New Burger King Breakfast Items: Is BK Even Trying Anymore?

Categories: Cafe Reviews

Remember that kid who totally ruled at Guitar Hero and then, one day, when you're coming closer than you ever have to beating him, he stars screwing around and acting bored and you get super pissed off and throw the plastic Gibson SG on the floor and start screaming, "You're an asshole! You're not even trying anymore!" and he just starts laughing hysterically like it's no big deal?

Yeah, that kid's a lot like Burger King with their nine new breakfast items, four of which are coffee. And if that doesn't set the not-tryin' tone, the food will.

Hopping onto the "me, too!" fast-food breakfast bus, Burger King's new morning munchies include blueberry mini-muffins, pancake platters, a ciabatta breakfast sandwich, and iced coffees. Available until 10:30 a.m., these new items join established morning fare like the breakfast Croissan'wich and semi-new entries such as the breakfast muffin sandwich and the BK Breakfast Bowl (a Fry Girl fave.)

Here's the lowdown:

The BK Ultimate Breakfast Platter: The plastic cover of this morning monstrosity should have a big red sticker on the top that reads, "Warning! Crap-Ass Breakfast Food Inside!" You'd be better off ordering it in a hospital cafeteria -- same idea and you're closer to getting emergency medical treatment after consuming. A rubbery sausage patty, super-dry biscuit, bland scrambled eggs, and too-sweet pancakes with hard edges is no way anyone should start their day.

Four-Piece Mini Blueberry Biscuits: It doesn't get more vending-machine like than this which is sad 'cause this was the best breakfast item of the bunch. Four super-sweet, blueberry-packed biscuits served warm with vanilla icing dippin' sauce. At a buck, it's a deal but not very filling, and the sugar crash is a bitch.

BK Breakfast Ciabatta Club Sandwich: Big sandwich, huge letdown, so not trying. Thanks to the weight of the ingredients slathered in a sour orange sauce inside soft rubbery bread, the Ciabatta Club destructs upon first bite into a morning mess of barely-there eggs and bacon, chemical-tasting ham, and processed cheese. One point for for the fresh tomatoes minus a jillion points for the sunrise slip 'n' slide.

Seattle's Best Coffee: Yeah, okay, it's good. Watch out, Starbucks. Whatever. Even though most people know Seattle's Best Coffee is a subsidiary of Starbucks. Available in mocha, vanilla, and regular, hot and cold.

Even a guy with a flute can't save the King's new breakfast item apathy. And while I might see myself sneaking into BK for a cup of Seattle's Best and some blueberry biscuits, overall I'm not impressed and more than a little disappointed.

Have you tried any of the new Burger King breakfast items. If so, what did you think?

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Full disclosure...I work for a BK franchise, but in all honesty, I really like the new breakfast. Wondering if you've just gone to the "wrong" BK's. The platter is, in my opinion, a great deal at $4.29 (at most BK's) and tastes great. Of course, the product has to be made correctly. Believe me...when it's GREAT. The issue may be that some restaurants are cooking too much product ahead of time trying to anticipate the increase in business (still new). I really like the platter and the Ciabatta sandwich (it's a "smokey tomato sauce"). Quite frankly, unlike the original poster, I was least impressed with the blueberry biscuits. While they were good quality, I thought they were bland (not sweet) without the icing. Seriously, I'd suggest giving it a couple of tries. I get tired of BK and frequent other FF restaurants, but I think it's better breakfast than McD's.

If this were late night fare you might assume that the marketing geniuses think everyone is so stoned they won't even remember how revolting the pig swill tastes but here BK has entered a new level of absolute foul,disgusting and gross human chow. It may be cheap but this is a gift that will keep on giving all the way to the bathroom and that may occur only a hour after you ingest enough preservatives to keep your colon bright and cheery. They should just give you a roll of toilet paper with this crap.


Tried the Ciabatta this morning, and my first reaction was: did anyone *taste-test* this thing? It was soggy bread, bland bad I threw half of mine away. Very disappointed.


That ciabatta sandwich looks foul! What is that orange? Is it cheese? I always thought they had the best breakfast. I am a fan of the Croissan'wich and hash browns. I'll have to try some of this crap this weekend.

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