Bacon-Angry Granny Busted Over Breakfast Blowup with Grandson

Categories: News

baconDaveBacon.jpg
Dave Bacon
​When it comes to bacon, also known as meat candy, we love it, we cherish it, and, yeah, we're even kind of obsessed by it. And if someone ate more than their fair share of it at the table, we'd probably be upset. "Hey!" We'd say, "What's the big idea? You ate more than your fair share of bacon!" And we'd be mad at first and then not mad anymore because we are not-crazy adults who know that we can just make some more if we want to.

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The Smoking Gun
Marilee Ann Kolynych, Bacon Enforcer
​Tell that to Marilee Ann Kolynych. The Smoking Gun has reported that the Pennsylvania grandmother, 63, is set for a preliminary court hearing Thursday in connection with her arrest last week for endangering the welfare of her 9-year-old grandson for eating more than his share of bacon at breakfast.

A grandma endangering the welfare of her 9-year-old grandson? For friggin' bacon? Oh, it's worse than you think. Forget chucking her needlepoint at him -- this granny got out the garden hose.

Find out what went down after the jump.

According to The Smoking Gun, 63-year-old Kolynych was busted last week after she chased the boy from her home and pinned him down on the front lawn, where she blasted him in the face with a garden hose.

Police reported that the woman was angry with the child because he had consumed more bacon than anyone else during breakfast. The boy told a Clifton Heights Police Department officer that he had "been getting tortured by his grandmother . . . all day for an incident that took place during breakfast."

The boy was not harmed during the confrontation. Kolynych, free on bail, is set for a July 7 preliminary hearing.

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6 comments
Jake_V
Jake_V

what.the.fuck.

DONE MESS WITH MY BACON!

Lindsey
Lindsey

Ron Swanson is going to marry that woman.

eat it
eat it

Now the kid knows.. bacon isn't no fuckin' joke

crimesofporkpassion
crimesofporkpassion

 Well, if she can somehow manage to have her case heard in Orange County, Florida, she'll probably be acquitted.

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