Cupcake Vodka: Have We Brought This On Ourselves?

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It was bound to happen, right?

Cupcake this. Cupcake that. Cupcakes dressed up like people. People dressed up like cupcakes. As Chow Bella bloggers, Americans, we can't seem to get enough of this seemingly immortal sweet treat trend. When the universe asked what we would like, we demanded it give us more cupcakes. We shouted, "C'MON UNIVERSE, MAKE WITH MORE CUPCAKE STUFF!!! WE CAN'T STAND NOT HAVING CUPCAKE STUFF EVERY SECOND OF OUR LIVES!!!"

And so it did. It gave us Cupcake Vodka. And then it laughed.

It's true. Cupcake Vineyards wines, which claims to be "the U.S.'s fastest growing $8+ wine brand in 2010" is releasing Cupcake Vodka. And if you think it doesn't get worse than that, wait until you hear the flavors and the use of the word, "mouth-feel."

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Cupcake Vodka is available in four "super-premium" flavors, including Original, Frosting, Chiffon, and Devil's Food. (Ew, ew, ew, and ew.)

A press release states, "Starting with the finest grain and grape, Cupcake Vodka Original is six-times distilled to remove impurities while delivering a mouth-feel reminiscent of an indulgent delicious treat."

Mouth-feel? Mouth-feel? Try explaining mouth-feel to Uncle Mickey who just wants his gimlet "some goddamn time this year, thank you."

What may be the most difficult to comprehend is the endorsement by Doug Frost, a world-renowned spirits developer and Master Sommelier who says, "They capture purity of flavor to achieve a super-premium taste."

Yeah, we get it. Some folks love this kind of thing or there wouldn't be a market for selling it to the tune of around eighteen-dollars a bottle. And while we continue to love cupcakes, we think it may be best to draw the line here.

Well played, universe. Well played.

Would you buy Cupcake Vodka? Let us know in the comments.

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4 comments
Untilsunday
Untilsunday

How can you write such an opinionated article without even trying the product? Cupcake Vodka's are very good, infact I am a martini drinker, I love a nice dry martini. The Cupcake original Vodka which is just pure 6 times distilled vodka 98% grain and 2% grape is great as a martini vodka. They are all natural flavors, no sugar added. I have tried all of the flavors straight up and they are wonderful. I would buy Cupcake vodka purely on the premise that they are a very good product.

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