The Naughty Vegetarian: Top Ten Fatty Meat-Free Foods
PETA caused some hullabaloo (shocker) a couple months back with a billboard posted in Jacksonville, Fla. that said "Save the Whales, Lose the Blubber: Go Vegetarian." The billboard had a picture of a heavy-set lady on the beach in a not-so-itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie pink polka-dot bikini.
|Really, PETA? Really?|
Understandably, issues were raised questioning PETA's sensitivity and compassion for the folks the billboard makes a jab at. However, our immediate reaction to the billboard was this: Since when is vegetarian food healthy?
Donuts, French fries, and greasy quesadillas are all fine for non-carnivorous types, but we wouldn't suggest them to a dieter -- unless, like us, they are naughty vegetarians. So, to prove PETA's insanity once more, we gladly present our top ten favorite Valley vegetarian dishes that will give you your very own blubber -- with repeated consumption, of course.
The first dish we offer to the grease gods is the pesto pizza from Slices. Simply put, this is crust, cheese, pesto, and tomatoes. We see the more calorie-conscious diners blotting grease off with a napkin, but after a long Friday of carb-infested beer and liquor, we say dig in and indulge. Greasy pizza lovers can grab a slice or four at Slices locations in Tempe and NoSco.
Drive-thru maniacs can get their vegetarian fix with and secret menu item at In-N-Out. The grilled cheese is basically a cheeseburger minus the burger. It's melted cheese, onions, tomatoes, and lettuce between two buns. We like ours animal-style, which means it has the special sauce and the caramelized onions. To complete this fatty delight, add fries and a chocolate shake.
It's been a while since us crazy vegetarians have had a good hot dog, so we would like to thank Mill Avenue's Thirsty Dog 2 Go for the Double Devil Dog. Though it is not always a vegetarian option, it can be ordered with veggie dogs. The spicy dog is a delightful combination of bun, two hot dogs, onions, and jalapenos -- we like to add spicy mustard for an extra kick. The two-in-one-bun hot dog is certainly filling, especially if you add a huge, yummy pickle on the side.