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By Jay Bennett

There's no shortage of cooler, hipper, trendier, more unique breakfast joints in the Valley, but there may be no better morning spot around than the unassuming, totally uncool — and proud of it — Ranch House Grille, on East Thomas Road near 56th Street.

It's been only about eight months since I was introduced to this place by a co-worker, but in that short time, it's become the go-to breakfast joint for me and the missus. Whether we're waging war against a hangover or just fortifying before a long day of errands and chores, RHG beckons almost every time.

Ranch House Grille is no frills with a capital N.F., and there's nary a Beautiful Person or hipster in sight (okay, we've seen a couple of hipsters there) — just a whole lotta Rosies and other assorted big eaters who know kickass food and a good bargain when they see them.

Before I moved out here a couple of years ago from the genteel Midwest, I'd never even heard of this wild concoction known as chile verde. Now, it's something I order whenever I see it on a menu — and I have Ranch House Grille to thank for turning me on to its splendor. The thing is, nothing tops the CV at RHG.

First, let's start with the huevos rancheros, a meal (even at lesser establishments) that is becoming a must-order. Here, it's second-to-none. For $8, you get a plate containing a grilled tortilla topped with two eggs (I like them over-hard), melted cheddar cheese, and a whole mess of the aforementioned pork chile verde, which is thick, chunky, and bursting with spicy Southwestern flavor. Also on the plate are crispy hash browns (a truly nice touch), Spanish rice (something I usually ignore but, here, I devour as if it were my last meal), and pinto beans cooked in what must be 100 percent pork fat and so tasty that it hurts. (Hey, I never said it was a health trip.)

The huevos rancheros with pork chile verde: It's good to live in Arizona.

Then there's the chicken-fried steak. Again, it's not exactly good for you, but, boy, is it good. You can order this delicacy slathered with RHG's housemade white gravy or slathered with the chile verde. It also comes with two eggs (the "light" version comes with one egg) and those awesome crispy hash browns. The chicken-fried steak may be what Ranch House Grille is best-known for, and with good reason. This treat is so decadent, you may have to limit your chicken-fried steak order to only once or twice a year.

Chicken-fried steak: An extra trip to the gym may be in order. (Photos by Laura Hahnefeld)

There are some other gems on the menu (biscuits and gravy, chile verde burrito, and, yes, even the veggie burger is better than most) but the huevos rancheros and chicken-fried steak are what keep us coming back. I also must mention the giant red plastic cup of Diet Coke. For some reason, it just tastes better in those big red cups. The busy and super-friendly servers must like them, too, because the generous size of the cup must mean fewer free refills.

So, you can either wait an hour for a table at Matt's or the Breakfast Club or Butterfield's, or you can mosey over to the Ranch House Grille, grab a seat, and start off your Saturday morning right, with the heartiest breakfast chow around.

Budget Beat is always looking for your suggestions on where to find the best and cheapest food in the Valley. Hit me up with your ideas at jay.bennett@newtimes.com.

Ranch House Grille
5618 East Thomas Road
480-946-1290

By Michele Laudig

The word on the street is that there have been big changes at Estate House, the mansion-like fine-dining spot at SouthBridge, Fred Unger's upscale Scottsdale shopping and restaurant complex across the canal from the Scottsdale Waterfront.

Ron Dimas, the executive chef who opened the restaurant six months ago, has left, and Gio Osso, who just left Luc's, has filled his clogs, so to speak.

According to sous chef Chris Mayo, it all happened within the last week. No word yet on where Dimas is going, but it's supposedly somewhere in town.

As for the food, no changes yet to the "French-inspired wine country cuisine," although a new menu will be unveiled once Osso gets established there.

By Michele Laudig

Talk to the food fanatics around town, and Noca's got the buzz du jour, which is saying a lot for a three-and-a-half-week-old restaurant. I won't name any names, but the place has been crawling with local chefs, celebs, and even some restaurants critics. (And no, I'm not counting myself! This is the one restaurant where I can actually dine without taking notes.)

But now it's getting attention for more than chef Chris Curtiss' a la carte menu. For now, only on Sundays, Noca's doing a three-course prix fixe for $35, and it's starting to pick up steam. It's called the Simple Supper.

Better yet, proprietor Eliot Wexler tells me he's doing a special three-course Simple Supper deal this Sunday only: $99.99 (including tax and gratuity) for two people, with a choice of entree and two glasses of wine. Apparently somebody on Chowhound wondered whether a good meal for two could be had there for under a hundred bucks, so he's offering this just to get the word out about the Simple Supper. (Don't bother checking -- the post's already disappeared from the thread.)

Me? Sure, I could easily feed myself there for under $50 -- just give me one of each of the crudos, and some gelato for dessert. Easy.

By Wynter Holden

So, apparently clogging your arteries with greasy fast food just isn't enough for Burger King. No longer satisfied with their meager billion-dollar business, they've scored some valuable real estate on supermarket shelves with Burger King Ketchup & Fries potato chips.

I can appreciate the need for a good french fry every now and again. They're a truly decadent food: greasy, crunchy, hot and stuffed with so many preservatives that they'd likely survive a nuclear holocaust. (Well, at least the roaches would have something left to eat.) They're also addictively tasty, especially when dipped in a Burger King vanilla shake.

Why not make them into a ketchup-flavored chip? Because cold fries suck. Because while ketchup is a nice compliment to a hot dog, it doesn't go with Pringles. Because if I start seeing that creepy-ass King in my local Fry's, I'm ordering online and getting my groceries delivered.

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By Michele Laudig

Wow -- I just stumbled on to a fascinating Yelp discussion about whether or not the Yelpers think it's okay to accept free food in exchange for a (possibly) favorable review on the popular everyone's-a-critic website.

I'd secretly hoped that the majority of Yelp postings were sincere, unbiased reviews of local restaurants by regular customers -- and indeed, I'm sure that some of them are -- but it looks like there's a lot more bribery going on in this town than it appears.

Sure, you can tell when somebody creates a login just to pimp their own restaurant, since not only is the writing a total B.J., but said Yelper usually has no posting history. (This seems to happen on Chowhound, too, but those posts sometimes magically disappear or get drowned out by more established and critical Chowhounders.)

But I guess it doesn't end there, from the looks of this thread.

Are you cringing at this whole thing, or do you say roll with a freebie when it comes your way?

By Amy Silverman

I admit it, I'm shallow. About as deep as a cupcake, as long as it's a super-cute, tasty one.

Which is a good part of why I'm willing to pooh-pooh the county's most recent inspection report of Sprinkles Cupcakes, the boutique confectionary that finally opened earlier this year on the northeast corner of Scottsdale and Camelback roads.

This shiny chain is all about image, which is why I actually felt sorry for Sprinkles (I shouldn't -- a boxed cupcake at the place costs FIVE DOLLARS, for crying out loud) when I saw that they recently received a "No Award" citation for, basically, touching cupcakes with their bare hands.

(The other naughty behavior included old icing on a mixer's splash zone and the lack of a sign at the second hand wash sink, reminding employees to wash up. Please. That's nothing. Give me some roaches or a slimy ice machine, then we can talk.)

I'm a big fan of Maricopa County's restaurant inspection team, particularly after a few weeks of reading these reports. Gross out, indeed. But once in a while, you read a report and think, "Why, this is as ridiculous as the ban on bake sales at my kids' school!"

Yes, it's true. If you don't have kids or haven't been one yourself for a while, you likely haven't heard that the bake sale is now a thing of the past. No homemade cakes at the carnival cake walk, no gooey chocolate chip cookies for sale outside school. The best it gets these days is a sealed bag of Teddy Grahams, and you better make sure they're whole grain.

Or a Sprinkles cupcake, as long as it's pre-packaged (which will cost you an extra $1.75) and as long, apparently, as the girl behind the counter has washed her hands and donned rubber gloves.

I say, let them eat Sprinkles Cupcakes, bare hands be damned.

My new favorite meal deal: Soma Cafe's veggie burger and strawberry-kiwi iced green tea.

Sometimes life is filled with happy coincidences.

Like when my bosses here at Phoenix New Times recently announced they were looking for someone to take over the vegetarian dining beat for Chow Bella after the illustrious Megan Irwin departed for greener pastures earlier this summer. It couldn’t have come at a better time, as I’d recently decided to ease back into a meat-free lifestyle in an attempt to lose weight and avoid dying from heart disease at a tragically young age.

That’s right, I said back into vegetarianism, as during my college days in the mid-90s I’d been a steadfast member of the PETA set. It started during my freshman year at Scottsdale Community College, where I eschewed burgers and steaks for both karmic and health reasons.

It wasn’t easy at first, as a dearth of vegetarian/vegan dining options in the Valley at the time (far fewer than the choices available today like Green or Fate) meant a lot of salads, French fries, and beans and rice. I also got taunted by my pals at the time (including getting called a “faggot vegetarian”), but the joke was on them, as I dropped 20 pounds within a year. By 1996, I was the slimmest I’d ever been, weighing a lean, mean 185 pounds.

Boy, I wish I’d stuck with those habits.

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By Wynter Holden

Holy basil. I giggled like a schoolgirl when I saw this heavenly sounding herb on the menu at Thai Elephant in downtown Phoenix. You know when something you see or hear just makes you bust a gut laughing -- and no one else at your table seems to get the joke? Yeah, that was me.

I imagined Buddhist monks spending hours praying and chanting over little plant sprouts, infusing them with love. "Om, mani padme grow. Om, mani padme grow." Or...wait! Maybe it's basil that's loaded with round crevices, like Swiss cheese. No, that would be "holey" basil. Perhaps the plant, when ingested, is reputed to fill you with the holy spirit. Cure all wounds. Cause you to have angelic visions. Of course, if the latter were true, I'm thinking more people would be growing holy basil (instead of other green, leafy plants) in their basement.

So what's the real deal? Holy basil, or Tulasi, is a spicy purple or green-leafed plant native to India. Tulasi is hairier than it's cousin, the standard bright green Thai Basil found in many ethnic restaurants. Sadly, the cultivation of holy basil doesn't involve monks or exotic chants, but the plant is considered sacred in the Hindu culture and is known to have antiseptic and anti-bacterial properties. And it is used in Hindu ceremonies, which involve chanting and rituals. Guess I wasn't that far off after all.

By Michele Laudig

It seems like everybody's looking forward to Labor Day weekend, but now there's something to look forward to after the big holiday: restaurant openings! For some reason it feels like the whole city starts to wake up in September, even though the heat isn't going anywhere.

At the new W Scottsdale, Sushi Roku will open on Friday, September 5, with executive chef Tim Fields, formerly of The Boulders Resort, presiding in the kitchen.

The menu looks pretty extensive, at least for a Japanese restaurant. Along with sashimi, temaki, and makizushi, there will be a variety of hot and cold appetizers and entrees, from toro tartar in wasabi soy with caviar, and premium homemade tofu three ways (with white truffles; caviar and lemon oil; and scallions with sesame oil), to yakiniku short ribs and grilled jidori chicken with shiitake. Sixty- and eighty-dollar omakase meals will also be offered.

The sleek 6,000-square-foot restaurant restaurant, an offshoot of the L.A. original, promises to be a dramatic environment, with teak wood floors and ceiling, moody lighting, and an elliptical sushi bar. A variety of specialty cocktails and 22 different sakes should make things even more interesting.

Two days later, on Sunday, September 7, Camelback Inn will unveil a new contemporary Southwestern eatery, Rita's Kitchen, as well as a new lobby watering hole called R Bar. Both will be located in the newly renovated main lodge, which is also making a debut.

Open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, Rita's Kitchen will be the kind of place you could go for a "spa burrito," pecan-studded waffle, or a filling buffet (actually, make that two buffets, one more healthful, and the other more indulgent. Lunch will feature sandwiches, salads, and apps with a Southwestern spin, like Baja-style shrimp cocktail. In the evening, they'll swap out sandwiches for grilled entrees, from carne asada tampiquena to fish of the day.

The vibe at Rita's will be warm and casual, with reclaimed wood floors, adobe walls, wood ceiling beams, and abundant artwork. Strolling mariachis -- and a lengthy list of margaritas -- will keep things lively.

While R Bar sounds more like the kind of place where resort guests will want to knock back a cocktail or three, there will also be a menu of homemade Mexican dishes.

And yes, celeb chef Laurent Tourondel's BLT Steak will also be opening at Camelback Inn, but not until October 9. Stay tuned for more details.

By Michele Laudig

Megan Irwin's weekly installments of Veggie Girl were an instant hit on Chow Bella when they started earlier this summer -- readers gave lots of feedback, and Megan was enthused about covering vegetarian dining. And alas, just when it seemed she was on a roll, Veggie Girl left us to embark on a whole new phase of her life.

But now we're getting a new blogger with a craving for vegetarian dishes, Benjamin Leatherman. Perhaps you've seen his writing in the music section. Or the Night & Day section. Or the front cover of New Times. Benjamin's a hell of a multitasker (he's also our clubs editor). And as it turns out, he's been on the lookout for meatless dishes, and is eager to write about it.

Hit up Chow Bella tomorrow, and every Tuesday, to see what Veggie Boy's been eating around town.

by Robrt L. Pela

I keep getting up from where I’m sitting to go look at the tablecloth our friend Ruth Beautmont brought over last night. Ruth (a former Floradora girl) knows that Mr. Grossman has a thing for old linens, and when I phoned last night to say, “We’re barbecuing, come over!” she showed up with this amazing old tablecloth.

I know. I’m such a fag.

By Steve Jansen

It's alive!

My only two regrets from visiting the Mill Avenue My Big Fat Greek Restaurant and ordering this custard piled high with vanilla ice cream and caramel? That I didn't get a photo of dude setting this dish (and almost himself) on fire with flambed brandy, and that I'm not cool enough to pronounce "Galaktobouriko."

But other than that, everything else was chill. Well, actually, hot as you can see by the bubbling goodness covering the plate. I ate this beast by myself on an empty stomach and couldn't even think about food for the next six hours, so be sure to enjoy this with a friend or five.

By Michele Laudig

Gio Osso is already gone from Luc's, the luxury El Pedregal restaurant, barely more than three months after taking the executive chef post. According to owner Robert Hall, the change-up happened about a week ago.

As I reported in May, Osso was chef number three for the restaurant, which opened last summer. Stepping in to replace him is Stephen "Chops" Smith, who has been the chef de cuisine at Luc's for a while now.

Hall says there are no plans to overhaul the menu.

"The menu is always changing, and it's all pretty much Chops' food anyway," he says.

By Michele Laudig

One of the most high-profile restaurant developments of 2008 also happens to be a home-grown Arizona original.

Prado is the name of the new Spanish-style signature restaurant at the soon-to-open InterContinental Montelucia Resort & Spa, and unlike some of the other high-profile eateries anticipated for 2008, it's not an outpost of a restaurant in another city, nor is it helmed by a celebrity chef.

Although, to be fair, Prado chef Claudio Urciuoli has become somewhat of a celebrity in his own right in Phoenix, making a splash at Taggia and, briefly, Different Pointe of View, before teaming up with the Montelucia people for this original new concept.

As a Slow Food devotee, Urciuoli's passion for local, seasonal ingredients will inspire a menu of traditional Andalusian cooking, with wood-fired grilling as a focus. (Among the southern Spanish region's many contributions to culinary culture, the invention of tapas is one of Andalusia's claims to fame.)

Prado will feature patio dining with dramatic views of Camelback, a wine cellar, and private dining. And in the hopes of appealing to locals, not just resort guests, menu prices will be accessible. Local consultant Jim Smith worked with the owners of the property to come up with the architecture, decor, and concept.

M Bar at Prado will be situated at the entrance to Prado, with a bar, Moroccan-style lounge, and outdoor courtyard seating. (The "M" stands for Montelucia, by the way.) Look for Spanish tapas, 100 percent agave tequilas, craft cocktails, and the signature "M Burger."

Elsewhere at on the Montelucia property, there will be plenty more to eat. Crave Cafe, geared towards locals, will serve up coffee, gelato, baked goods, crepes, and more, and will also feature a retail component, where you'll be able to pick up a bottle of wine or liquor, as well as gourmet food to go.

Joya Spa Terrace & Juice Bar will cater to spa guests, with a sort of yin-and-yang assortment of feel-good foods: ceviche, flatbreads, and salads for the health-conscious, and burgers, fries, and cupcakes for folks who'd rather just indulge (hence the exuberant name, Joya).

And at the main pool area, there will be a casual eatery called Kasbah, with a relaxed Mediterranean vibe by day and a sexy lounge feel by night. Highlights will include custom cocktails and more than a dozen kinds of French fries from around the world -- sounds very interesting, doesn't it?

November will be an exciting month. The resort itself is scheduled to open November 4, and all of the onsite restaurants and bars will be open by Thanksgiving -- just in time for Phoenicians to give thanks to some new places to dine out! Amen.

By Michele Laudig

If you're craving Thai food for dinner tonight, I have a tasty suggestion: Yupha's Thai Kitchen.

The popular Tempe restaurant closed its doors several weeks ago, gearing up for a big move to a new space east of its former home. Like the old location, the upgraded spot is on Elliott Road (1805 E. Elliott, 480-839-0576), on the southeast corner at McClintock.

Owner Yupha Dequenne says it's a little bit bigger now -- about 100 seats instead of 77 -- but feels quite a bit bigger, thanks to a new layout.

The scrumptious Thai menu is the same, with a few new items, including gaeng pa, a low-fat vegetarian curry that doesn't contain coconut milk, and gaeng kua supparod, a pineapple coconut milk red curry with jumbo shrimp. Both were customer favorites that had been offered as daily specials in the past.

If you're like me, you might be ready to run out to Yupha's for lunch (the food is really delicious), but they don't open their doors until dinner tonight, at 6 p.m. Bon appetit!