Hell's Kitchen Season 8, Episode 2: The Prison Years

Someone's gonna get shanked in the chow line.
Here's a fun game to play while watching Hell's Kitchen this season: Close your eyes and pretend it's a prison reality show. You won't be disappointed.

Last night's episode started with a bunch of EMT's busting through the doors of Hell's Kitchen at five in the morning to wake up the chef-testants and give them physical evaluations while anyone having chest pains in the greater Los Angeles area was getting a busy tone. Gordon Ramsay then announces there's nothing physically wrong with the chefs, it's all mental, and to get their asses moving to cook breakfast for 50 EMT's (we're sorry, your chest-pain call cannot be answered at this time, please call again later...)

Roll prison reality tape here...(spoiler alerts ahead!)

After missing pineapple, burnt bacon, and Raj sticking his head in the fridge (again) to cool off, the Red Team wins and as a punishment prize, gets to go to trapeze school. Blue team gets to clean.

One Ghandi flip-flop, please.
At dinner service, Chef Ramsay asks Raj to stay out of the fridge (hey, maybe there are ice cream sandwiches in there!) and announces to the teams that it will be cocktail night tonight because making cocktails is something every trained chef knows how to do and it's super-important to their careers. The highpoint of dinner service comes when Ramsay tells Melissa her fish looks like Gandhi's flip-flop and needs-to-be-a-cartoon-voice Jillian informs us that Gandhi never wore flip-flops and lived in the jungle. Apparently, Gandhi and Tarzan are easy to get messed up. Our bad.

After Blue Team Raj eats a bunch of rejected food, fails miserably at preparing salmon, and cooks all the entrees before he should have, Chef Ramsay, in true FOX style, claims the Red Team the losers and then pulls a "surprise" by eliminating Raj instead of Baby Spice Sabrina and dead-eyes Emily. FOX Surprise! The plant/sad man is gone! Everyone breathes a sigh of relief even though most of them are just as pathetic and mentally unstable.

Can't you all go home?
The next day, thanks to Gail's under-seasoned dish, the Blue Team wins the ravioli challenge and gets to go to a resort via helicopter where super-smart, kids camp cook Louis tells us it's not like being in a plane (WHAT?) and that it's like you're Superman (if Superman hovered and wore headphones.) Fast-forward through the Red Team's milking cows and the Blue Team's playing golf to super-creepy-anger-issues Trevor back at the dorm asking Gail if she wants to make out. (Throwing up a little in your mouth is okay and perfectly natural.)

At dinner service, it's Italian Night and Vinny has put extra drops of oil in his hair to celebrate along with the prize of having his Ravioli on the menu. Even with Jack Osbourne and a "proposal table" in the dining room, things go horribly wrong with Ramsay sending Boris out of the kitchen for washing dishes, Louis out for thinking a helicopter is like Superman, and declaring that the food is dying. Both teams lose.

"Get back to camp!"
Sabrina, Melissa, Boris, and Louis are on the chopping block and even after Louis sucks up to Gordon Ramsay by telling him he'd stick his hand in fire if he told him to (desperate, much?) Ramsay eliminates him anyway. In his exit interview Louis says the hardest part of leaving Hell's Kitchen is to face his kids which, like most things Louis says, makes zero sense. Why? Do they watch the show? Unlike adults, aren't kids the most forgiving souls on the planet?

Tune in next week when Sabrina, who's now gone from Baby Spice to "ghetto-ass bitch," brings it, prison-style.

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I personally think everybody needs to get off Ramsay's ass about being the reason 2 people ended their "own lives." So he told them the truth about sucking ass as a cook or even trying to be chef's. It's sad to think people asctually think they can go on national television and not be told the truth by one of the most well known chef's and restaurantuers in the world.Seriously, grow-up everybody.(all those looking to blame someone else.) We're all liable for our own actons. I mean come on now, if you've ever watched the show then you already know he's going to try to break you or help you come to your full potential. Like he knew there were people so dumb that they would kill themselves over a new lifestyle and owning a restaraunt if they couldn't handle being told their not ready to be a big boy or girl. Yeah, I'm sorry for the families of the dead, but I don't for sorry for the people who thought it was so okay to throw a tantrum and commit suicide. It just goes to show that being a grown-up is a big responsability and if you can't handle it, then maybe you should stay at home and cry about your sorrows. You can't honestly tell me "no one" ever told these people they suck or called them names! Did they kill themselves then? Nope! They waited until they could get attention and have a good mans name ran through the mud. Like I said, grow up or shut up! People stop trying to get your 15 minutes of fame for the wrong reasons, and then going overboard by smearing someones name. Which is okay, because if they really understand or respect what Ramsay has actually done for people, then you can't really expect to have people hate him. Don't worry Ramsay, there are people still out there that do try to acheive the ultimate dream, and yes, there will always be the other type of person, waiting to have everything handed to them, and if not then they bitch or throw tamtrums!

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