Terry Goddard's Anti-Jan Brewer Commercial (Suggested)

Dennis Gilman's simple suggestion for a Goddard attack ad

No use belaboring a point: Governor Jan Brewer's a colossal idiot. How did this hillbilly queen become governor? Oh, that's right, she lucked into the job once ex-Gov. Janet Napolitano skipped Sand Land to become the Obama administration's official border hawk and honcho of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.

Personally, I blame Nappy for saddling us with our accidental, X-ray technician goober-nor. And I plan to hold it against her should the two-faced social climber ever return to the People's Republic of the Prickly Pear to run for U.S. Senate, as many assume she one day will.

In the meantime, before Democrats begin writing themselves invites to "Governor" Terry Goddard's inauguration, keep this in mind: Arizona is full of hillbillies, many of them semi-senile wingnuts from out of state. So Brewer's recent, well-publicized gaffes are only political pay dirt as long as the Dems use them to their advantage, over and over again, in campaign commercials.

That's because we all know, despite Goddard's repeated calls for more debates, such face-to-face verbal pugilism will likely occur only over the cold corpse of Brewer's string-puller Chuck "CCA" Coughlin.

See, this was not an anomaly. Reporters who have seen Brewer in action mangling the English language, misreading prepared statements, or, in one egregious example, reading the wrong speech at a press conference, know that the Brewer who was on last night's Clean Elections debate is the real, unvarnished Jan.

Still, the election is two months out. So the public will need constant reminding of what an imbecile Brewer truly is.

Above is videographer Dennis Gilman's humble submission. What I suggest is that the Dems run something with a series of questions being asked of Brewer, with each one being answered by Brewer's awkward dead air.

Yeah, Goddard did okay last night, but I would also say that Goddard and the Arizona Dems in general are cursed with fists full of thumbs. They too often have the mentality of losers and pettifoggers. If I had to put down some chips, I'd bet that they take this succulent, roasted pheasant and let it rot on its golden serving tray.

Gilman here suggests a Freudian slip on Brewer's part, where she seems about to say the word "beheadings" before she sputters her way into silence. No doubt she was anticipating an attack from Goddard on the subject of her previous prevarications about headless bodies in the desert. Perhaps that helped put her mind on pause.

Or, maybe, as I've said, she's just a blithering bumpkin with a cactus for a brain.

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Chandler
Chandler

please lets get the title of her medical degree correct, gov. jan brewer would be now called a radiologic technologist,if she still is credentialed, not a radiologic technician. members of the radiology community dropped being called technicians about 40 years ago. medicine has advanced greatly over the years in complexity and so has the educational and skill requirements to work in the filed of radiology. hence we are radiologic technologists not technicians. thankyou.

Stacy
Stacy

Goddard ought to challenge Brewer to the AIMS test. -- Brewer, are you smarter than a 5th grader?

wherewasi
wherewasi

But by signing that thar new House Bill to tell 3rd graders to smarten up by gettin edgamaketed in reading words, maybe yer gubener have did a good thing to make sure yer kid has got more better skilz at reading and talking than did she has.

Chg9389
Chg9389

So this is the only way? Elect a strong secretary of state so they'll take over from this nitwit when she's reelected? How is it that we've only had two governors - Babbit and Napalitano - who weren't impeached, indicted, convicted, or recalled since the 1980's? This is getting ridiculous! People, think who you vote for in the race for Secretary of State. They'll PROBABLY be your governor at some point!

Neal
Neal

There is a Russian proverb that the people get the leaders they deserve. The disheartening thing about Brewer, Arpaio, and JD Hayworth (thank God he was stopped--although at the cost of McCain's integrity), and many other Arizona politicians past and present, is that they are a direct reflection of the majority in that state. It seems that the very worst people are not only winning elections there but are wildly popular.

I do not live in Arizona, but I once did for a few years. I'm aware that there is a vibrant progressive minority in that state--one of the most advanced and intelligent underground progressive communities in the nation. They must suffer tremendous alienation looking around at the ignorance and bigotry of their leadership and of their fellow citizens. Things are so bad there with violations of the US Constitution that the Federal Government is intervening to require the state and Maricopa County to comply with the law. It will be interesting to watch what happens. I think when we look back a year from today we will probably see Arpaio under a multiple count federal indictment, Brewer leaving office due to dementia, and the Ninth Circuit upholding Judge Susan Bolton's ruling against SB 1070. An optimistic person would also hope that McCain will return to some kind of rationality--although his integrity has been so damaged by his pandering to the tea party that it will be difficult to believe anything he ever says from now on. The man lacks judgment and integrity on a colossal scale.

Neal
Neal

Brewer's sudden loss for words and her struggle to form a sentence are telltale signs of Alzheimer's Disease. The kind of verbal impairment she demonstrates in this video clip may appear to be related to substance abuse, specifically alcohol intoxication, but the speech pattern, the limited vocabulary, and the sudden loss for words are classic early Alzheimer's symptoms. If she is re-elected she probably will not serve very long, based on what I'm seeing here.

chicagonut
chicagonut

Since when do hillbillies live in the desert?

Emil Pulsifer
Emil Pulsifer

Great video, Gilman! See my comment on Goddard's actual video for more feedback.

Hank Hill
Hank Hill

I've seen this debate video a few times already and it still makes me want to puke. Hey Guv, the gerbil I pulled out of Arpaio's ass was just taken off of life support. Come over to my garage and we'll swap out brains.

Schadenfriend
Schadenfriend

Hey, it's unfair to make fun of someone because they're not as smart as you.

Unless they're your governor.

Coz
Coz

You're right, Brewer is an imbecile, and whats sadder than that is it makes anyone that votes for her a bigger imbecile..... and we all know Sandland is full of hillbilly imbecile's.

Publius Maximus
Publius Maximus

Morons, the senile, and the illiterate need a governor that understands them. And in Brewer they will get it. She is only a more extreme version of Palin, Paul, and the like. The Arizona motto should be changed to, " We is dumber than sh#t, and we is proud of it!"

GENO
GENO

We could all go for a round 2. Ironically, we know how much the arpaio fan geezers and wing-dings in general,love to catch their daily news from Faux10(and FauxNews). Faux10 did a survey on their website yesterday, asking the public if there should be another debate. When I voted in the survey last night, it was clear that the vast majority of Faux10News watchers wanted to see another debate. 72.0% said Yes, while 28.0% said No when I voted. So yeah, why not have a round 2?! Let's give that Leather-Face a 2nd chance, she'll act as "'semi-senlie" as the first. Exposing her true embecilities. That is what the public needs to see!!!

BrewCrew
BrewCrew

For Sale by Jan Brewer:A package of "Brain Freeze" suckers and a pair of Brewer "Beheading" Flip Flops.Call Chuck at (602) 528-3684.

stoplying
stoplying

Hey No Action Jan: How much blood money did you and your campaign people get for supporting inadequate safeguards to protect murderers from escaping?

How much money for murderers killing innocent life while on the lam under your watch?

You should donate the blood money from your private prison supporters, that you gladly accepted along with your advisers, to the families of the people murdered. But I doubt they would accept it.

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