Andrew Thomas: Top 10 Options for All That Free Time on His Hands

andrew thomas-thumb-250x186.jpg
Dave Foley? Who's that?
Today is a red letter day in former County Attorney Andrew Thomas' life. From here on out, barring a bolt of lightning, he'll have oodles of free time to pursue other interests. So here are some suggestions for "Candy." Feel free to add your own. I did leave out him learning judo to protect himself in the joint should he be indicted and convicted by the feds. That, and trying to get his soul back from Satan. But those are no-brainers.

10) Grow back that mustache and start introducing himself as "Brock Landers."

9) Find out if his wife's parents came here illegally, and if so, deport 'em.

8) Call Dennis Wilenchik and ask for his old job back.

7) Catch some bargain matinees with Lisa Aubuchon. (Dinner for Schmucks is still playing!)

6) Score a cool gig as Sheriff Joe's valet.

5) Audition to be Dave Foley's stand-in for the next Kids in the Hall reunion.

4) Partner with Barnett Lotstein on a Cold Stone Creamery franchise. (Doug Ducey can get them in dead cheap.)

3) Break out the bon-bons and the Old Milwaukee and see what Elisabeth Hasselbeck's up to on The View.

2) Keep those virtual chickens fed on FarmVille.

And the number one option for all of Andrew Thomas' newly-found free time:

1) Cruise Scottsdale clubs with the opening line, "You know, I used to prosecute judges for a living..."


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27 comments
Mr. & Mrs. Arpaio
Mr. & Mrs. Arpaio

You people seem to forget that Mr. and Mrs. Arpaio-Thomas will be getting married in the fall. Sheriff Jose will not tolerate his bitch working anywhere. Besides, changing Joe's diapers will be full time. You are all invited to the wedding at the stroke of midnight on October 31, 2010, at the Church of The Disemboweled AntiChrist, 666 S. PieceOShit Prkwy.

Nunabizness
Nunabizness

Stephen Lemons is to comedy what Andrew Thomas is to the Board of Supervisors

ttrottier
ttrottier

How's about some community service at the park.

Dedg
Dedg

He** yeah!!! now hopefully he will join so many of the people he prosecuted justly and unjustly in their cell's he would be a good cell b@&ch!!!

Kmljagu
Kmljagu

He will get hired to prosecute for the CA and go after Romley and the same old folks... gosh I didn't think of that. Dang it!

Kenneth Robeson
Kenneth Robeson

Thomas was the opposite side of the same coin as Barry Sotero. A harvard grad, who wrote a book, with zero real world experience, suddenly put in charge. It's all rarefied ideology, untempered by any contact with reality. Both doing incredible damage, stomping about in shoes too big for them. Good riddance to one, hopefully soon to the other.

CPL Garcia
CPL Garcia

this idiot, even though he lost to another bigot, I hope Joe knows he has to work his ass off for 2012 not just his bitchy ass interviews.... YAY it is a new Arizona Go Rotelleni, Glassman & Hess for a better Arizona

Victory
Victory

Lemons you forgot he could open a food buffet. We know he would make a killing because fat asses like you can't stay away. Or a cigarette store, so cancer stick sucking morons like yourself can fill up your lungs and die faster. It's time to weed out the weak liberal minded morons and get this country back on it's feet. I hope Horne hires Thomas and they continue their pursuit of those who think they are above the law.

Just the facts, ma'am
Just the facts, ma'am

Hire him as what? He has no experience as a real prosecutor other than 6 months in juvenile court and 6 months in misdemeanor charging. He's never done a single jury trial, although he has lied about doing one. He's not qualified to do anything at the AG's office other than being a file clerk.

Glyph
Glyph

I'm so glad he lost. I can't imagine Thomas doing at the state level the things he did here in Maricopa County.

GENO
GENO

The Feathered Bastard had me LOLing with that suggestion of learning "Judo" and trying to get his wretched soul back from Satan. That was a good one, better than all 10 of em, he listed.

Roro, I think that might be solitary confinement. He's too popular behind bars, if you know what I mean.

pit boss
pit boss

I agree with #10 as The Dirty needs a replacement for Ben Qualye since he's on leave to pursue other interests.

Also, if he needs a place to stay I will allow him to sleep with my dog in her bed ON THE CONDITION that he grow the 'stache back. He's just not the same without it, and we all know it.

Intddo
Intddo

Are you kidding me. He is going to find widespread 'fraud' in the voting and spend the next few weeks fighting the result in court. That is my guess.

Phoenix-Answers.com
Phoenix-Answers.com

Aw, geez. A typo on the #1 answer! It shoulda been either:a) TRY TO prosecute judges; orb) I used to PERSECUTE judges

Schadenfriend
Schadenfriend

Continue his search for the "real" corrupt county officials. You know, like OJ searching for the "real killers."

former republican
former republican

For those like Thomas who believe the answer to crime is more and more prisons...

Thomas will have free time in prison, where he can be rehabilitated (providing there's money). He can follow Pat Nolan's path. These are the elected officials who wrote the laws that made the U.S. the #1 jailer in the world and strips people of their rights. 2007 was a big year in malicious prosecution by Andrew Thomas, and his team...Aubuchon, Alexander, then the Duke / Nifong abuse of power case emerged. Nifong was rightfully disbarred by the North Carolina Bar and convicted.

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/religi...

September 21st, 2007 Pat Nolan

BOB ABERNETHY, anchor: Now a story about a former state legislator who believed the answer to crime was more and more prisons — until he got locked up himself. Now he’s leading a faith-based program for prisoner rehabilitation, and he says it works. Compared to a national recidivism rate of 67 percent, for his ex-cons, he says, it is just eight percent. Lucky Severson reports." continued...

LAST LAUGH! Got it!
LAST LAUGH! Got it!

Good job and Arizona should Thank the Horne team for doing what the State Bar the DOJ and formaer attorney general Goddard could not do. Get Andy out of Job. Aubuchon and thomas will NOT be working together. One has to tesify against the other to save their respective hide. Willenchik also will not be hiring Thomas..he represents the heartless and not so powerful Aubuchon.

former republican
former republican

One of the TV stations held a similar pole: one person suggested Thomas write for the New Times.

Roro
Roro

You forgot the most important thing: If he is indicted by the Federal Grand Jury and convicted of abuse of power, he could spend some of his copious free time in jail.

Coz
Coz

The sad part is, you watch, Bozo Joe Arpaio will put him on the MCSO payroll as his in house attorney...

Everybody knows how shit attracts fly's, and Bozo Joe is the biggest piece of shit alive.

Porter M. Corn
Porter M. Corn

It makes no difference in my life one way or another, but congratulation Arizona. You did the right thing. And Stephen, keep up the good work until all these nativist white trash mofo or on the trash heap of history.

Zippy
Zippy

bill montgomery will hire him and Lisa back

former republican
former republican

Remain vigilant. He will bring the old "executive" group back.

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