​Emily Quinn may only be 22, but she's already made a name for herself as a bartender at Scottsdale's Jalapeño Inferno. After more than a year, the Arizona State University biochemistry student has a slew of regulars, some of who find out her schedule and make sure to come when she's working.

It's easy to see why. The affable young lady has no problem balancing chatting with customers in-between making drinks for servers, and she has a cheery attitude all the while.

She let us in on some of her experiences and warns that if you're in the area, you might get flashed by a senior citizen.

What's the best part of being a bartender? Getting to know all the people in the area and hear their life stories and all the drama that goes on.

What's the worst part of  being a bartender? When people come into the bar and don't know their limit. They might come in wasted and don't understand it's my legal responsibility what happens to them. I can't let them leave. I can't let them do anything without making sure that they're safe. It's just irritating. I used to get people who were slurring their words and asking for a drink, and it's like, 'No, I don't want to give you a drink.' And they get real angry when you cut them off. I've seen men throw glasses before.

What's your favorite cocktail to drink? A really good tequila, a really good shot of Don Julio 1942 or Don Julio Royale are my personal favorites. As far as a mixed drink, I'd have to say a Boss Margarita because it has fresh-squeezed lime juice instead of sweet and sour.

What's your least favorite drink? I hate vodka. Vodka's not my friend.

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By Wynter Holden

If you haven't been to the new Hob Nobs (in the old Willow House space on McDowell and 3rd Ave.), it’s definitely worth a visit. The place is adorable, with restored original fireplace and hardwood floors, sunlit rooms and local art decking the walls. Another cute-as-heck thing we found at Hob Nobs was barista Michael Murphy, a kooky character who’s batty for Halloween – his favorite holiday. Costumes? Check. Pumpkin-carving contest? Yup. Spooky stories? I sat a spell and he offered up a tale that'll curdle the soy in your nonfat, decaf, triple-mocha latte!

Making a Yosemite Sam costume on the fly...

Chow Bella: What’s your favorite drink to make?
Michael Murphy: The Hob Nob latte. I might be kind of partial to that because I invented it. I researched online what a "hobnob cookie" was, and it was a kind of British tea cookie. They're little shortbread cookies with sugar and cinnamon. So I came up with a drink using the shortbread syrup and cinnamon, and coffee.

CB: Tell us what your drink of choice is.
MM: What time of day? I drink coffee, except when I'm at work. At work, I stick to water and hot tea. When you're working with it, coffee gets all over you, in your clothes, in your hair.

CB: So I hear you’re a big Halloween fan. What was your most pathetic costume?
MM: This is such a sad story, and one that anyone can probably relate to. I was raised by a single mother, and one year we had to throw something together for a Halloween pageant. Mine was a queen-sized sheet with holes in it. I probably could've forgiven [my mom] earlier for that if it was a twin sheet, but a queen-size sheet is just too long for a seven-year-old. People didn't know if I was a ghost, or a bride...because I had a long, white train in the back!

Scary stuff behind the cut....readers, beware!

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By Wynter Holden

We’ve always seen Mac’s Broiler and Tap, the popular little bar with the awesome patio tucked between Tempe’s beloved Changing Hands Bookstore and the newly-opened Hoodlums music shop, but we never popped in for a drink. Lucky for us we did, because there we met 24-year-old Torey Boley, an adorably cute Utah native with a perky laugh and a loyal following of burger-hungry, cocktail-thirsty patrons. Why? She's got that fresh-faced innocence and "squeaky-cleanness" that we hardened Phoenicians envy so much...

Tori (center) pals around with co-workers Hanna and Chris

Reptile Love
My favorite drink to make would be “sex with an alligator.” It’s Midori, sweet and sour, Jaeger and raspberry liqueur. It’s green in the middle. The raspberry goes to the bottom and the Jaeger to the top, so it’s green in the middle with a little pinkish on the bottom and brown on the top. It’s so fun!

Arizona: The Normal State
I like it. The weather not so much, but I love the people that I meet. So many different cultures, beliefs. Growing up in Utah, there was one belief, one way of doing things, but coming here --well, people are normal!

On Getting De-Flowered...

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Bartender Carson Quinn of Roka Akor in Scottsdale is the kind of guy women -- and some men -- are intimidated by. He's attractive, well-traveled and intelligent, with a very European outlook and the slight drink snobbery that comes with being a good bartender (Three Olives Grape instead of fresh juice? Heaven forbid!). But underneath the smooth veneer, Quinn's a laid-back Midwest native who can talk your ear off with crazy stories about his clubbing misadventures and his former life in overnight room service. So pull up a chair, grab a beer and read on...

Chow Bella: How long have you been bartending?
Carson Quinn: I started bartending the day I turned 21, at the Ritz-Carlton.

CB: What’s your favorite drink to make?
CQ: I tend to make drinks for a woman’s palate. My favorite drink to make right now is a watermelon martini. It’s shochu, lemon juice, gum syrup and fresh watermelon. Any drink we can make with fresh juice, we do. For the watermelon martini, we’ll cut a watermelon in half and I’ll scoop out big chunks and shake it up with ice to break them up. It tastes like you’re eating a fresh watermelon…there’s no watermelon Pucker in there.

CB: What will we catch you drinking on your night off?
CQ: Right now I like mules a lot. It’s basically something that’ll have vodka and ginger beer in it. It’s fun. I also drink a lot of sake and shochu.

CB: What’s the difference between sake and shochu?
CQ: Shochu is a neutral spirit, similar to vodka. It’s distilled, but it can be distilled from any vegetable starch – grains, potatoes, brown sugar…Sake is brewed and it’s only made from rice. All of our sakes are served chilled, except one, which is served hot. Shochu doesn’t need to be chilled, and it can vary from 20-40% alcohol.

CB: Anyone ever ask you to make a drink you’d never heard of?
CQ: Sure. The "Flaming Viking," from Cheers. And we had a guy in here the other night who wanted a Pearl Harbor -- at a Japanese Restaurant. I’d never heard of it but we looked it up and it did exist. But he thought he was being funny. He said, “I was wondering if you guys would get that!”

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By Wynter Holden

27-year-old barista Joseph Boos comes off as an innocent Virgo-type, but there’s a Gemini duality brewing under the skin. His Jekyll side sings cheesy ‘80s pop tunes with his co-workers while dishing up lattes at Coffee Rush in Chandler, and speaks fluent “Starbuckanese” – though he gently reminds customers that Frappaccino is a trademark. But his alter ego, the Hyde-like character that comes out long after dark, has a full social card, likes to drink and can often be found dressed in some crazy costume at a goth/industrial club nights. Good thing he’s big on coffee, because those morning-afters can be a bitch…

Chow Bella: How did you become a barista?
Joseph Boos: Several years ago, I got started doing it because my former girfriend’s mother bought [now defunct coffee shop] Essenza. It was cheap labor. She paid us enough to pay our bills, and we got fed.

CB: Do you personally own a cappuccino/espresso maker?
JB: I used to have an espresso machine at my house. It was a really, really expensive investment, about $3000. My espresso machine was actually more expensive than the car I drove, which was a used ’91 Ford Escort. I ended up selling it on e-bay. [Editor's Note: The espresso machine, not the car.]

CB: Honestly, have you ever gone to Starbucks while working as a barista?
JB: Once. In rural Indiana, on vacation. There was nothing else around. I did the cheap thing, because I really don’t like to give them my money. So I asked for a double shot and had them pour it over ice. Then I went over to their milk bar and made myself a latte.

CB: Tell us something strange about yourself.
JB: I have this weird curse. If I’m ever sitting down, here or at a restaurant, and there’s a woman with a skirt, I will always see her underwear. My friends say it’s my God-given talent. I say there has to be modesty in this world. But there’s nothing I can say. There’s no way to say ‘um…put your legs together' without sexually harassing someone or being rude.

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By Wynter Holden

This week, we're hunting for the elusive creature known as "The Good Guy" -- a grown man who doesn't drink, party or leer at women even when they're half-dressed. The kind of guy you can bring home to mom. Some say he's just a myth, but, with our vast years of experience in tracking this particular prey, we were certain we could sniff out his lair. And we did indeed find him, in the form of bartender/General Manager Aaron Collins, a thirtyish former bouncer with bulging biceps and an equally humble attitude. We stalked him in his natural habitat at -- gasp! -- Bombshells Cabaret in Phoenix last week. Yes, that's right; the ideal man apparently works at a strip joint. Crikey, what a ripper!

Look, ma, no drink!

Chow Bella: Ok, dumb question, but why did you want to work here?

AC: Honestly, the money. It really wasn’t about the girls. I’m a bit different from the typical male bartender/GM that you’d expect in a place like this.

I’ve never smoked, never had a drink in my life, I don’t even know what a drop of alcohol tastes like. I’m a bartender that doesn’t know what his drinks taste like. And I don’t interact with the girls outside of here.

CB: Really? Are you Mormon?
AC: That’s the first question I always get. I just have no desire. Sounds weird and simple and not believable, but I swear I have more fun watching people get drunk and be goofy. Plus, I don’t pay for any of it. I don’t get sick and I don’t black out and I don’t get DUIs. And I’m always the one that can fill in the blanks at the end of the night.

CB: You obviously don't sample it, but what's your favorite drink to make?
AC: Can I say Bud Light? If I’m busy and I’m slammed, I want to hear, “can I get a Bud Light?," not "can I get a margarita?".

CB: What kind of breasts do you prefer on a woman, real or fake?
AC: Real. Easy question. Fake works for me in a bikini, but not otherwise.

More about boobs, Jesus and Aaron's crossdressing co-workers behind the cut. Don't follow if easily offended!

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By Wynter Holden

Barista Russ Kaskalla is your average 23-year-old college student. He switches majors like coffee flavors, doesn’t like to think about the future, and enjoys getting blitzed after a hard day. Most days, you can either find him decorating lattes and working the drive-thru window at Tempe’s Xtreme Bean Coffee Company where he’s been for the past two years, or playing a show downtown with his indie psychadelic rock band, TrEmUlaNtS. He’s not sure what he wants to be when he grows up (phlebotomist, rock star, coffee shop owner or recording engineer are all possibilities), but for someone his age, that’s okay. Now, when he turns 30, we’ll have to talk. Again.

Chow Bella: How long have you been a barista?
Russ Kaskalla: Two years, in December. Before that, I served people pancakes and mashed potatoes at Mimi's Cafe in Ahwatukee.

CB: What would you like to do in the future?
RK: In ten years, I’d like to be owner of something, make my own schedule. I think it’d be fun to have a cool co-op slash coffee shop with an organic garden in the back.

CB: What’s your non-alcoholic drink of choice?
RK: I’m addicted to coffee. Americanos have always been my vice, but the flavors change. Lately it’s been honey and cinnamon, or today, nutmeg. I try to just stick to one four-shot iced Americano a day.

CB: And your favorite drink to make?
RK: It’s fun to put the chocolate on the latte cups, or do latte art. I’m not one of the best, but some of the people here can pull leaves or hearts or stars, so the design shows in the froth. I did a leaf earlier today. It was cool…it just takes practice.

CB: Tell us something good that happened to you recently.
RK: I have a crappy ’89 Accord, and sometimes it doesn’t start. A few weeks ago, I went grocery shopping and it died, and I was just sitting there staring at the dash and the small mileage odometer had my ATM Pin code on it. So I went a bought a scratcher and won $50. I really needed the cash, too.

CB: Cool. Will you give us your ATM pin code?
RK: Yeah...

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By Wynter Holden

If you’re anything like the rest of us, you’d probably rather staple your genitals or commit seppuku with a letter opener than work the same job for a decade. Bartender and previous Best of Phoenix winner Westley “Wes” Nieto disagrees. She’s been working at downtown Phoenix’s famed Bikini Lounge for almost 20 years -- since the Oasis Hotel across the street where she worked the front desk closed, leaving her jobless -- and she isn’t planning on giving up the gig until the last bottle of gin is pried from her cold, dead hand. Damn. Now that’s dedication. We caught up with this spunky Hawaiian native and mother of eight (again with the dedication, although at least one pregnancy yielded twins) and she shared some of her wisdom while slinging beers and shooting pool with a couple of regulars.

Chow Bella: Wow, twenty years at one job. Any thoughts of moving on?
Westley Nieto: Get a real job? Are you kidding? Nooo way. I like it here because everyone’s so different. You get all walks of life in here – old guys and the bums and the kids. The routine, the job, is the same. But the people that you encounter always change.

CB: What was your first job like?
WN: I was nine when I had my first crappy job. I used to carry hot water for soup in a restaurant in Stockton, California. I got paid twenty-six cents a day. That was big money then!

CB: Nine years old? Why would you start working so young?
WN: I had a big family. There were 16 children. Four boys, the rest girls. (My mom was thrilled, my dad wasn’t too happy.)

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By Wynter Holden

28-year-old flairtenderJorge Cacho is a real-life movie sidekick. You know, the "super nice best friend" type who’s perpetually single until some blonde bombshell gets wise and jumps his bones. Don't believe it? Just rent Hitch or The Holiday and you'll see. Cacho isn’t handsome in the traditional way (especially with that crazy moustache), but he’s got an adorable baby face and a sweet, outgoing personality that could literally charm the pants off of any reasonably intelligent co-ed. You can currently catch him doing tricks behind the bar, conveniently located right next to the stripper poles, at Cherry Lounge & Pit in Tempe. Oh, and ladies -- he's available.

CB: Ok, what’s the deal with the moustache?
JC: I ‘m a flair bartender and there was this competition in Vegas called The Ultimate Flair Bartending Competition. For that, they encourage you to dress up and have a theme. My theme was Nacho Libre. I bought the tights, the cape. I got a perm, I grew the moustache out and it started to curl. Now it’s kind of my signature.

CB: Do people really dig it?
JC: Yes, but my roommate hates it. We’ll go out and meet a group of girls, and I’m the only one they remember, because of the moustache. He’s like “I’m going to shave it off. One of these days you’ll wake up with half a moustache!”

CB: What do you like to drink?
JC: I’m a big rum guy. My favorite drink is a splash of Sailor Jerry…he’s an old tattoo artist and I love the tattoo world. It’s spiced rum, kind of like Captain Morgan. And Corona. I remember I was a little kid, like seven or eight years old, and my uncle was the GM of [the Corona] factory. So I could walk into the factory and grab five or six beers for my cousins.

CB: Any tattoos?
JC: Eleven.

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By Wynter Holden

34-year-old Mesa native Jenifer Stern is the kind of woman who can’t sit still for long – so it’s no surprise that she works at a coffee shop. Before settling into life as a barista, Stern did stints as a corporate buyer, photographer, theatrical prop maker, security guard, gallery manager and copy shop girl. At 24, she ditched the Valley for the greener pastures of the Pacific Northwest, then LA, then Tucson, then LA again and – well, you get the picture. We managed to nail her down for a few brief minutes (between phone calls, orders and oddball customer questions) on the job at Mama Java’s Coffeehouse at Indian School & 36th St. in Phoenix.

Chow Bella: How long have you been a barista?
Jenifer Stern: Since 2004. I worked at Borders and Gold Bar Espresso, but I’ve been at Mama Java’s almost a year. I went from a terrible corporate job that I made quite a bit more at to here. There I felt like my soul was being sucked out, and here, it’s fed. I love this place. I’d hang out here anyway, so I figured why not make some money doing it?

CB: What drinks do you love to make?
JS: Anything that’s an espresso drink. You "dump, dump, dump," put the shots in, and tamp it. I love that whole process! It’s like a song; like a little dance I do. I get sad when someone orders a regular coffee or tea because it’s just pour and done.

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