10 Things Your Fellow Restaurant Patrons Really Don't Want You to Do

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Sonny Abesamis via Flickr
At this point, we've spilled the beans on what your sommelier, your server, your bartender, your pastry chef, and your hostess really don't you want to do. And while those service industry professionals are entitled to rant and rave about the day-to-day dilemma that is serving food and beverage to the general public, there's another group that deserves to put in their two cents: us.

We are the general public. The patrons who put up with your public shenanigans, at the bar, in the booth, and sitting just across from you. So here they are, the 10 things other restaurant patrons would like you to stop doing.

See also: 5 Things Your Bartender Really Doesn't Want You to Do

Babies

Don't get us wrong. Babies are adorable. Who else is cute enough to rock a bald patch on the head, a formula gut, and applesauce on the face? But when it comes to caring for your baby in the public arena, we draw the line just after breastfeeding and well before changing their diaper. We understand that babies can't help shitting where they eat, but you can certainly make the common sense decision to not change said shit at the table.

Don't spit that out.

Bad taste in your mouth? Piece of steak too fatty? We understand that eating out can sometimes feel like playing Russian Roulette with your taste buds, but if you find yourself in one of the finer dinning establishments try to refrain from spitting that food out at the table, especially if it's into a cloth napkin. Do what everyone else does when a piece of food or a particular dinner guest leaves a bad taste in their mouth: politely excuse yourself and head to the bathroom.


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9 comments
Andrea Releaseoftalibancommanders Zumsteg
Andrea Releaseoftalibancommanders Zumsteg

Only one "n" in dining ... "Stop raising hairs. Long hair, don't care. Scratch that, we do care. We care when it gets on the table, in our food, on the floors, and all the other magical places that hair can float to. Grooming is an act best reserved for bedrooms, bathrooms -- really anywhere but the kitchen and the dinning room." "Nailed down. We've seen people maintaing their manicures at dinning establishments..."

Teresa Lewis
Teresa Lewis

I have to disagree on letting the spelling errors slide. It's just lazy and sad when someone writing an article on restaurant etiquette can't spell dining correctly.

Abel Baker
Abel Baker

NT.... BORING. Surely, this isn't the best you can do? If it's not interesting, new or funny, why publish it? And the word "shitting", really?

Michelle Sheldon
Michelle Sheldon

Wow, the spelling errors in this article. It hurt my head to read this and am saddened that this was published with all those errors. Is there no editor that checks this New Times?

Charles Ford
Charles Ford

Nothing about singing, or eating off other people's plates. :)

Todd Morgan
Todd Morgan

Don't forget "take the ecigarrete outside".

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