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First piece on the Grant Ave. side of Miranda's.

Let's hear it for serendipity. I was going stir-crazy Sunday, researching the cover story I'm working on now, so I took a ride to ease my nerves and just so happened upon one of the dopest legal walls I've ever seen in town. The graff pictured here is on a wall that rings Miranda's Custom Cars, at 706 S Central Ave., on Central and Grant. The graff starts on Grant, then wraps around the lot down First Ave. As you can see, this is some sick-ass shit, done by artists with serious skills. I called owner Luis Miranda on Monday, and he told me that the graff is fresh, done on a recent Saturday by a crew of about 20. He says he was approached by someone in the downtown arts comunity who set it up. Initially, the city wanted to buff it. You know, paint over it. But when Miranda told them he approved of the artwork, they let it stay.

For those fart-lovin' fogies out there who think all graffiti is blight, this artwork is certainly a hell of a lot more colorful and appealing to the eye than blank walls. Indeed, it reminded me -- on a smaller scale of course -- of LA's legendary Belmont Tunnel (which I hear has been torn down since I left El Lay). Kudos to Mr. Miranda, the artists, and, well, the city for the al fresco art gallery. Now get your asses down there people and appreciate. Below are some samples of what's up. We've got a killer Slide Show up on the graff as well, here.

Is that Jason? Fuckin' A...

Check out that alien. Detail below.

Reminds me of that Kool Keith/Dr. Octagon song "Aliens"...

Detail of penguin below.

Penguins rock.

I wanna get this one done in my study. Sweet.

The kids are alright: Give 'em hell, El Break...

I was heartened over the weekend to learn of the hunger strike starting today by these college students who have a radio show on 1190 AM called El Break. According to the press release, they'll be parked outside of Congressman Ed Pastor's Phoenix office for a week in support of the DREAM Act, which would give children of illegal alien parents a path to citizenship, and reverse the effects of AZ's Prop 300, which denies these kids access to in-state tuition. The press release in part reads:

In Arizona, Proposition 300 has obligated undocumented students to pay out-of-state tuition – three times as much as locals – causing many dedicated students to put their higher education on hold. Also concerning is a law Governor Napolitano recently signed penalizing employers who hire undocumented workers, which is yet another burden on the families of these students.

The Youth Strike demands that Ed Pastor, and all Congressmen and congresswomen from the state of Arizona, work on a solution to allow undocumented students to continue their higher education with the same opportunities that other hardworking students have in this state. Not only will this benefit the quality of life for thousands of students, but will also help the state of Arizona to develop a strong, educated constituency.

As I'm on deadline for another story, I don't know that I'll make it down there till tomorrow or the day after. Spokesman Evan Storey told me that the protesters are encouraging people to either join the hunger strike, or give up something they enjoy, like watching TV, eating chocolate, whatever, in a Lent-like action to support the effort, all while wearing a symbolic green ribbon.

Given my circumference, I personally could benefit from a hunger strike. But I may have to do something less drastic, like, give up porn for a week. Wait a sec, a whole week? Uh, let's just say I'll be with the El Break crew in spirit.

Kidding aside, Storey told me that the group got the idea from a similar action in California. I'm hoping that it will be the beginning of weekly, sustained protests by various Hispanic groups in AZ as we get closer to the Super Bowl coming to town. There has already been talk of work-stoppages and boycotts, and the notion of such activism is starting to scare whitey. Last week, questioned about a possible Super Bowl boycott, Gov. Napolitano said Hispanics should register and vote instead of protesting. Well, except for those who can't vote because of their status, right?

The Super Bowl is seen as a huge, sacred cash cow by the political and business power structure. Personally, I hope activists in the Valley will put that cow on the barbie and grill it up for dinner. The lead-up to the statewide tailgate party will be the perfect time for people to take to the streets, make their voices heard, and expose Sand Land's racism to the light of day. If you don't like it, Guv, tough shit. It's going to happen. It's all protected under the First Amendment, and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.

Mayor of the nation's fifth-largest city, major league doofus, or both? Let's go to the videotape.

Anyone out there who doesn't think PHX Mayor Phil "Goober" Gordon is icompetent should take a look at this video from a 7/21 interview ABC 15's Lisa Fletcher did with Goober, following the airing of Fletcher's blockbuster report on lax overnight security at PHX's Sky Harbor Airport. Despite footage of workers at Sky Harbor just flashing their security badges and walking past the rent-a-cop on duty with unchecked bags and packages, Goober tries to defend security at the airport, engages in a puerile back-and-forth with a reporter who evidently has her facts straight, and then finally blames any security failures on the Transportation Security Administration. Contrast this with the TSA, which when they learned of this Holland Tunnel-sized hole in Sky Harbor's security, acted quickly to put TSA personnel on those checkpoints round-the-clock.

The intelligent thing for Phil to have done, as a politician and putative leader, would have been to say, "This is outrageous, we need to look into this immediately." But just as he did when he was confronted with Phoenix's troublesome crime ranking as the 59th most dangerous city in the nation, he pooh-poohed the notion that there was a security concern he might have to get off his ass and do something about. This, while insisting that public safety is his top concern as mayor. A real load of crap, BTW.

Throughout the interview Gordon is as petulant as a know-it-all school kid. Check this childish little exchange between Goober and Fletcher, who to her credit stays on Goober like white on rice. It takes place about half way through the interview:

Goober: Every employee 24-hours a day is screened.

Goober: There are measures in place that secure that airport 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, whether TSA is manning the machines or not.

So basically, Goober would have done NOTHING to rectify the situation if left to his own doltish devices. What a blithering idiot! And people wonder why I can't stand the guy and want him to lose in his bid for reelection. Could 20-year-old Jarrett Maupin do a better job? Yes. Could Republican Steve Lory do a better job? Yes. Could Bozo the Freakin' Clown do a better job? Uh, yeah. Hell, write in your cousin's name for mayor, if you have to. A vote for Phil Gordon is a vote for four more years of Goober's incompetence, unless you like having a mook as your mayor. I don't.

Damnit, Manet, won't you ever come out?

Just watched a late night repeat of the Friday journalist roundtable on AZ PBS Horizon (you guessed it, there was nothing else on), with Howie Fischer hosting and making sure to hit everything he wrote about this week for Capitol Media Services. One of the issues on the table, Janet "Manet" Napolitano's criticism of the military's policy of "don't ask, don't tell," which Manet supposedly has a right to bitch about because she commands the Arizona National Guard.

Though Manet wasn't on set, you'd think she'd just showed up and squeezed out a smelly but deadly air biscuit. Why? Because, of course, Napolitano is the living epitome of "don't ask, don't tell." That is to say, most journalists don't ask, and whenever someone does, she doesn't tell. Or at least hasn't told in quite a while. She was asked point-blank years ago when she was running for Governor the first time 'round, and she claimed she wasn't a lesbian, though you'd have to be pretty friggin' gullible to swallow that bag of Cheetos whole.

Last year, I attended one of Manet's usual Wednesday press conferences and asked if her Clintonesque stance on the gay-marriage ban Prop 107 was hypocritical considering that most people in Arizona assume she's a closeted lesbian. (She was against the Prop., which eventually failed, but claimed to also be against gay marriage.) Stunned that anyone had the temerity to pose the query on the eve of her landslide election, she replied, in disbelief, ""No. No, and I'm offended by that question."

"Offended"? What's the matter with being gay, or with gay people marrying, for that matter? Doesn't bother me. But apparently it bothers Nappy, and maybe that's why she hasn't come out yet, even though I've argued that she has more than enough political capital to emerge from the cupboard. I also think it's hypocritical as hell for her to stake out these fence-riding positions on gay-issues, when, if given her druthers, she'd likely adopt a far different stance.

For the time being, who does she think she's foolin'? Maybe middle-aged news hound Howie Fischer, who writes, seemingly without a clue, that this past Wednesday Manet "stopped short of saying [the policy] should be repealed — and that gays who are not `closeted' should be allowed to serve."

Howie then dutifully reports,

"To me, you ought to be focused on, 'Are the people there and are they doing their job?'" Janet said. "And don't ask/don't tell, to me, that doesn't tell you that." Instead, she said the focus should be on ensuring soldiers can do their jobs.

Isn't it obvious that the woman is so compromised by her not-so-hidden (wink-wink) sexuality that she can't even take a stand when her conscience tells her she should? If Manet was flyin' the rainbow flag, I doubt she would have "stopped short" of calling for the repeal of don't ask, don't tell.

It's sad. Take the July 4 incident recently where our openly gay music editor Niki D'Andrea got her groove on with the Guv. Though there have been rumors in the past, you wonder if Manet gets to have a private life, a girlfriend, or a long-time companion. What annoys me, though, is how disingenous the whole situation is, with doods like Howie avoiding the issue altogether, and with Manet counting on Howie and other journalists not to go there.

What do Communist China, present-day Iran, and Maricopa County have in common? In all three places you can get arrested for doing your job as a reporter. That's the message from MCSO spokesperson Captain Paul Chagolla, one of Joe Arpaio's top lackeys, who gets a kick out of bullying journos who don't kiss Arpaio's wrinkled tuchus. Chagolla has strongly suggested that I will be arrested if I show up to MCSO offices to pick up certain public records once the MCSO has copies of them ready. The e-mail exchange below outlines Chagolla's threat. I figured since Chagolla cc'd everyone on his media e-mail list during the exchange, I might as well get a blog post out of it, and show everyone not in the local media that Chagolla, as he reveals here in his own words, is a massive, unrepentant tool.

This recent spate of verbal jousting began when I e-mailed Chagolla two questions, listed below. Chagolla rationalizes his reaction by stating that there's litigation ongoing between New Times and the MCSO over public records, and because the MCSO has instigated a bogus criminal investigation of New Times , since a couple of years back former New Times-er John Dougherty revealed Arpaio's home address in one of his columns. It's a long story, which you can read more about in my 12/21 piece, "Joe Strikes Back." Maricopa County Attorney Andy Thomas kicked the complaint over to Pinal County because of a conflict of interest. Last I heard, it's going nowhere. Arpaio's address is all over the Internet, which makes the complaint one of the most asinine ever in the history of Arpaio's office. And that's, um, really asinine.

Chagolla has used this lame excuse of a "criminal investigation" of New Times and the lawsuit over docs to ignore New Times, keep us out of their press conferences, etc. But because the MCSO has recently and very publicly requested travel docs from the City Phoenix as part of some trumped up corruption probe, they had to at least pay lip service when I announced in a previous column that I was asking for the same sort of docs from the MCSO. I was told the docs I'd asked for could be reviewed at the offices of the MCSO's private lawyer, and that I could request copies, which a "runner" could then retrieve from MCSO HQ. Chagolla warned that dire legal consequences would ensue if I came by to pick up the docs myself: presumably, that I'd be arrested. I'm going in soon to take a look at these docs, and will certainly request copies. We'll see how it plays out from there.

The folks who hate my guts for one reason or another will cheer the opportunity to see me in cuffs, even if there are no grounds for the arrest. Yet I suspect even those reporters (and there aren't many) who are Arpaio fans will feel a chill run up their spines at the news, which may be what Arpaio and Chagolla ultimately want. Outrage is hard to come by in this Valley, but Chagolla is widely despised by journalists for the way he treats them, for his colossal arrogance, his petty bullying, and his brick-wall tactics. Hopefully, there will be some indignation when he and the MCSO pull a move more akin to the KGB in Soviet Russia, than of the land of the free and the home of the brave. The e-mail exchange follows.

More

Schmidt with Joe Arpaio's former spleen victim Jefferson Davis McGee...

Hey if Germany can't keep TomKat out of the country, as much as they dislike Scientologists, do you really think it's smart to try to hustle Cruise? The latest from the AP says the Valley's not-so-beloved Sultan of Sleaze, David Hans Schmidt, defender of Jefferson Davis McGee's Arpaio-appropriated spleen and purported peddler of Paris Hilton's used sex toys (oooh), is under arrest on a $100,000 bond for allegedly trying to extort cash from Tom Cruise for some snaps of his wedding to Katie Holmes in Italy. Check it out:

LOS ANGELES -- An Arizona man known for delivering compromising celebrity photos to a titillated public has been arrested after an alleged shakedown plot against Tom Cruise.

The actor's lawyer, Bertram Fields, alleges David Hans Schmidt, 47, demanded more than $1 million to not publish stolen photographs from the actor's 2006 wedding to Katie Holmes in Italy.

Beyond me why anyone would give a shit about looking at Cruise's wedding pics, or why the FBI, which collared Schmidt, isn't out chasing terrorists or jacking off in a Tucson toilet, but that's just the crazy, effed-up world we live in. What, was Cruise wiping the wedding cake all over Holmes nekkid, postpartum bod? (So hot.) That's about the only reason I'd give a flying eff.

New Times has written about Schmidt so many times the gag factor nearly sets in when I see his name in print. Still, if the guy wasn't making the AP every year or so with something like this, I doubt the folks in Hollywood would know where AZ is. They probably still don't know, but at least they hear about it from time to time, all because of Sand Land booster Schmidt.

Ice-cream peddler, alleged studmuffin, and former Congressman Gary Condit...

You've gotta wonder what was going through former Congressman Gary Condit's noggin. I mean, most folks'd packed the whole sad, tawdry Chandra Levy affair deep into their mental basements, and had no idea that Condit now lives in AZ. So reporter Linda Bentley has a throwaway line about Condit in an article about his goofball brother that appears in the small but scrappy Sonoran News, and Condit decides to sue for defamation of character?

Don't know what Condit thought would happen when he pulled this bonehead move a year after the original article appeared in the freebie pub in 2005, but on July 17 Maricopa County Superior Court Judge Kristin Hoffman rightly kicked this bogus lawsuit out of court with the observation that "Substantial truth is an absolute defense in a defamation case." The result of the suit made the wire and has resulted in articles re-digging up Chandra Levy's corpse from DC's Rock Creek Park.

Keep in mind, this is the sentence Condit objected to: "Darryll Wayne Condit is the younger brother of former Democratic Congressman Gary Condit, who became the main focus in the Chandra Levy case in 2001, after lying to investigators about his affair with Levy." Hey, I don't know what the Sonoran News' readership is, but I think the Cave Creek weekly owes Condit something for the buttload of free advertising and new readership they've earned from this. Maybe a gift certificate to Baskin Robbins?

(I hate to explain a joke, but according to Wikipedia.org, "In February 2005, [Condit] started two Baskin Robbins ice cream shop franchises with his wife and children in Glendale, Arizona. In March 2006, Baskin Robbins revoked the franchising agreement, claiming the Condits owed them $14,221.29. Among the corporation's complaints was that the Condits continued to use the Baskin Robbins name after the franchises were revoked.")

Judge Hoffman's ruling also states that, "Plaintiff has not provided any admissible evidence from which a reasonable jury could conclude that the sentence as published was not substantially true. His affidavit submitted with his request for Rule 56 (f) relief does not deny that he lied to investigators. He objected to and did not admit or deny interrogatories regarding whether he admitted to investigators or denied to investigators that he had a “romantic and/or sexual relationship with Chandra Levy.'”

Victory is rarely so sweet. Obviously, my politics are the polar opposite of the Sonoran News, but I give them major props for going after Sheriff Joe Arpaio on a regular basis and for standing up to Condit on this bullshit. And though Linda Bentley and I continue to argue up a storm on the subject of immigration, I admire the lady's moxie on other fronts. If I wore a hat, it'd be off.

Maupin, battling to get back on the ballot.

Here's an update on yesterday's post regarding the news that PHX City Clerk Mario Paniagua is not certifying mayoral hopeful Jarrett Maupin for the 9/11/07 ballot because Maupin's 91 signatures short of the 1500 valid sigs needed. The amount of effort Gordon's campaign has placed into challenging Maupin's signatures, line by line, recalls in microcosm the hanging chad debacle of the 2000 Presidential election. It's certainly a testament to the Gordon campaign's determination to keep Maupin off the ballot, thus neutralizing the potential embarrassment of an incumbent mayor with $1 million in his campaign coffers losing to a 20-year-old, or coming anywhere close to losing to a 20-year-old.

Yesterday, I was under the impression that Maupin had turned in his signatures this past Friday. Actually he turned in his 3,921 signatures Friday, July 13, shortly before Paniagua's office closed for the weekend at 5 p.m., just under deadline. Paniagua told me this morning that Gordon's campaign got hold of the signatures the same day, and had someone in Paniagua's office ready to receive copies after Maupin submitted them. On July 16, that Monday, Gordon's campaign submitted a detailed petition analysis to the City Clerk, alleging numerous irregularities. Tuesday, July 17, Gordon campaign manager Tony Motola faxed a list of Maupin's petition circulators, asserting that about 32 were felons, and thus not eligible to vote or solicit sigs for Maupin's campaign.

From this list, the City Clerk ultimately determined that 9 persons were possibly ex-felons, though some of these individuals were registered to vote, according to Paniagua. (Paniagua says of these 9, those registered to vote have since been removed from the election rolls.) These 9 had solicited over 500 sigs, as I mentioned yesterday, and these were all thrown out because those collecting them were not qualified to do so. Paniagua stated that 184 sigs would otherwise have been considered valid, and so would have put Maupin over the top for his 1500.

Maupin told me this morning that he's meeting with his attorney today, and will challenge the City Clerk's decision in court. He said he's confident he can make up his 91 signature deficit, and promises to be back on the ballot. Ultimately, I think these signature problems Maupin's having are an indication of two things: 1) the fact that his organization is not as experienced or as monied as Phil's, which is a given; and, 2) that Gordon truly fears Maupin's candidacy despite its shoestring budget, its grassrooots nature, and Maupin's youth.

Following Gordon's disastrous endorsement of John McCain, he's still in the doghouse with his fellow Dems. Further proof of this: last night, the Phoenix chapter of the Progressive Democrats of America endorsed Jarrett Maupin for mayor. Talked to their state coordinator Dan O'Neal today. He says even if Maupin is a write-in candidate, the endorsement will in all likelihood stand.

Maupin's down for the moment, but he's not out yet...

The Rev. Jarrett Maupin fell 91 signatures short of the 1,500 necessary to be certified to be on the ballot in the Sept. 11 mayoral election, Phoenix City Clerk Mario Paniagua said today. Maupin turned in 3,920 signatures on Friday, but only 1,409 were valid, according to Paniagua. That's compared with 1,735 valid signatures out of 2,276 submitted by Mayor Phil Gordon's campaign, and 1,759 valid signatures out of 2,895 submitted by Steve Lory's campaign. Currently, only Gordon and Lory have been certified to be on the ballot by Paniagua. Maupin has 10 days to file a court challenge to the City Clerk's finding.

Paniagua listed a number of problems with Maupin's signatures, but stated that the main problem was that nine of Maupin's petition circulators were found to have felony convictions, so all the signatures those individuals collected -- 517 total -- had to be thrown out under law, even though 184 of those would have been found valid otherwise, putting Maupin over the top of the magic 1,500 mark.

The vetting of Maupin's petition circulators was prompted, according to Paniagua, by Mayor Phil Gordon's campaign manager, Tony Motola, who, last Wednesday, challenged 18 people collecting signatures for Maupin. Paniagua further stated that neither Lory's nor Gordon's petition circulators were scrutinized in this manner because there were no such complaints against them.

Maupin said he intended to challenge the finding, saying he found it "highly suspicious" that he was being kept off the ballot, because many consider him to be Gordon's strongest rival in the campaign. "We have 10 days to respond," insisted Maupin. "I'm speaking to my attorney now. Nothing has changed in this race."

Though legal, this latest piece of political skullduggery comes on the heels of Maupin receiving a standing ovation at the Maricopa County Democratic Convention for a speech lambasting Gordon, and a meeting Maupin had with Gordon's deputy chief of staff, Bill Scheel, and State Sen. Leah Landrum Taylor. Maupin characterized the meeting as "an offer" to have him play ball with the system. It's obvious that Gordon wants to keep Maupin off the ballot by any means necessary, perhaps for fear that he'll be upset by an exceptionally gifted 20-year-old.

"I want Phil to come out of hiding and debate me on the issues like a man," stated Maupin. "I want to tell people to keep the faith. I may be a glass of milk with a little bit of shit in it, but Phil's a glass of shit with a little bit of milk in it. And in the end, we will separate the milk from the shit."

If you're irony deficient, here's one to bite on: Damon Ashenfelter, the self-avowed white supremacist who was identified in Friday's post, "Rusty Childress' United for a Sovereign America: A family portrait," has set his MySpace profile to private, and changed his motto from "Hail the Order. Hail the 14 words. R.I.P. David Lane" to "Politically Incorrect and Damn Proud of It." Of course, if he's really that proud of his bigotry, why does he feel the need to hide it from the world?

No problem. I've already made extensive copies of all of his MySpace pages, and I have screen captures as well. And then, there's Google cache, which still has up a version of his website in memory here. Don't know how long Google cache remains in memory, but it is up right now.

Aside from mentioning his employer on the site, he also talks about his boxing matches for Bad Boy Fights, where he's listed as Damon "Beast" Ashenfelter. Looking at the other boxers, many of whom are Latino, one wonders if they'd be down with Damon's racist skinhead views.

The above illo is one Damon had on his Web site, along with another illo of Homer Simpson laced and booted as a skinhead. What no Peter Griffin in a white hood? One thing I will give Damon points for is listing Family Guy as his fave TV show. I can just see it now, "Hey Lois, now that I've joined the Klan, I guess I'm gonna have to lynch Cleveland."

Kudos to Godless over at Arizona Indymedia , who had Damon's number from jump. There are several pics of him patrolling the perimeter of the May Day counterdemonstration. Sometimes you really can tell a book by its cover.

Damon's free to believe whatever stupid shit he wants to believe. I don't care about that as much as pointing out his link to Rusty Childress and Childress' United for a Sovereign America, where he apparently fits right in.

The gang's all here, everyone but Uncle Fester...

Add another white supremacist to the ranks of Kia-peddler Rusty Childress' United for a Sovereign America. A source sent the above photo to me, stating that they got it off Rusty's Web page at http://immigrationbuzz.com/. According to the source, the photo was taken down the day after it was posted to the site. It apparently shows a booth Childress' United for a Sovereign America had at the City of Phoenix's July 4 "Fabulous 4th Event," this year at Steele Indian School Park. I called Childress to confirm he had a booth there, and he hung up on me. However, David Urbinato of the City's Parks and Recreation Dept. confirmed that Childress' U.S.A. rented booth space at the event, at the nonprofit rate of $100 for the day. Folks in the pic are sporting stickers with Childress' U.S.A. logo. Above is a banner with the same U.S.A. illustration on it.

I had our art director blur the faces of anyone I thought might be underage or just happening by. Otherwise you can spot some of the usual suspects: The fat guy in the back strongly resembles a certain two-ton nativist from Mesa we all know; to the far left, the hot MILFy chick is Michelle Dallacroce, Prez of Mothers Against Illegal Aliens; the older, white-haired broad next to her is Stephanie Harris of the same organization; in the middle, there's a smelly, um, buffalo chip in a white anti-illegal Tee; and up front sporting a Billy Goat Gruff beard is Damon Ashenfelter, a regular attendee of anti-immigrant rallies, who espouses white supremacist views on his MySpace page www.myspace.com/securis.

I've seen Ashenfelter twice. The first time was at the May 1 counterdemonstration to the massive pro-immigration rally at the Capitol, where he was sporting the same cap and wearing a T-shirt advertising Buell Fighting Systems, a local mixed martial arts school. The second time was at the June 16 anti-immigrant demo, again at the Capitol.

Damon's MySpace is full of chest-thumping skinhead braggadocio. The 20-year-old Glendale resident states his occupation as a "heathen warrior." For "clubs," he lists the "White Seperatists [sic] Secret Society of angry bald white boys with large boots and bad tempers." He mentions that in high school, "scaring minorities" was one of his extracurricular activities. As his motto, he posts, "Hail the Order. Hail the 14 words. R.I.P. David Lane." Damon claims his weakness is, "The decline of the white race and the downfall of american society by the hands of mongrels and their general thought process." Under "books," he types, "still trying to finish...mein kampf, lords of chaos, norse gods and heroes, george lincoln rockwell - white power, norse mythology, politically correct bedtime stories, oh and i got a bible for jewmas...how convenient was that...thanks folks...*shoots myself*." His "most overused phrase on instant messenger"? "Fucking jews..." In his personal gallery is a snap of he and his fiancee at the neo-Nazi National Vanguard's Winterfest event.

Damon's but one more example of Childress' association with neo-Nazis, white supremacists and white nationalists. Why would any businessman, even one who's inherited his Daddy's business, allow himself to be linked to such individuals? It boggles the mind. Same goes for any political activist, as the presence of neo-Nazis and white power advocates in the ranks would seem to sully your message. Unless, of course, it's the message itself they're drawn to.

BTW, if you magnify the area just behind Michelle Dallacroce's head, you can just make out my name "Stephen Lemons" written in cursive, with an arrow pointing down to a photo of yours truly on the wall. Reckon they expected me at the shin-dig. I'm touched. Next time invite me, guys, and I'll be sure to show.

Terry Goddard's new slogan: A tranny in every bog!

To cop a line from comedienne Margaret Cho: Ah, the magical smell of balls and pantyhose! You best get used to it ladies, if Attorney General Terry Goddard and local diversity activist Michele de LaFreniere have anything to do about it. Goddard's office is investigating a civil rights complaint by the transgendered he/she against Tom Anderson, owner of the Scottsdale club Anderson's Fifth Estate. Readers of my ink-stained cousin The Bird will recall that he first approached this topic back in December of '06 with the column "Tranny-Gate," which detailed the donnybrook between De LaFreniere and her peein'-standing-up pals, and Anderson and his aghast female patrons. Feathered Bastard followed up with three posts, "Tranny Echo," "Tards in Cyberspace," and "Tranny Love."

Although the AG's just in the preliminary stage of this thing, it doesn't surprise me that Goddard's more-politically-correct-than-thou office would take on this issue. Every time I start to like Goddard's office for standing up to Joe Arpaio or doing something else cool, they pull some tres-lefty bullshit like this, such as when they went after the Heart Attack Grill because the burger-palace supposedly demeaned RN's by using servers dressed in naughty nurse attire. Is Goddard's staff full of pinko legal academics with their brains frozen in mid-90s PC-dom? Ya gotta wonder...

Anderson says he turned away De LaFreniere and his/her tranny pals because of complaints from female clientele concerning the bog-activity of De LaFreniere, et al. I suspect if Miss D and her buds had been a bit more discreet, no one would have minded. But according to Anderson, they made a big production out of their presence in the chicks' shitter, peeing standing up, etc. Music editor Niki D'Andrea and I tried to pin De LaFreniere down on whether or not she still had her meat 'n' veg, but she was full of non-denial denials. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, if your tallywacker's been whacked, use the babes' bathroom all you want. But if you're still with schlong, and you wear a dress to a straight, middle-of-the-road club, then basically you've concocted a problem for yourself to which there's no simple solution.

There are clubs in town that cater to trannies, and many gay clubs and some straight clubs even go unisex on their toilets, which is also common in Europe. Thing is, what if you're dealing with a fairly mainstream spot like Anderson's, is it fair to the female clientele to allow dudes dressed like ladies to do their bidness in the women's W.C.?

Remember, now that the AG's office is involved, if they sue on behalf of the state because of De LaFreniere's complaint, whatever goes for Anderson's will also, if upheld in court, ultimately be applied to other clubs and restaurants. And if the state is going to require the private sector to act in a certain way, we can presume that public entities will also have to go unisex, or be required to have a separate bathroom for the "third sex," much in the same way all buildings must have handicapped access these days.

I'll be honest, the more I write about this, the less I care, though there is a legitimate concern about sexual predators dressing up like women to gain entree to the women's banos. I know De LaFreniere wants to be the transgendered Rosa Parks, but I think it's better if individual club owners are allowed to decide what their patrons want in this regard, rather than have the government get involved and enforce some absurd solution.

What if Anderson allows De LaFrienere's posse back into the club with the proviso that they keep it on the down-low in the lavatory? Too late for that now. De LaFreniere is after "justice" for her oppressed minority. It's obvious she wants to set a precedent, and she's reveling in the attention. You know Oprah's people will be calling, if they haven't already. Why, it's the wave of the future, folks. Anyone remember South Park episode #901, "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina," where a plastic surgeon turns Kyle into a black basketball player and Kyle's pop into a dolphin? YouTube has a clip of it here.

Wack-ass graff: Detail from pics of Goober Gordon's HQ (below).

You'd think with a million smackers in the bank, PHX Mayor Phil "Goober" Gordon could keep the ex-tranny bar on Roosevelt he calls a campaign HQ free of urban blight. But as mayoral contender Steve Lory pointed out with a recent e-mail, Goober's political pied-a-terre is a freakin' eyesore, with peeling handbills and all the charm of a hobo hideaway. Even for the arts district, it's a stretch to call Goober's campaign nest "shabby chic." It's just plain shabby. Remember this is the spot the city briefly closed earlier this year (after Goober moved in) for lack of a certificate of occupancy. Sheesh, as bad as it looks now, maybe they should've kept this brick shoebox shuttered.

Also annoying is the scrawl of bad graffiti on the wall facing the street. Now artistic graff I like, mind you. But this graff is like something a toddler would do with a crayon when you're not looking. The tag lacks style. Moreover, its presence is highly ironic considering Phil's anti-graff diatribes in the past, or when he once referred to Phoenix as "an absolute leader in the world in the terms of fighting graffiti." Uh, does anyone know how to spell, "hypocrite," boys and girls?

Below is the full text of Lory's recent e-mail message to his supporters. Also, FYI, here's the PHX Graffiti Hotline # (602) 495-7014, as well as the # for Phil's campaign manager Tony Motola, (602) 258-PHIL, if you feel like giving him an earful. BTW, I drove by the Mayor's office this morning, and nothing's changed since these photos were taken.

Steve Lory's pic of Phil's eyesore digs, from this Wednesday, July 18.

Lory pic #2, from the same date.

1. Savings to Campaign from not having to buy paint to cover Graffiti: $20

Mayor 2007

Sun Tzu, the first Republican?

Back in the 6th Century B.C., renowned Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu wrote in his seminal treatise The Art of War that all warfare is based on deception. One might apply this observation to modern politics, which is war by other means, to paraphrase Clausewitz. The only corollary: just don't get caught with your paw in the cookie jar like Tricky Dick Nixon & his cronies did back in the day.

Oddly, the Mesa Chamber of Commerce didn't inform potential candidates at their free, May 18 Candidate College of this modern corollary to Sun Tzu. Not that they out-and-out told the 20 persons or so present to lie to the public. But at the very least one of their speakers did advise them of various ways of not being completely candid to the press.

The speaker was Mary Jo Vecchiarelli, former Republican State Senate candidate and the ex-wife of Mesa Mayor Keno Hawker. She spoke to attendees on the subject of "Media, Print and Website." In the outline of her remarks, contained in the handbook given to all participants, there's a section labeled "Strategies," wherein Ms. Vecchiarelli informs her audience that they need to,

Learn to speak like:
A patriot.
In glittering generalities
Intentionally vague
Oversimplify complex issues -- buzz
Rationalize
Create red herring issues.
Simple slogans
Stereotyping
Unstated assumptions
Appeal to emotion
The non-denial denial
Ambiguity
Get your message out...spin whenever you can
Spin is a manipulative tactic
Cherry pick issues that appeal to the target likely VOTER group...

...and so on. "Learn to ask for $$$, ask for $$$, get the check, call, visit, e-mail," she lectured her students. When one of them, supposedly a Republican like Vecchiarelli, raised his hand and expressed his reluctance to engage in such activities, Vecchiarelli reportedly replied, "You want to win, don't you?"

More

Buddha by the PHX's El Mac and El Lay's RETNA.

Nice to know the ink-slingers over at New Times' sister paper in L.A. have some taste. I might've thought otherwise had they not - ironically - chosen an image from one of the most talented street artists in the PHX to be the cover shot for a feature on L.A. graffiti. Actually, the image is a collaboration between L.A. artist RETNA and our own El Mac, a giant Buddha at Western and Marathon in La-La Land. Mac did the Buddha. RETNA did the dramatic aura around the deity that looks like stained glass. The article, The Rise of the Seventh Letter by Shelley Leopold, was published Thursday, July 12 in the LA Weekly. It's the story of the so-called "Seventh Letter Crew," perhaps better known as AWR/MSK (Art Work Rebels/Mad Society Kings), which has been able to parlay its serious street cred into lucrative work for the likes of Nike, Adidas, Scion, Boost Mobile, and others.

Door of Love and Hate Tattoo, 322 W. McDowell Rd., PHX, only visible when shop is closed.

El Mac is connected to Seventh Letter mostly through his longtime collaborations with L.A.'s RETNA. Mac was part of SL's "Letters First" show in Barcelona, and LA Weekly features his contribution to this exhibition in the slideshow that accompanies the story. Author Shelley Leopold never mentions El Mac, save to credit him. Mac says he never talked to anyone for the article, and was surprised his piece was picked. Maybe Leopold and the rest at LA Weekly were unaware that this particular "God of Graffiti" hails from and continues to dwell in P-town, though the 28-year-old has been making sounds like he could be moving to Lotus Land in the foreseeable future.

Sleeping beauty: Mac's "Phoenix Goddess" takes up a whole wall, about a block east of Zoe's Kitchen; check the lawn table below for perspective.

"If I was out in L.A. full time, it would be a lot easier to get some of these connections," Mac told me recently. "I've been thinking about it for quite a while now. It's tough because I have really cheap rent out here and I like where I live. I'm doing well, but I just see that I could be doing better, most likely, if I was in a bigger city."

One of Mac's blue girls, just inside the doorway of PHX's Garfield Galleria.

Certainly it's a compliment to have some art director pick your piece over numerous others from the same graff crew. (Seventh Letter is a big-ass posse.) L.A. is one of the major capitals of graffiti in the U.S. So having one of your pieces tapped to rep L.A. graff on the cover of the LA Weekly is huge.

A Holbein drunkard on the corrugated back door of a pawn shop basement on McDowell Rd., PHX.

You do get the feeling that Mac's on the verge. He travels regularly to do walls out of town: L.A., San Fran, Mexico City, and elsewhere. And he recently had a one-man show with a gallery in Montreal. His art is a step above, with references to Italian masters, Hans Holbein, and others. You could envision his work in the Louvre, and yet it's on common brick walls and corrugated steel doors around town. Pictured here are a number of legal walls throughout Phoenix that Mac's done. These are mostly around McDowell and 7th Ave, on the back of or inside buildings. Let's hope he does a few more walls here in his hometown before he one day hightails it to L.A.

A little El Mac political commentary, with Saddam Hussein pictured as a "blood-sucking Mexican," bugbear of the nativists. On 7th Ave., at the PHX shop Curiouser & Curiouser, just down from Mary Coyle's.

To see more of El Mac's work, check his MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/themac , or his Web site at www.elmac.net.