Epic Meal Time Makes an Epic Mistake: An Open Letter from an Unhappy Fan

Categories: Chow Bella
Drunken Mess title card.jpg
Epic Meal Time
This is not a good sign

For a while there, I thought you could do no wrong, Epic Meal Time (EMT).

For weeks, it was hit after hit. Sure, I worried your schtick would get old, but ingenious episode ideas like hilarious fan inclusions (Meat Building 101), awesome special guests (Deadmau5), and a whole new, sugary take on BBQ kept my faith in your gluttonous manifesto alive.

You continued to raise that bar of culinary excess, and all was right (and greasy) with the world...

until you had your Drunken Mess...

Yesterday, you posted your latest episode (see above). Yet, instead of showcasing one of the outrageously large, deep-fried, bacon-wrapped food monstrosities you are known and loved for, you chose to give your fans this:

Thumbnail image for Drunken Mess 1.jpg
Epic Meal Time
It was 4 minutes and 48 seconds of boring, drunken self-fellation. Little style and absolutely no substance. The writing was bad, the delivery was forced, and the food was uninspired, lazy and (worst of all) bacon-less. What happened? Did you guys get picked up by G4 TV?

This time, your usually endearingly bombastic roles as loudmouthed culinary gangsters came off as little more than obnoxious, Jersey Shore rejects. Yes, I'll bellow BACON STRIPS at the drop of a coin, but don't yell it at annoyed passerby when you're riding in a tacky limo, like a bunch of insecure high school girls who couldn't get prom dates.

Making a spectacle out of cutting the sandwich line and calling a fan dorky? I thought I was watching an Epic Meal Time production, not a home video of a junior high douchebag that never grew up.

And what the hell is this Harley? "This time it ain't even about the bacon because I got all these beautiful women." I'm sure their plastic excitement and shrieks were the result of the promise of a pay check being around such stars.

And the titular food? That was just insulting guys. Wrapping a poutine-covered chicken sandwich in pizza does not belong in the same house as the "TurBaconEpic," "Tequila Taco Night" or even the ""Fast Food Pizza"."

The calorie count didn't even break 16,000. What gives EMT?

Epic Meal Time, we gave you our money for two reasons.

1. Your advertisements, like the vast majority of your stuff, were brutally upfront and hilarious.

2. We wanted to see you continue what you did best: Make massive amounts of horribly unhealthy, bacon-laden foods while the style and realness only EMT can deliver.

We did not, however, give you that money to parade around like assholes on the E! Channel. Remember, that was bacon ca$h.

I don't mean to be a hater, but next week, don't give us the same trash we can find on cable television. Go back to your roots Epic Meal Time, and elevate the game.

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28 comments
vinylmickey
vinylmickey

Dude this is why I want my YouTube channel to go viral and inspire millions! SO that when I post a video of myself partying, virgins will cry and complain about it on their blog....it's retarded articles like this that show how strong EpicMealTime has inspired people

Strifei
Strifei

The best EMT shows were the ones with Shawn Dascal(the guy in the chef outfit).  Turbacon Epic(I think everyone's favorite), Breakfast of Booze, Fast Food Sushi.  The show is still good, but it's more because Harley is a humorous drunk.  Some weeks the food is good, but deep frying some Kit Kats, and putting it in a bowl with marshmallows and caramel just doesn't compare to a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird, in a pig, wrapped in bacon.

Cornellj37
Cornellj37

Dude quit your bitching. They aren't sell outs...this is their job, this is what they do now for a living. Go find something better to do with your time you fuckin' noob.

Mike Mathers
Mike Mathers

They act like that all the time, though. You can't be defensive, especially when they do it at no cost to you.

Moej O'Raisin
Moej O'Raisin

nyuk nyuk, now comes hater time, 'n all tha' flamin'.... anyhoo GO EPIC!! The world needs EPIC MEALTIME: THE MOVIE! (in 3D)

Moej O'Raisin
Moej O'Raisin

once again, ALWAYS someone hasta' whine, hasta' biotch. If ya' can't handle tha' comedy then PUUUHLEEEEEZZZZ dial 1-800-WAA-AAAH  or better yet 1-800-DOO-OOSH

Mavis Denney
Mavis Denney

Toni Spilsbury is The Organized Cook, and with an upcoming book, Toni writes about saving time, money and making dinner for today's busy moms atwww.ToniSpilsbury.com.Mavis Denney Menu Planning

Central Scrutinizer
Central Scrutinizer

Afterward, douse it in blueberry syrup and roll it in busted-up frosted flakes. Freeze for 1 hour to firm up syrup and deep fry again, until frosted flakes are a golden brown. Slice, garnish with hairlined mercury thermometers and serve.

HoppyMacSpudbuck
HoppyMacSpudbuck

I wanna see em deep fry rabbit wrapped in bacon and JD Sauce, biotches

Aim
Aim

They were celebrating ... Stop crying. Its not like we pay or they force us to watch.

Haters gonna hate.

Balljd
Balljd

I think you missed the point, the whole douchebag jersey shore actions are a comedic element that they play up, you know making fun of those people. I kind of wonder if you you're one of those people who don't realize that Stephen Colbert is a character played by Stephen Colbert. 

John
John

Couldn't agree more.. At the end of the video he should have said: "Next time, people unsubscribe us, people stop watching our videos and Google stops paying us"

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