'Honey Boo Boo's' Sketti: We Made It, Here's What It Tastes Like. (Hint: It Will Ruin Ketchup For You)

Categories: Pop Culture

Sketti1.jpg
Zach Fowle
All the best recipes use only three ingredients, right?
If there ever was a sign that Americans are getting dumber and the apocalypse is nigh, it's the popularity of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. It should tell you something when both the Democratic and Republican conventions fail to garner higher TV ratings than the antics of former Toddlers and Tiaras star Alana 'Honey Boo Boo Child' and her family of enablers.

See also:
The Unofficial Downton Abbey Cookbook

Now, I do not watch the show. my editor says it's highly addictive, which does not surprise -- things that are bad for you usually are. My interest lies mainly in what the Thompson family chooses to eat. The topic of food arises occasionally on the show -- over the course of the series, we've learned Honey Boo Boo has a fondness for roadkill washed down with "Go Go Juice," a blend of Mountain Dew and Red Bull -- but none of these have been as horrifying as Sketti.

Sketii_sauce1.jpg
The sauce, pre-nuke.
On the September 12 episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Mama Thompson revealed that she loves to cook, and that like any chef, she has her specialties. Normally her fare involves meat that's been tenderized by the grill of a car, but apparently there's a down roadkill economy in Georgia. So Mama made do with her second-best secret recipe, a delicacy whose name she announced without a hint of irony or cuteness: Sketti.

What it is: a sauce of microwaved ketchup and Country Crock ladled over pasta. Out of obligation and morbid curiosity, I cooked it. And I ate it.

Sketti_bowl.jpg
Here comes runny poo poo.
It tastes like what it is: ketchup, butter and noodles. Which isn't bad, per se. If you like ketchup -- and lordy, I do -- you won't mind the feeling of eating spoonful after spoonful of the stuff. But when mixed with melted faux butter and heated in the microwave, it becomes something not for the faint of heart. My roommates, who have lesser stomachs than I, took one whiff of the mixture and gagged. Here's the recipe as I cooked it:

  • 8 tbsp. Country Crock Original
  • 8 tbsp. Kroger Band Ketchup
  • 8 oz. Spaghetti Noodles

The dish serves two, which, when added up, gives you this nutritional content per person:

Calories: 720
Fat: 32 g.
Sodium: 1240 mg.
Carbs: 148 g.

Skett_sauce2.jpg
Mmm...BUTTER!
Not "reckless child endangerment" levels, though you do get half the recommended fat of the day (with way more than a good helping of it saturated) plus half of your recommended sodium. But permit me to get philosophical for a minute, for I see a deeper connection here. The dish can be likened, in a way, to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo itself. The food the Thompson family eats is a metaphor for their show -- filling, but with no substance. And too much ketchup.

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12 comments
DB84
DB84

Crap! What a cop out answer all of you have in terms of miscategorizing this issue as one of poverty and not of choice. Jarred spaghetti sauce is less than 2 bucks a jar and various brands are on sale almost every week, as is pasta. You don't have to put meat, but you sure as hell don't have to put butter and ketchup to make a sauce. I understand poverty, I live in it, but I make better food choices for the sake of my kids. I may not be able to buy organic or fresh all of the time, maybe once or twice a week at best, but there are cheap and healthy food options out there. This is all June does for her family is divulge in JUNK! Fat cakes! Gogo Juice! Sketti! Pageant Crack! She went to the auctions and bought nothing but CRAP! And the only reason why I know anything about Honey Boo Boo's family is because we have group presentation research, otherwise I wouldn't support this kind of ignoramus behavior. And viewers who watch for fun, you may as well count yourself as responsible when June's heart gives or Honey Boo Boo is like 500 pounds because your viewer support is funding their bad eating habits. Shame on those who think this is acceptable.

galieng
galieng

Don't know about the microwave .. but many Europeans use ketchup as spaghetti sauce.  My mom did for a long time until I told her that's not how it's done.  Not so nice to laugh at ignorance.  Which is what this is.

beron_pop
beron_pop

I like the Honey Boo Boo show. I remember growing up poor and me and my four brothers would eat ketchup, and butter sandwiches. Not because we wanted to but because we were hungry. It's easy to call this family ignorant, but they are happy, they help others, and they have goals and dreams. I think people are missing the point of the show. It's not exploitation of a bunch of rednecks, but a insight on how many Americans live.

sir_eccles
sir_eccles

Before we pat ourselves on the back for only eating authentic Italian food all the time perhaps we should looks more closely at the Kids menus offered at restaurants here in town. How many of them offer "noodles and butter" not to mention the nuggets and other junk.

wherewasi
wherewasi topcommenter

I have caught some glimpses of the show.  I liken watching this show to the morbid facination one finds at the scene of a fatal car accident on the freeway.  Everyone stops to take a look.  I'm not one to hate on a 6 year old, but she is truly being victimized by her ignorant family and by TLC.  When a family sits on the couch in their double-wide and roll their shirts up and play with their belly fat on camera, you have to know that whatever fame they have coming is not of the good variety.  The parents and the programming execs at TLC should be ashamed of themselves for exploiting this poor little girl.

 

The dad was talking about buying cases of expired Oreos as a cheap way to enhance the grocery budget, although I don't believe he used the fancy words "enhance" or "budget".

 

Kids nick-named Honey Boo Boo, Chubbs and Pumpkin - how charming.  I think the mom and dad should be nick-named Snatch and Cootie. 

 

It's really sad.  All I've seen is the commercials and a couple of teasers, and even that's too much for me.

amygdala
amygdala

The only thing ketchup should be used as a base for is BBQ sauce.  And I sure as shit wouldn't put that on top of spaghetti. Yuck.

Sindi
Sindi

Well, what can you expect of unintelligent Rednecks.  It actually makes Spaghettios sound good.  These people probably live in a village that has no upscale Italian restaurants and have never eaten authentic Italian food.  I have never seen this show nor do I ever intend to.  There is so many more intellectual shows on (PBS, etc.).

PatronAnejo
PatronAnejo

ROTFL, Peter DeRuvo, eat your heart out!

erica.c.desimone
erica.c.desimone

I've had some friends from Europe who ate this too, which I found really surprising. My mom also used margarine and Prego sauce. 

Homeimps
Homeimps

 @Sindi I'm kind of with you on that, however the term is "There ARE so many more intellectual shows..."  If you're ging to put someone down, at least your terminology should be impeccable.

Sindi
Sindi

OOPS, typo (There are, not there is) sorry!!!!!

Sindi
Sindi

 @Homeimps I caught the typo and noted it right above your remarks.  Maybe you missed it.?????

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