5 Things Your Hostess Really Doesn't Want You to Do
|Courtesy Flickr user: Wonderlane|
Don't point out empty tables in the room to your hostess.
She knows they're there and she knows they're empty. She also knows that the restaurant is short-staffed, so while you and your party technically can sit in them, you technically won't get service for quite some time. Believe it or not, the hostess does know a few things that the general public does not. But with nothing more than a dinky hostess stand separating her from the
animals patrons, it's a concept easily forgotten.
No, your hostess can not serve you. She's a hostess.
If the doctor was busy seeing other patients, you wouldn't ask the receptionist to check your prostate. The arguments defending this request for a hostess to put on an apron and serve patrons range everywhere from pervy flirtation to asking, "How hard is it to just bring food to tables?" To this, both your hostess and your server might respond, "How hard is it to just make your meals at home?"
Avoid the bribes and the blackmail.
You kill more flies with honey than you do vinegar. Remember this the next time you feel like being an absolute dick for something your hostess has no control over. Threatening your hostess with a bad Yelp review or a word with her manager is not going to get you into your seat any faster. If anything it's going to guarantee you a cozy spot between the bathroom, the kitchen, and that women who won't stop hacking.
Bribery is an equally risky move. While some hostesses may turn away attempts to pay your way to a better table, others will simply turn their noses at what you consider to be a generous gift. Gee, whiz, two dollars? Why don't you sit your cheap ass down with the rest of the parties and wait your turn like everybody else.