Laurie Notaro's Army of Foodies, the Amuse Douchers of the Culinary World

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Modern, Cutting-Edge Parents
You know, those who refuse to leave baby at home and brag that their offspring's first "chewables" were roasted beets and chevre. "Oh. Parsley LOVES arugula. LOVES. Has since she was nine months old!" Babies don't belong anywhere in which the place setting includes two forks, and not because your baby threw the first one on the floor. I will fight you on this. As in a parking lot kicking fight. You had a baby; now stay home with it. It's not cute, you're not progressive and it's only untrodden territory to bring along your baby if your baby is a dog. Because people like dogs. People don't like Baby Foodies. All you're really doing is showing us that two selfish people have devoted their lives to raising another selfish asshole. Thanks. We really needed another one.

"Now What I Would Have Done"
Who likes to dissect the menu and alert all dining companions to its flaws and what he would have done instead after a semester in culinary school, although his current job is cooking up burgs and fries for a place called "Quackers." He Tivoed all episodes of Top Chef and refuses to delete them, "just in case." He favorite game is playing "Guess What Shit I Just Put In Your Mouth" blindfolded because he once got offal (the organs of an animal, such as the brains, spine and stomach) right and a drunk girl clapped for him. His biggest nemesis is mayonnaise from a jar, and once had a hissy fit in the condiment aisle at Whole Foods because passers-by "just weren't getting how easy aioli is to make with a simple immersion blender."

Location Info

Venue

Map

Binkley's Restaurant

6920 E. Cave Creek Road, Cave Creek, AZ

Category: Restaurant

Matt's Big Breakfast

825 N. 1st St., Phoenix, AZ

Category: Restaurant

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9 comments
Dominic Armato
Dominic Armato

Out of curiosity, is the remarkable amount of time you've spent thinking, writing, and clinically obsessing about people who spend too much time thinking, writing, and clinically obsessing about food *intended* to be ironic?

Dominic Armato
Dominic Armato

Guilty, BTW.

Laurienotaro
Laurienotaro

Only intended because people love to read it, Dom. How you doin, BTW?
 

Dominic Armato
Dominic Armato

I suppose you can't get irritated with me for tasting your food since we're not in the same room.  And I *did* avoid using "mouthfeel" just for you.  (Or maybe I'm flattering myself and I'm actually the food slut.)

It's a great place... go.

http://www.skilletdoux.com/201... 

Sara
Sara

Me three!!!

Laurienotaro
Laurienotaro

WE want to hear about the Korean Grandma! At least I do!!! 

Dominic Armato
Dominic Armato

Eh, the usual.  Raising kids.  Working at night. Not sleeping.  Doing my best to provide you with fodder for more of these posts.  Lamenting that people probably are more interested in reading (admittedly funny) satirical spitballs than learning that the Korean grandma in Glendale makes better food than the bullshit Asian fusion joint with kalbi sliders and sake bombs in Old Town.  Or cupcakes. Can't get enough of those, boy howdy. But I didn't start what I'm doing because it was popular, and I'm not going to stop if it isn't, so... you know... status quo.

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