's "Ship My Pants" YouTube ad is a perfect example. A less-than-perfect example is KFC's attempt to sell its new Original Recipe Boneless Chicken.

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: Asian shaved ice.
Where To Get It: Snoh Ice Shavery, 10th Street and Camelback (and other similar places)
Price: $4-7 depending on size
What It Really Costs: "Dude, why the hell are there beans on your dessert?"

In my humble opinion, one of the most fickle parts of the restaurant industry is dessert. There's always something hot (or chilly) and new, enjoying its day in the sun before our collective taste buds are distracted by something else. Gelato and fancy cupcakes have come and gone; to the latter, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Frozen yogurt places have recently hit a saturation point; never mind that Pinkberry couldn't figure out that Phoenix might be a good market for them. We're past due for something new, and I think I've found it.

See Also:
Raspados: Shaved Ice from Oasis Raspados
Great Shakes at Bertie's in Arcadia: Get. In. The Car. Now.

In China (especially Taiwan), it's called baobing. Japanese people enjoy kakigōri. If you're in the Philippines, you'll have halo-halo. Koreans call it patbingsu. What is it? It's Asian-style shaved ice. This is a little more elaborate than the crunchy snow cones you remember from childhood, or the Hawaiian shave ice from bottled water stores. For starters, the ice is shaved very finely; the texture is reminiscent of freshly fallen powder snow. Second, while snow cones and Mexican raspados start with plain ice, Asian shaved ice starts with flavored ice.

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: Doritos Jacked and Flamas tortilla chips
Where To Get It: Your favorite grocery store.
Price: About $3
What It Really Costs: Red fingers from inhaling an entire bag of Flamas chips.

I'm finally at the bottom of the huge bags of chips I brought back from the grocery store. This week, I rip open the bags of Frito-Lay's attempt to make the Manliest Chips Ever, Doritos Jacked. According to the product literature, each chip is 40 percent bigger than a regular Doritos chip and thicker for extra crunch.

See Also:
- Lay's "Do Us a Flavor" Taste Test: Sriracha, Cheesy Garlic Bread or Chicken & Waffles?
- Doritos' Locos Tacos Doritos (Wait, What?) and Lay's Dill Pickle: Chow Bella Taste Test, Part 2

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: More Frito-Lay mass-produced chip goodness.
Where To Get It: Your favorite grocery store.
Price: About $3
What It Really Costs: Explaining the new Doritos flavor countless times.

If you tuned in last week, you found out my weakness for the snack aisle, and what happens when I avoid it for a while. Readers' Digest version: There was a chip avalanche at Chow Bella HQ. This week, there's even more strangeness from Lay's in the form of pickle-flavored potato chips. But first, it's a privilege to introduce to you the weirdest chip concept I've ever seen.

See Also:
Lay's "Do Us a Flavor" Taste Test: Sriracha, Cheesy Garlic Bread, or Chicken & Waffles?
Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos At Taco Bell: Time to Celebrate -- or Cringe?

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JK Grence

Though one could argue that picnics and grilling are year-round activities for Phoenicians, the urge to grill is strongest in spring and summer. I don't know about you, but outdoor feasting isn't complete for me without a big bowl of chips. I normally circumvent the chip aisle at the grocery store (I get more than enough guilty pleasure food through writing this column, thank you very much), but a recent trip down one showed me something: Holy crap, there are a lot of different chip flavors out there. Apparently, Frito-Lay feels the need to diversify its offerings in order to snag as much market share as possible.

The Guilty Pleasure: Lay's Do Us a Flavor Potato Chips
Where To Get It: Selected Grocery Stores (try Safeway)
Price: About $3
What It Really Costs: All the raised eyebrows you'll get when you bring Chicken & Waffles potato chips.

See Also:
Ted's Hot Dogs: A (30-Year-Old!) Slice of Buffalo, New York, in Tempe
Portillo's In Scottsdale Has an Outrageous Chocolate Cake Shake

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JK Grence

The Guilty Pleasure: White hot dog, onion rings, loganberry drink
Where to Get It: Ted's Hot Dogs, McClintock and Broadway
Price: About $8-$10, depending on choice of dog and drink size
What It Really Costs: Charring, fat, and sugar, respectively? It's the bad-for-you trinity!

Sometimes, I don't understand my brain. Last week, I got a random craving for a really good hot dog. Then I got to stuff myself full of burgers at the Scottsdale Culinary Festival's Burger Battle. One would think my lust for backyard cookout fare would be sated until at least Memorial Day, if not all the way to the Fourth of July. Such was not the case. My tube steak craving persisted.

See Also:
Scottsdale Culinary Festival Burger Battle: The Results Are In
Caramelpalooza 2013: Judge's Recap
Ted's Hot Dog's Now Offers Gluten-Free Buns. Rejoice!

In this town, there are plenty of places to go for a hot dog. Chicago dogs are a dime a dozen. And, of course, there's always the well-dressed dogs from Short Leash. But nothing hits the spot quite like Valley stalwart Ted's Hot Dogs. They've been around the Valley for 30 years now, but it seems hardly anyone I know has actually been there.

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