Twin Peaks "Breastaurant" Opens in Scottsdale, and We're There for the Scenery, Er, Food

By Zachary Fowle Thu., Jan. 19 2012 at 11:00 AM

Categories: Bar Fly, First Taste

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Photo by William Westfall

Twin Peaks in Scottsdale opened on Wednesday.

I am a man, and as a fairly typical representative of my gender I enjoy certain things. A large glass of beer. Sports games on high definition TVs. And, of course, breasts, both of the edible chicken and ogle-worthy human variety.

That said, I've never been a frequent visitor to breastaurants, the establishments that cater to these basest of desires. This is for a couple reasons. First, anyone who's lived in the Valley for a while has never wanted for views of scantily-clad ladies, so to mix arousal with a meal always seemed excessive.

In the same vein, a restaurant that focused on the size of its servers' assets would inevitably pale in comparison to one that hired its staff based on skills and experience with food service. When eating, the food is the thing of import, and no amount of spectacular boobs can make up for a shitty chicken wing.

So when I visited the much-talked-about Twin Peaks during its complimentary opening night for members of the media Wednesday, the food was the goal. But dammit if the girls didn't make it hard to focus. As soon as I sat down, I was immediately joined by a blonde from Austin named Jennifer (who, I discovered, is playing the part of "Naked Girl in Helmet" in the upcoming Denzel Washington movie, Flight. Guess who's going to see that).

See the full Twin Peaks slideshow here.

The owners know what they're doing in choosing these girls -- as a friend of mine used to say while motioning to his chest, "She had a GREAT personality."

What were we talking about? Oh yes, food. We'll start with the beer. Everything on tap at Twin Peaks is kept at a frosty 29 degrees -- this is actually a major point of pride for the restaurant, and there's a big digital thermometer above the bar to keep track of it.

The problem is, sub-freezing temps are far too cold to properly taste a beer (this is a topic for another post, but 45-55 degrees is usually recommended). Along with a couple dozen others, Twin Peaks pours a pair of beers based on its own recipe that are brewed locally by SanTan, according to Jennifer, AKA Naked Girl in Helmet.

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