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Jeez, Joe, take a nap, will ya? You're too old to keep up this pace...

Ancient oldsters being wheeled around by their 70-year-old "children." Blue-hairs lugging about their own oxygen tanks. A withered old crone with literally one tooth in her mouth, eager to get her book signed. The occasional redneck. Some broad from former KIA-peddler Rusty Childress' bike outfit Riders U.S.A. buying a half dozen copies of Joe's new tome. This is what the line looked like at the Barnes and Noble in Surprise on Saturday. Like you needed proof that Joe's big in the Sun City area, Joe's core audience of alter kockers bought an estimated 80 or so books during the book signing.

Joe's fans are so old, when they went to school, they didn't have history...

I say "estimated" because the bookstore employees acted like they were scared witless of press, and clammed up over even the most picayune of factoids. Remember back when people who worked in bookstores were not pathetic corporate drones? That's a subject for a different day, of course, but real bookstores used to employ a more independent breed. Nowadays, they seem mostly cowed and obedient. They might as well be selling plumbing supplies instead of books.

A lone Riders USA Member loading up on books. Who knew they could read?

Joe himself looked tired, washed-out, beat. Although a few sign-wielding protesters were out in the 100-degree heat, representin' por la causa, there was no one on the inside intent on interrupting the geriatric love-fest with an embarrassing question, as in the past. Nor were there any TV news cameras around. I got there a little late, with Joe wrapping up his remarks to the living cemetery before him.

"Real criminals," like Joe and his flunkies.

"Here's that guy from the New Times," announced Joe when he saw me. "He follows me around. Yeah, the one in the green shirt...That was a very vicious article you wrote about my book signing, slander and everything else. Keep it up."

"It's the real truth, Joe," I shot back. Joe was referring to my review of his book Joe's Law in New Times' most recent issue.

The grannies in attendance booed and yelled, "Remove him!" Some dough-faced alter kocker dood told me to, "Get out of here." I told him, politely, that it's still a free country, despite what he wants it to be. Do all old people end up this way, or is it just that authority-worshipping a-holes retire to Sand Land? There certainly are a butt-load of them around. And, sadly, they vote, though many barely know what day it is or where they are.

You'll get no argument here...

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The Silver Fox, Mesa Police Chief George Gascon, outwitted and outmaneuvered Sheriff Joe on Thursday. See a slideshow of yesterday's events, here.

So where was Joe yesterday afternoon for the big Mesa sweep? Pro-immigrant protesters were out in full force in front of the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office substation in Mesa. Joe's political rival Dan Saban made an appearance. Every TV and radio station in town was there, as were photographers and print journos from the AP, the Arizona Republic, La Voz, and so on. Nativist protesters from the American Freedom Riders showed up, though the far more extremist wing-nut org United for a Sovereign America and its crew of hate-addled, snaggletoothed rednecks wimped out, like the pathetic poltroons that they are.

All the players in the Valley's pro-immigrant movement were in attendance: Sal Reza, Danny Ortega, Lydia Guzman, Alfredo Gutierrez, etc. There was also a tent and a stage provided courtesy of Radio Campesina. Before the MCSO substation itself, scores of Mesa cops kept watch in the middle of Javelina Avenue, keeping the nearly 200 anti-Joe folks on one side and the 15 or 20 pro-Joe people on the other. Mesa Police Chief George Gascon personally reviewed the troops at one point, and came out later to talk to the press.

"As you can tell, the operation is a successful one, so far," Gascon told members of the Fourth Estate. "We have people that are here expressing their views, whether for or against. They're doing it peacefully. We believe this is a marked difference from what occurred in past operations in Guadalupe and Phoenix. So far--and I don't want to claim victory yet--but so far what we have attempted to do here is occurring."

But where, oh where, was the Coward of the County, our crotchety top constable, mean ol' Nickel Bag Joe? Lashing out like a wounded animal up on the 19th floor of the Wells Fargo Building in downtown Phoenix, whining that George Gascon leaked his plan of attack on Mesa to the press, and bitching that he had no choice but to set up his mobile command center outside of Mesa, as his brownshirts hunt Hispanics in the streets.

Of course, it's Joe who refused to share info with Gascon, not the other way 'round. And, let's be honest, if Joe were really the badass he pretends to be, then he'd be going after real criminals -- like those villains behind the 40K criminal warrants outstanding in county--instead of chasing brown people with broken tail lights.

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The Shaq video that's got the whole world yappin', even mean, ol' Sheriff Joe...

By now, nearly everyone's seen the freakin' hi-larious clip above of Suns center Shaquille O'Neal dissin' the Lakers' Kobe Bryant for not being able to take an NBA championship without him, bustin' rhymes like, "You know how I be/Last week Kobe couldn't do without me," and asking the NBA MVP, "Kobe, for real, tell me how my ass tastes."

Shaq's freestyle rap at a New York nightclub has been all the buzz since TMZ.com posted the video. Now Maricopa County's tired ol' Sheriff Joe's trying to horn in on the publicity, declaring that he's removing Shaq from his posse, all because of The Big Cactus' salty language and his use of the n-word.

"I want his two badges back," Arpaio spat to the Associated Press, referring to Shaq's ceremonial positions as a special deputy and a colonel of the MCSO posse. "Because if any one of my deputies did something like this, they're fired. I don't condone this type of racial conduct."

What a pant-load! Arpaio's calling Shaq a racist? The sheriff who's devoted the last year and a half of his tenure in office to racially profiling brown people? The sheriff whose jails are practically run by race-based gangs like the Aryan Brotherhood? The sheriff who proclaims that every undocumented Mexican is a "criminal" even though at most such individuals are only guilty of a civil violation? The sheriff who does sweeps of freakin' water-parks and reportedly plans to go hunting for Hispanics in Mesa this week?

(For more dope on the upcoming anti-brown sweep of Mesa, check the press release at the end of this article from the Mesa Police Association condemning Arpaio.)

The way Sheriff Joe wishes it would be...

All this because Shaq, a black man, used the n-word, which is part of the parlance of hip-hop. By Joe's senile old logic, that would make not only every rapper alive a racist, but brand much of the African-American community racist as well. Earth to Joe: If you use the n-word and you're African-American, that's acceptable under current cultural rules, like it or not. That'd be like you calling yourself a wrinkled old cracka, Joe. Or referring to your Chief Deputy David Hendershott as a two-ton, pasta-poundin' ofay peckerwood.

But in reality, Joe's cheap-ass publicity stunt has nothing to do with outrage over the use of the n-word, or any other, um, off-color verbiage. Nah, this is all payback for Shaq turning a cold-shoulder on the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office and choosing to become a reserve officer with a real police force, the Tempe PD, instead.

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Joe giving the oldsters a thrill at the recent Scottsdale booksigning.

One thing I like about these ongoing protests of Sheriff Joe signing his book Joe's Law at Barnes and Noble stores throughout the Valley, is that they strip away the veneer of bullshit that overlays everything to do with our corrupt top constable, revealing the puss-filled sore beneath.

A protester braves 115-degree heat to get the message across.

Saturday's demo at the B&N in Scottsdale was no different. A small army of anti-Joe folks weathered the merciless 115-degree weather, waving placards equating Joe with the KKK, or a lot more accurately, a clown named "Arpayaso," payaso meaning "clown" in Spanish. And though they were stationed on the sidewalk far from the bookstore, their presence was felt inside, with Arpaio making mention of them more than once during his speech to the whitebread, and spiritually blind Joe supporters who had assembled to hear his blather.

Alleged public urinator Buffalo Rick Galeener, beady eyes glued to his hero.

In the bookstore, one anti-Joe dood got booted for holding up a sign blasting Joe as he was speaking. Another was kicked out for asking Joe a question about Scott Norberg. After the Norberg question, Arpaio went on a rant about how Norberg came into his jail high, and, "We had to subdue him." In other words, Arpaio rationalized Norberg's murder by MCSO personnel. It was a murder that ended in a then-record $8.25 million settlement for Norberg's family.

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Randy Parraz of the Maricopa Citizens for Safety and Accountability following his grilling of the Supes.

Maricopa County Board of Supervisors meetings resemble a cross between kabuki theater and Stalinist show trials. Brown-shirted MCSO deputies line the walls. Speakers are cut off at three minutes, or threatened with ejection. The five members of the Board of Supervisors sit up on a raised horseshoe, studying computer screens before them, pompous and god-like. Andrew Kunasek, the Board's Chairman, looks like he was pulled straight from central casting for the role of villain, name, pointy features and all. Kunasek bangs his gavel with all the moral authority of a totalitarian functionary. Even when he stated in response to a speaker's question that, "I believe in the [U.S.] Constitution," he did so with clenched teeth, and restrained vengeance in his eye.

MCSA's lead organizer Raquel Teran fires up the crowd outside the BOS meeting.

The question that prompted Kunasek to reply in such a fashion came from Randy Parraz, of Maricopa Citizens for Safety and Accountability. Parraz was the last of several speakers repping the new group, which made its debut at the Board of Supes meeting on Thursday. And what a debut it was, packing the BOS chambers with hundreds. A hundred-plus more were turned away at the door, told they could not be accommodated, and had to watch the proceedings via TV from another room. Parraz was the last and most animated of MCSA's speakers. From the podium, he did his impersonation of Al Pacino in And Justice for All. For three minutes, he put the Supes on trial. I kept waiting for him to say, "And you're out of order. And you're out of order..."

Instead, Parraz was asking each Supe if he or she would take a step, little or small, to implement Title Six of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Only Supervisor Mary Rose Wilcox seemed to answer in the affirmative. Kunasek replied as has been stated above.

Parraz also asked the Supes if, "To ensure greater accountability and transparency, would you support a recommendation that Sheriff Arpaio come before this body to account for his department's expenditures on a monthly basis, yes or no?"

"Mr. Stapley?" he asked.

"I don't think that's an appropriate way to do public business," harrumphed District 2 supervisor Don Stapley.

Parraz: "I think that's a, `No.' Mr. Kunasek?"

"We get reports on all the budgets," scowled Kunasek.

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The things people will cop to online. Take these recent postings to the message board of United for a Sovereign America, one of the Valley's most virulent hate groups led by alleged public urinator Buffalo Rick Galeener and erstwhile KIA-dealer Rusty Childress. Under the June 16 subject heading "beware!!!!!," U.S.A. member Craig Tillman warns his fellow nativists of a contact supposedly made by a member of the notorious Vinlanders Social Club.

"Hey everybody," writes Tillman, "last weekend on the line, our members were approached by a guy from Vinlanders. I looked into the site that he gave us. this is a splinter group of white supremist [sic]. My own opinion is that we, USA, and all who are associated with our cause illegal immigration [sic], stay as far away from these guys, that if they attend a meeting, that USA requests they leave politely. if you want to look into their site go to vinlanders.com make up your own minds."

The outreach on the part of the Vinlanders seems logical. The anti-immigrant message on the Vinlanders' Web site dovetails with that of U.S.A., and U.S.A. has accepted neo-Nazis into its ranks heretofore -- Elton Hall and J.T. Ready being the most notable. And many (though not all) of U.S.A.'s members have similar views to those of the Vinlanders. The only barrier would seem to be cultural. The Vinlanders are racist skinheads, and U.S.A. members are inclined to be old a-holes on bikes, or at least those little scooters that disabled and ancient U.S.A.-ers drive around.

If his horror here is genuine and not the stuff of grade-school drama queens, then I suppose Craig Tillman deserves a star for just saying no to white supremacy. Problem is, he told me on at least one occasion that Elton Hall was his friend and remained so even after the revelation of his devout neo-Nazism. Comments from Mary Lou Benigno and Terri Koob echo Tillman's sentiment regarding the Vinlanders on the U.S.A. board.

However, Lynne, one of the most hostile U.S.A. members, seemed to dig the Vinlanders, at least in the sense of bringing more warm bodies for the cause. See, Lynne (there's only one I know of in the group) resembles a linebacker for the New York Giants, and like all U.S.A.-ites, sports a sidearm. If she were a few decades younger, she might've been ripe for the whole white supremacist thing. Save for her sexual preference, which might not be cool with the braces and laces crowd.

"Well he said they would show up in Clothes [sic] which covered their Tattoo's and look like normal people," offers Lynne by way of explanation. "I said welcome [sic] to show up and carry a sign or a flag The more people here to keep the Illegal Alien Invaders in their cage the better . . But as with all the other groups whom say they are "GOING TO" . . They Never showed up . .[sic]"

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So what do you expect from a pack of baguette-chomping, Bordeaux-swilling Frogs when it comes to producing a short item on our corrupt top constable Sheriff Joe Arpaio? If you guessed a slab of fresh, steaming pile o' merde, with Joe's mug perched atop it like a party favor, then you are correct, sir...

Indeed, this Agence France-Presse article, which was recently published on Breitbart.com, and has since been repeated as gospel by local Sand Land knuckledraggers, shoves its metaphorical snout so far up Joe's sphincter that the writer may be tasting chitlins in his morning cafe au lait for the next three weeks. (Chitlins are pig intestines, people, and have the sort of aftertaste that you might expect them to have.) Truly, even the infamous, and once-MILFy Lisa Allen, Sheriff's office flack and amateur canine groomer, couldn't have written a more worshipful ditty devoted to Maricopa County's Pennzoil-pated chief flatfoot.

The Brie-eaters' puff piece is titled, "Toughest sheriff in US vows no let up in immigration fight," and its buttlick lead pretty much follows this headline's direction -- straight down onto the proverbial kneepads.

"He's been described as Hitler and a member of the Klu Klux Klan [sic] by Hispanic critics and immigrant rights groups," reads the first graph of the piece, which thankfully for its author lacks a byline,"but Sheriff Joe Arpaio prefers to see himself as an equal opportunities advocate. `We lock everybody up,' he says."

And so the story goes, with much of the same lame, hackneyed bullhockey we've heard so many times before: pink underwear, Tent City, Arpaio's slobbering desire to incarcerate Paris Hilton (though she never got near his jails), more pink underwear, knee-jerk sadism, hatred of brown folk, yadda-yadda-yadda.

"Arpaio's last sweep sent 200 deputies, helicopters, and an armored car into a one square-mile Latino-dominated town, pulling over anyone with a cracked tail-light or a broken windshield," the Camembert-heads tell us, referring to Guadalupe, though they never mention the town by name, likely because they don't know it.

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The following bit o’ weirdness comes courtesy of a reader who was sent the initial e-mail below from one Jon Garrido, a local activist and wannabe Phoenix city councilman. Garrido runs the "Hispanic News" Web site (http://hispanic.cc), which bills itself as, "The number 1 Hispanic website in the United States." Um, hypothetically, at least, that claim would seem to make his site better read than those for La Voz here in Phoenix, or La Opinion in Los Angeles...

Garrido regularly e-mails the universe with his deep thoughts, on, say, gays in politics, Mexico, the border, and various other issues. His latest ditty denounced Governor Napolitano for being a lesbian, and for her being her usual spineless self when it comes to the oppression of the undocumented in this state. This landed in the e-mail inbox of ASU Communications professor, Karma Chavez (great name, BTW), who, annoyed by the unwelcome intrusion, asked Garrido to take her off his e-mail list in no uncertain terms. Garrido responded with a few choice words of his own, as you can see. I got the second string below from Professor Chavez after contacting her for this blog post.

It's a free country. You don't have to like everybody. And if you want to come off sounding like the Hispanic Archie Bunker, that's your biz. Actually, I agree with Garrido on a couple of points. Until recently, when she jerked $1.6 million away from the MCSO -- money Arpaio was using for his anti-immigrant sweeps -- Napolitano’d been a real weasel on the issue of illegal immigration. Signing the employer sanctions law is but one example.

On the topic of the governor being a closeted lesbian, it's true that's widely assumed to be the case. (I asked Napolitano about this during a news conference in 2006; she told me she was very offended by the question.) Still, I think if the guv came out tomorrow, she would be an instant heroine to many and would likely be on the cover of every major news magazine and newspaper in the country. It could also be an enormous career boost. Sure, she has denied being a lesbian in the past, and her enemies would accuse her of lying to the public (though I've yet to meet anyone who assumes she's straight). However, there's an easy out to that -- she could say she's in love with another woman, and no longer wishes to hide her true self. Crikey, she'd be on Oprah the next day, and feted at the Democratic National Convention in August!

In other words, even if Nappy is in reality as asexual as an aphid, coming out as a lesbian would make her a pop culture icon. Though it might make a U.S. Senate campaign more difficult, it could help her snag a cabinet post in an Obama administration, seeing that Obama's a progressive enough cat to seek out an openly gay pol for a cabinet position.

As far as bein' a Veep goes, Obama is not going to choose Nappy to be his VP, but that has nada to do with her preferences in the sack. It has more to do with the fact that the Napster's endorsement did not win Arizona for Obama in the presidential primary. Let's face it, Nappy has all the charisma of a jar of pickled pigs’ snouts. What in tarnation would Janet bring to an Obama ticket? I mean, other than her collection of checkered sport coats?

Garrido's comments do seem rather ugly at points. Take this line, "As for the issue of homosexuals, 98% of Hispanics think like I do..." When I suggested during a phone confab that Garrido might've pulled that stat out of his ass, he hung up on me.

Not sure what he means about ASU being a hotbed of ladies like the good Karma (sorry, Prof, couldn't help myself). ASU a hotbed of women with PhDs? With Hispanic last names? With Sanskrit first names? Or perhaps Garrido means those femmes who never forget to TiVo Ellen? Hmmm....

Garrido's attempts at tempering his remarks seem left-handed at best. Like when he states, "Even if I personally can not accept gay marriage, I have included this group in my civil rights advocacy."

Bravo, Jon. I'm sure that GLAAD award is in the mail.

Anyway, here's the e-mail exchange. And Garrido actually wanted this back and forth to see the light of day before District 8 voters find out who he is? Heh. No wonder polemicists make such piss-poor politicians.

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Crispin Glover at Chandler Cinemas in May with Midnite Movie Mamacita Andrea Beesley-Brown.

Crispin Glover lecturing Village Voice Media attorney Steve Suskin and New Times editor Rick Barrs on libel law. Glover educating locals on his needs while in town. Glover insisting on payment in cash before taking the stage at Chandler Cinemas. Glover advising a reporter not to write about him.

To swipe a phrase from the late, great Rod Serling, "Presented for your approval, the voluminous e-mails of one Crispin Glover, Hollywood actor..." What was initially meant as a small stick of type for this week's Bird column mushroomed over the span of a few days, as I sought the Back to the Future star's input on the item.

Not long after I e-mailed the B-lister about his May appearance at the struggling, independent Chandler Cinemas, he was allegedly on the horn to Chandler Cinemas owner/operator Matt Yenkala, putting him through the ringer for talking to me. The thing to remember is, Yenkala did not come to me with the tale. Rather, I'd run across it when I bumped into Midnite Movie Mamacita Andrea Beesley-Brown during First Friday. Alas, I missed the showing of Glover's surreal tour de force while Glover was in town for its three day run.

Initially, I was under the mistaken impression that Glover had accused the Chandler Cinemas' projectionist of stealing a portion of the film. But it quickly became clear that this was not the case. Instead, it was (and is) Glover's belief that part of his flick was damaged at Chandler Cinemas. Those involved in bringing Glover to Chandler are not convinced of this. Nevertheless, Yenkala has promised to pay $610 to replace a portion of Glover's film.

Since Chandler Cinemas is a small, plucky concern, attempting to bring revivals and unusual fare to a desert metropolis parched from a paucity of art and revival cinema, may I suggest that those who can donate to Chandler Cinemas, and maybe together we can assist Mr. Yenkala pay off Mr. Glover in the crisp, new bills he prefers. For what it's worth, I'll be sending Mr. Yenkala a few ducats from my humble paycheck. I've never been down to his cinema, but I'm glad it's around, and hope it will be for some time to come.

You can read what Mr. Yenkala has to say about all this at the MySpace page for Chandler Cinemas. There's a PayPal button there if you wish to donate to the cause.

I divided these out in "strings," beginning with a trail of e-mails that emanate from Glover, then from some of the other participants. There's a little repeat, but I thought you might want to see the difference between the rider Glover sends New Times, and the one sent to us by the promoters, which in turn was supposed to have been sent by Glover. The one Glover sends us mentions that he's to be paid up front, in cash. The one the promoters say he sent does not mention this stipulation.

But before you review the electronic missives below, a litte video for auld lang syne:

Ah, remember when Letterman was funny? Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end...

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Master debunker Mark "Gravy" Roberts' video blasting the BS 9/11 conspiracy theory of a controlled demo out of the proverbial H2O.

WITH A WIMPER: Wannabe-PhD Blair Gadsby crapped out today on his Looney Tunes hunger strike in front of U.S. Senator John McCain's Phoenix office. Gadsby announced this afternoon on The Jeff Farias' Show on KPHX 1480 AM that after today, day 17 for him sans victuals, he was declaring victory, calling it quits, and looking forward to a hamburger, even though he accomplished not one of his stated goals. Gadsby got zero time with the presidential hopeful (he wanted two hours with Grampa Munster), and he didn't even manage to starve himself till collapse. (What a wus!) Instead, he gave some flunky at McCain's office a troofer book and DVD, which will supposedly be given to the Senator. Yep, I'm sure McCain'll sit right down and study that troofer propaganda like he was back in the Hanoi Hilton and his life depended on it. (Not.) So what did Gadsby achieve, other than showing how totally wack his ever-dwindling "movement" is? Well, he got to visit with fellow Froot Loop state Sen. Karen Johnson at the Legislature, and he now knows what it is to suffer for his insanity. Personally, I would've had more respect for him if he'd starved himself to death and become a martyr for his fellow morons. But, hey, he's got young minds to warp at the community college where he teaches. And miles to go before he sleeps...

The gushing blandishments of true believers aside, Arizona state Senator Karen Johnson's 10-minute floor speech yesterday championing the troofer cause was as dumb as drywall and twice as thin. Is this the best the troofers have got? If so, it's no wonder their moonbatty “movement” is near extinction.

I'll bet Blair "Anybody got a Hot Pocket?" Gadsby had a full-body orgasm when Johnson acknowledged the wannabe-prof and his fellow 9/11 nitwits from the floor. Then the moonhowlin' Mesa grandmother dove right into retard ramblings so doddering they could give Phoenix troof leader Kent "Cow Killer" Knudson a run for his own bovine biscuits.

Anyway, for what it’s worth, here’s a breakdown of some of Johnson’s more egregious flakery from her speechifyin’ on the subject of 9/11.

Karen Johnson: “In four out of four cases, no hijacking code was transmitted by the hijacked airliners.”

Hard to do that when your throat’s been slit and your transponder – the device that transmits the hijack code – has been turned off, as it was in three out four of the hijacked planes on 9/11. In the case of one aircraft, UA Flight 175, the transponder code changed, but was not cut off. Minutes later, according to The 9/11 Commission Report, a flight attendant notified UA of the hijacking at 8:52 a.m. That’s about 11 minutes before Flight 175 slammed into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

“A male flight attendant called a United office in San Francisco,” reads the report, “reaching Marc Policastro.The flight attendant reported that the flight had been hijacked, both pilots had been killed, a flight attendant had been stabbed, and the hijackers were probably flying the plane. The call lasted about two minutes, after which Policastro and a colleague tried unsuccessfully to contact the flight.”

Johnson and her a-hole troofer pals would surely argue that the flight attendant’s call had been faked using super high-tech voice morphing technology. Either that, or he was in reality one of David Icke's shape-shifting Lizard People.

KJ: “In four out of four cases, no fighter jets managed to get alongside any of the hijacked airplanes.”

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I'm on deadline all day Tuesday, and so, alas, will likely miss the following. Wish I could be there to report on the tsunami of insanity that will deluge the Arizona state Capitol as Blair "My kingdom for a hotdog!" Gadsby and a rabid horde troofer tards storm the Legislature to hear their moonbatty heroine state Senator Karen Johnson rant and spew about how 9/11 was an inside job and how Osama bin Laden's a psy-ops patsy crafted by Freemason-Bilderburg-CIA-New World Order spooks operating out of Area 51. Check out this troofer press release:

Arizona State Senate Floor Speech Tomorrow
drew, 10 June 2008(created 9 June 2008)

Park in Westley Bolin Plaza (it’s a park) across the street from the capitol. As you walk toward the capitol with the copper dome, the Senate building is on the left and the House is on the right. Enter the Senate and go to the 3rd Floor to get into the gallery. The guards can direct you. No picket signs allowed inside. Any attire is acceptable (no dress code). No flash photography allowed … no cell phones turned on … no motion picture equipment in the gallery … no audio or video equipment … no food or drinks …. You can have your cell phones on vibrate.

What, no food or drinks? Gadsby may expire of hunger right on the premises! We can only hope, kemosabes. Otherwise, this bs may go on, and on, and on. If he's still alive once I'm off deadline, I plan to get a Carls Jr. burger and chow down sloppily in front of the dopey, community college instructor. If he's lucky, I'll let him sniff my fingers, dripping with the greese from the grilled beef.

Decades from now, when some poor sod has to write a college term paper about mass psychosis in 21st Century America, he may run across accounts of troofer activity in Sand Land, and wonder at the hunger artists, paranoid freaks, Holocaust deniers, Bush-haters, and neo-Nazi a-holes that comprise the local 9/11 troof movement and scratch his noggin. Just like we do now at the Salem witch trials or the McCarthy era or the belief that a bag o' leeches'll cure what ails ya. Mankind thinks it advances. But in spite of all of its technology, it's still mired in superstition, magical thinking, scapegoating and sheer lunacy, as the 9/11 troof cult conspires daily to reveal.

I'll watch the Johnson speech when I can online and rebut it. Unless the dynamic debunking duo of Pat Curley and James Bennett of Screw Loose Change beats me to it.

PS: In response to Todd, everyone knows I'm actually paid once a week in tins of SPAM by David Icke's Lizard People. Whenever I run out of SPAM, I eat Bildercheeseburgers at the local Freemason cafeteria until the Lizard People return...

9/11 hunger artist Blair Gadsby and Republiloon Karen Johnson, pictured conferring outside the offices of U.S. Senator John McCain on hungry4truth.com.

Look, up in the sky. It's a black helicopter. No it's a drone aircraft piloted by a Mossad agent. Bzzzt. Wrong again, false flag-boy, it's TROOFER MAN! And he'll be winging your way late this afternoon, dragging a banner supporting hunger striker and wannabe-PhD candidate Blair Gadsby. Check this mini-news release sent out yesterday by the not-so-great Gadsby's supporters:

Day 11 !!
http://hungry4truth.com/

Google Hunger Strike for 9/11 Truth

Hopefully, it'll be a rent-a-pilot in that Sopwith Camel. The idea of a troofer flying a plane nearby an office building with a presidential candidate's office in it doesn't sit well. Of course, you'd think they'd wait till the next anniversary of 9/11 to pull a real jihad move.

Wonder if the plane will be emitting any poisonous "chemtrails," one of the more popular fantasies of the 9/11 nutbar crowd? No worries. "Chemtrails" are only from jets, right? Jets flown by members of the Freemasons, the Illuminati, and/or David Icke's Lizard People...

Some have suggested that Senator John McCain should offer to meet with the now-bony Blair for like five minutes. To which, I say, HELL NO, DON'T DO IT! If Gadsby was doing a similar hunger strike asking for two hours to prove that there are 40 invisible elves dancing on the head of every needle made, would McCain meet with him? Uh, no. He'd write Gadsby off as a lunatic. This 9/11 hunger hullabaloo is just as wack.

My prediction is that Gadsby will inevitably faint from lack of food, and will have to be rushed to the hospital. Should he expire at some point, the moonhowlin' troofer idgits will blame McCain, and that's when the Secret Service best be watching these nuts closely, lest one go Taxi Driver on McCain's ass.

Never mind that this tard wannabe-PhD is starving himself and must suffer the consequences of his decisions. That is, unless he really is 100 percent Fruit Loops, and needs to be committed for his own safety.

PS: Just saw this hi-larious video posted to the Screw Loose Change Web site. Blair's wife sounds like a real [maybe the b-word was too harsh, so I'll say] witch. Hey, if you don't want the ridicule, lady, don't let your hubby make a freakin' international idiot of himself. It's that simple.

UPDATE: For those following the whole debate begun in my last post, where I referenced wack-job troofer German Talis, I today obtained a copy of the New York D.A.'s complaint against Talis, which you can read for yourselves, here.

Nonviolence my fat ass.

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In light of reports that Mesa fruitcake and state Senator Karen Johnson is lobbying U.S. Senator John McCain to meet with 9/11-denier and starvation artist Blair Gadsby, I'd like to offer McCain a few reasons why he should never, ever bow to the whims of wackos like Gadsby and those who support him.

First off, like most extremists, the troofers are potentially violent. They don't like being dismissed or disagreed with -- no matter how deeply insane their views -- and when their nutty, fringe ideas are rightfully belittled, they sometimes make veiled (or not so veiled) threats. Take the following comment on my May 23 post on Mesa Community College religious studies teacher Gadsby. (Sorry, I ain't calling him a prof until he earns a PhD in something.)

Azazel says:
9/11 was an inside job.

FYI: I also beleive [sic] in the 2nd amendment. I hope you know which one that is.

Azazel's poor spelling aside, one would assume that his reference to the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution has little to do with a well-regulated militia. Obviously this faceless kook is implying that he may shoot me if he runs into me. To which, I say, take a number, dumbass, and get in line. I think the right-wing nativists have got dibs, so you may have a bit of a wait.

If you don't buy the tripe the troofers are pushing, are offended by it, and argue vehemently against it, they tend to lose contact with the Mother Ship, and act at least nominally willing to throw down. Could one of these troofers go Taxi Driver, as my pal Pat Curley of the blog Screw Loose Change has speculated might be a possibility? Sure. While I was arguing with these moonbats on Sunday for this week's Bird column on the subject, there were folks present who believed that not only was 9/11 an inside job, so was the Oklahoma City bombing! One balmy biddy assured me that the streaks left by jet aircraft in the sky were actually "chemtrails," expressly intended to poison us all. Yet another dood told me he didn't buy the figure of six million Jews who died in the Holocaust, and on and on.

People who are this delusional might starve themselves to prove a point, like Gadsby. Or they might take a less passive aggressive approach. I'm waiting for the first batty self-barbecuer to douse himself in four-dollar-a-gallon gasoline and light a match. Or perhaps even go a step further, and pull his or her imitation of a suicide bomber. Sure, most troofers are not this far gone. But all it would take is one, lone nut determined to become a martyr-warrior for the cause.

Another reason for McCain to ignore the troofers: The deep strain of anti-Semitism that runs through the 9/11 troof crowd, despite those in the movement who are themselves Jewish. One of the very first 9/11 conspiracies held that Jews in New York got a tip-off from the Mossad that 9/11 was about to go down. Lies about Larry Silverstein, leaseholder of the World Trade Center property at the time of the attacks, seem specifically designed to imply a Henry Ford-like view of World Jewry poised to undermine America. Similar theories abound about "neocons," which the troofers sometimes seem to be using as code for "Jews."

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Nativist poster-boy, judge-hater and alleged public urinator Buffalo Rick Galeener.

Can Sand Land nativists get any more blatant in their contempt for the rule of law, particularly when federal judges are involved? Take the following odious scribblings from "Buffalo Rick" on erstwhile KIA-dealer Rusty Childress' anti-Hispanic Web site immigrationbuzz.com. Since Buffalo Rick Galeener's personal site is linked to from his handle, and since Galeener is essentially Childress' second in command at the hate group United for a Sovereign America, it's a safe bet "Buffalo Rick" is in fact Buffalo Rick Galeener, the same brain surgeon who's currently facing charges of public urination, where it's alleged he made water in the sight of a Hispanic lady and her little boy. I take care in identifying him here because I suspect that this post on immigrationbuzz.com may come down and its existence denied once someone with a lick of sense takes a look at it:

Buffalo Rick Says:
June 3rd, 2008 at 5:07 am
Does this leave cleaning up CC to citizens? We did it before, we can do it again.

Nothing is to “good” for this traitorous judge. Remember her name when it comes time to mark an X.

Judge Silver recently issued a temporary order blocking Cave Creek's anti-day laborer ordinance because it's unconstitutional. Obviously, ol' Rick wishes Judge Silver harm, even if he won't be the one causing that harm. It's the last line where I see him potentially stepping over the line. The sentence "Nothing is to [sic] `good' for this traitorous judge," seems to imply a threat, but perhaps Galeener did not mean it that way.

Also, what's up with "Remember her name when it comes time to mark an X"? Silver was nominated to the bench by President Clinton in 1994. She was confirmed by the U.S. Senate that same year. Does Buffalo think U.S. District Judges are voted on by the public somehow? Is he that dumb? Or does he mean to suggest something else here?

FYI, Buffa-load, here's a handy little explanation from the U.S. Courts for the 9th Circuit:

"Judges serving on the circuit and district courts are known as Article III judges, a reference to the article in the United States Constitution establishing the federal judiciary. Article III judges are nominated by the President, confirmed by the Senate and serve for life."

No charge for the education, Buffaluffalus. Assuming you can read all them big words...

One can only imagine the hay nativists would make out of a similar statement made by someone in what they call the "open borders crowd." You'd think, being that Galeener is facing possible jail time in the public urination case, that the idiot would keep his grizzled pie-hole shut. But the Gabby Hayes-lookalike just can't help himself.

Note to the nativist idgits who manage the immigrationbuzz.com Web site: Don't bother taking the comment from Buffalo down or modifying it. I've already got a screenshot. And if you take it down, I will publish it and give proof of what you have to hide. In any case, with Google cache, it won't go away as quickly as you'll now want.