​Last November, I reported Two Hippies Magic Mushroom Burgers, the psychedelic burger shack on Indian School Road and 7th Street, part of the Phoenix-based Two Hippies chain opened in 2008 by husband-and-wife team Andy and Jan Goldstein, had been shuttered and stripped of its '60s-era shtick.

Now, it appears there's some renovations going on and I've heard that the location, previously a franchise, will be taken back by the Goldstein's who plan to resurrect it in the next few weeks as a Two Hippies something or other -- maybe tacos, maybe sliders, maybe hamburgers again -- with their son and current manager of Two Hippies Beach House on Camelback Road at the helm.

Is it true or have I done too many mushrooms? In time, we shall see.

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Entryway to the old Spasso location in the Town & Country Plaza off Camelback Road in CenPho.

​Oh, the tongues of gossip are a-waggin' on this one folks: Spasso, the pizza and mozzarella bar in the Town & Country plaza on East Camelback Road in Central Phoenix recently closed, and rumor has it that a certain well-known Valley pizza master (who's also opening a restaurant in London with Jamie Oliver and has his own line of canned organic tomatoes) will be opening up a trattoria in its stead -- with a certain ex-Prado chef he hired last year at the helm.More >>

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Chris Bianco

​Well, that was short lived.

The rumor I posted at 10:58 today, that celebrity chef Jamie Oliver is pairing up with a "well-known Valley pizza master," a.k.a. Chris Bianco, has been proven to be true (thanks "Guesty McGuest!") Ah well, at least I got to use the photo of Laurel and Hardy I've been wanting to use -- twice.

According to the Morning Advertiser, Union Jack, the name of Oliver's new restaurant concept, will be headed up by Bianco, who was was made a director of Oliver's new company, Jamie Bianco Ltd.

"Speculation has indicated that Union Jack's will feature traditional British food, but the appointment of award-winning US pizza operator Chris Bianco as a director of the company overseeing the new concept suggests it will have a more modern twist and could feature pizzas made with British produce," the Morning Advertiser reports.

Details to come. I'm goin' back to bed now.

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Jamie Oliver

​Is a certain Naked Chef pairing up with a well-known Valley pizza master?

I've been hearing a fair amount of buzz lately (BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!), that Jamie Oliver, the English chef who recently attempted to improve the eating habits of kids in the Los Angeles Public School system, is opening a new restaurant this November in England with a certain James Beard Award winning pizza legend in the Valley -- and that the two already have a second location at the ready.

Attempts at contacting this private pizza man for comment have been fruitless. Is the rumor true? Maybe. Maybe not. But whichever one it is, it sure smells juicy.

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​ As the saying goes, appearances can be deceiving -- especially when it comes to a restaurant's cleanliness. While the dining area may look spotless, you never know what's lurking in the kitchen.

Perhaps food workers foregoing the required plastic gloves. Meat left on the counter too long. Or, even -- horror of all possible restaurant horrors!!! -- live roaches in the food, a problem that befell one of our former favorite hangouts back in 2008.

After reading a few of our Gross Out columns, it seems prudent to at least look up a restaurant's inspection record prior to dragging Grandma June to that hole-in-the-wall Asian place down the street that everyone swears by, but you're not so sure about.

Maricopa County's Department of Environmental Services offers a free online database of health inspections conducted in their territory, which encompasses most of the Phoenix Metro. It's pretty slick. You can type in a restaurant name and if the place has been inspected in the last three years, it'll show whether they received "No award" (ick) or a Gold or Silver Award (both respectable).

Unfortunately, certain well-known restaurants are missing. The Range Steakhouse. Ahnala. The Mobil 5-Star rated Kai. 

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We don't care what anybody says, you can't make it in this town without a car. You can try, and lord knows we have. Even living on our main drag and ridin' Miss Metro's wheels of steel just ain't enough right now. Don't get us started about your late night toilet paper replenishment options (zilch, dammit) if you are without car and livin' downtown.

But since the recession bell tolls for you (and us), we try. We wish everyone else did. We're lookin' at one particular local mini-food empire -- hint, the name is an homage to a favorite fruit -- that loves itself a "free" valet and hates loads of parking. Or any parking. Is there any neighborhood safe from their invading hoards? Run, Arcadians, run! Who on Earth could park, wait in line, get their stuff, and be out in 19 minutes? 

Like pasta? Too bad, because you can't park at their other spot, either. But maybe you can park in the corner lot that's supposed to some day become a Mexican taco stand.

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Now that Light Rail can drop peeps off almost front and center at downtown's fanciest drinkin'  spot, you'd think the swanky digs would be as jumpin' as their rich, thin, and beautiful big sister of a martini joint in Snottsdale.

And why not? They're sharin' the same DNA -- furniture, DJ, and bathrooms you find via the braille method. Seems like a recipe for kickassery, yes? One would think. We're thinking no. Sure, they can rock a drink or three of the house cocktails (thank you for the un-Scottsdale prices) but friends, please, we'd pay $14 bucks if we could get the friggin' drink. You heard us - if we could GET the drink. Like on a recent Saturday night visit. Our server was workin' it, but the bar was "busy". What? 

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Dirty Dishes

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We love breakfast. The warm, bitter, coffee steam spiraling heavenward, the crispy bacon -- fat and salty and crunchy -- and crispy taters fried up like mom used to make. It's an all-Am'r'can thing done best by corn-fed Midwesterners who know about a damned hard day of work since, according to tradition, it was invented there. Seems like that would be an easy thing to find in Cen-Phreakin' Pho. That'd be wrong. How wrong? Eighty-five people standing outside some tiny downtown diner that serves, what, 10 at a time?

And while we wait, thanks for the recession-revenue generating parking ticket on a Saturday morning, Mayor McCheese.

Or the other choice?

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​We love watching some earthy, crunchy, flower power-types shed some of their patchouli-wearing do-gooder status and make a living, as opposed to hitching up their bio-diesel wagon and following Phish around for the summer. Especially if these peaceniks' said employment gives the finger to the man.

On a curvy part of one of CenPho's favorite boulevards, there's a pair of know of two you-know-whats giving their finger to the environment.

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​Who's servin' up all of the caffeinated haterade?

Seems like people complained for years that there was nary a spot around town where good
grounds could be found. Now we have two, no less, but they're a toss apart on the main drag in our upwardly mobile central corridor.

And are the homeskillets happy? Hells, no. The twits are tweeting and the yokels are yelping about who was here first (and therefore knows the secret hipster handshake) . . . which means what, exactly?

Nothing!

Can't we have two luxurious spots around to sip the warm, yummy nectar of the goods? And locals like us should be happy that good stuff is springin' forth. We're a big ass city, now, pumpkins!

Do you hear this kind of incessant whining in Seattle or San Francisco about who poured here first? No way. People are too busy tripping over themselves to support their neighborhood spots, where killer coffee is the order of the day and there's a judicious jolt of java worth jonesing for every goddamned street corner!

Bitter whiners with iPhones and nothing better to do, your table (in Scottsdale) is waiting. We'll be here with the grown-ups who appreciate choices and Phoenix-based businesses that are buzz-inducing, and buzz-worthy.