Brew Review: Why Does President Obama Like Bud Light?

​Whether you agree with his decisions or not, there can be no doubt that President Obama has already accomplished many things since entering office in January of 2009. He has closed Guantanamo Bay. He has supported stem cell research. But it is one of his most recent decisions that has me conflicted and confused about our president.

Why did he choose Bud Light?

In an attempt to ease the controversy caused by the arrest of a Black Harvard professor, President Obama chose to serve Bud Light to Harvard's Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Police Sgt. James Crowley last Thursday. I know times are tough economically, but couldn't he have sprung for some Corona (or just about anything else) instead?

Some have given President Obama flack for choosing Bud Light when its parent company, InBev, is Belgium-based. I don't care if the President drinks a beer produced on our shores or not, I just don't want him drinking shit beer.

Still, it's been quite a while since I've had a good ol' Bud (because I know how bad they are from the last time), so I decided to suck it up and drink one for the President.

The things we do for our country.

Taste: what taste? This mass-produced swill is so foul that it makes over-chlorinated tap water seem crisp and refreshing by comparison. What flavor there is a subtle combination of sweaty arm pits and lemon-scented piss. God awful.

I got mine: at Circle K. The only redeeming aspect of Bud Light is that if you like it (you poor, poor soul) you can get it just about anywhere. There's an increase in convenience when you have factories populated by soulless robots "crafting" oceans of your brew daily.

Goes with: economic depressions, but certainly not the Oval Office. He's the leader of the free world with all kinds of crazy connections! Wouldn't it be more appropriate for him to offer some rare vodka he picked up on his last trip to Russia? Or how about the finest sake from his last jaunt to Japan?

Verdict: There's only one reason I can conceive that President Obama would opt for Bud Light when there are so many other beverage choices available to him: John McCain. McCain's wife Cindy is the chair of Hensley &Co., the largest Anheuser-Busch distributor in the United States. That being the case, maybe drinking Bud Light is the President's sly way of saying "Gotcha!" to McCain. A presidential victory in every sip! It's a great slogan, but it still wouldn't make me want to drink Bud Light.