Your Arizona Strong Beer Festival Itinerary
Peanut. Butter. Oatmeal. Cookie. Stout. Let those five words guide you as you make your way to Huss Brewing Co. for a taste of this treat, served right from the cask.
Also tapping now: Abbey Brewing Abbey Tripel Reserve
It's Four Peaks time! Arizona's favorite brewery always brings it when it comes to strong beer, and this year is no different. Sample any of the following and you'll be satisfied:
Sirius Black (bourbon-aged imperial stout, 9 percent)
2010 Bourbon Barrel Aged Hopsquatch (barleywine, 11.5 percent)
Bourbon Barrel Aged Kilt Lifter (Scottish ale, 6 percent)
Bourbon Barrel Aged Bonehead Red (imperial red ale, 8 percent)
Bourbon Barrel Aged Ryewine (barleywine, 11 percent)
Tequila Barrel Aged Raj IPA (English IPA, 7 percent)
Wine Barrel Aged Cherry Baltic Porter (Baltic porter, 7.7 percent)
Double Knot (imperial IPA, 9 percent)
2012 Hopsquatch (barleywine, 11.5 percent)
Diablo Rojo (imperial red ale, 9.2 percent
Weizenbock Collaboration (weizenbock, 7.5 percent)
2011 Winter Wobbler (barleywine, 9.2 percent)
2012 Winter Wobbler (black IPA, 7 percent)
Odelay (imperial porter, 8.1 percent)
Saunter toward Grand Canyon Brewing Co. for a taste of Hop DIPA. This is the last special tapping of the day, so no more need to keep an eye on your watch.
You came here for strong beer; The Bruery's got your strong beer right here. Bring three tickets to the California-based brewery's booth -- one for Sour in the Rye, a 7.6 percent sour ale; one for Bois, a 15 percent bourbon barrel-aged old ale; and one for Melange #3, a 16.8 percent, bourbon-aged blend of Bois, White Oak Sap (a wheatwine) and Black Tuesday (an imperial stout).
Tucson's Borderlands Brewing is pouring tasters of Noche Dulce, a 7.5 percent ABV vanilla porter, but you want the holy water: Agua Bendita, a 13 percent ABV wheatwine.
Fly to Desert Eagle Brewing's booth, where the Mesa brewery will be pouring Imperial Adler, a 12.6 percent ABV imperial oatmeal stout, and Black Sugar, an imperial stout aged in rum and oak barrels.
Scramble! Last call hits at 4:45, so it's time to squeeze in any brewery you thought about stopping by but missed. If you're looking for bang for your buck, hit the Shmaltz Brewing tent for tasters of Funky Jewbelation, a 9.4 percent ABV blend of six different ales and lagers aged in bourbon and rye whiskey barrels, and Jewbelation Reborn, the hardest-hitting brew (17 percent ABV) at the entire festival.
Most of the good stuff will be gone at this point, so if you have tickets left, use them on whichever brewery your blurry and bloodshot eyes happen to land upon. You may have to do some searching -- a lot of the vendors like to pack up their wares by this time. A lot of groups like to ditch their really trashed friends around now, too.
Festival's over, homes. Time to grab a cab, since you just drank 60 ounces of high-quality, high-gravity beer (the equivalent of five to six shots of hard liquor). Be sure to get plenty of rest -- you've got a long week of beer-drinking ahead of you.