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The last drink pours Saturday...

Phoenix'll be a lot less cool for the next couple of months, and I ain't talkin' about the friggin' heat island. This Saturday, the venerable soul lounge Chez Nous pours its final cocktail after 40-plus years in the drink-slingin' biz. The Chez's been forced out by the imminent arrival of a Tesco supermarket, ushered in by the Gordon Gekkos over at Red Mountain Retail Group.
That's the bad news. The good news is that Chez owner Amina Uben has been able to find another spot for the Chez, one that she's buying so she won't have to go through this crap again. The location? She's keeping that on the down-low for now, honoring the request of that bar's current owner. But she promises the city will only be Chez-less for a couple of months, with the new and improved Chez to open in the early fall.

Festivities begin at noon tomorrow. Uben plans to use up the remainder of the Chez's liquor supply. Every drop must go. I'm definitely planning to make the scene and kiss the bar goodbye. When I was first being offered a job out here in Sand Land, Chez Nous was one of the places the bosses took me by, along with Durant's and other local drinkateria's, to show me Phoenix had class. Hey, it worked. Wonder what they'll show prospective hires now -- the vegetable aisle at Tesco?

Walking into the Chez is like falling through a rabbit hole and landing in some scene right out of Kojak . Even after all this time, Chez Nous retains its '70s feel, its Pam Grier double feature Quentin Tarantino-remake swankocity. The inky blackness. The soulful stylings of Roscoe Taylor on the mic. The faux rock waterfall. The velvet and gold wallpaper. Well, you don't know what you've got till it's gone...Pave paradise and put up a British supermarket (same as our supermarkets, BTW).

If you've never been, go. And if you've been, go for one last elbow-bend. Auld lang syne, and all that. And to say you were there to watch a little history pass. Sic transit...

Counterdemos at the June 16 racist fest: Multiply this by about 300, make it meaner than a junkyard dog, and it'd be just about right to battle assholes like...

...Buffalo Dick.

For the moment, the retard rednecks have won. A vocal, vile, and sometimes violent minority of American citizens -- the worst that this country has to offer -- scuttled the immigration reform package in the Senate by means of sheer rage, hatred, and racism. The mighty trailer trash of Amerikkka has thwarted all attempts at reason and compromise, and now we are left with the same problem as before, with 12 to 20 million human beings forced to live and work in the shadows, despite the fact that they work far harder and for much less than the vast majority of Americans.

A recent Washington Post-ABC News poll showed that "52 percent of Americans said they would support a program giving illegal immigrants the right to stay and work in the United States if they pay a fine and meet other requirements." True, that's a slim margin, but the people who stopped this bill from becoming law, the snaggletoothed, lumpen whacktivists, are but a small fraction of the remainder. At the June 16 rally at the AZ State Capitol against the Senate package, they drew only 300 persons. It was a crowd riddled with skinheads, white supremacists, and Mexican-bashers. The wretched refuse of right-wing America. Extremists so far off the scale that ultra-conservative Sen. Jon Kyl isn't far right enough for them. Indeed, they regard him as a traitor and would've lynched him if they could've laid their grubby paws on him.

Emboldened by yesterday's victory, expect them to ratchet up their drive for ever-more draconian state laws dealing with the undocumented. Racists like state Rep. Russell Pearce will not be satisfied until we live in an environment where white pride rules the day and Mexicans -- both legal and illegal -- cower in fear of arrest and deportation. Pearce is a throwback to the likes of Alabama's Bull Connor, the asshole who turned the fire hoses and attack dogs on blacks in '60s Birmingham. The very fact that a man like Pearce -- who openly embraces white supremacists and forwards neo-Nazi e-mails to his supporters -- wields such power in the AZ state legislature, is an embarrassment for all Arizonans.

The situation demands a louder and larger reaction from those of us who value human rights and justice. For the recent demonstration at the Capitol, for instance, there should have been twice as many counterdemonstrators as demonstrators, encircling that nasty nub of nativism, and drowning it out with chants and cries. We must hold responsible mainstream politicians who buddy-up to white supremacists and rationalize their involvement with them. And though the peacefulness of past pro-immigration rallies is a testament to those who participated in them, we have to face facts: Perhaps they were too peaceful, despite their numbers. There needs to be more anger coupled with out-and-out civil disobedience. Otherwise, the white trash rabble will continue to triumph.

Not that I'm advocating violence, but it does kinda remind me of this exchange from Woody Allen's Manhattan:

Isaac Davis (Woody Allen): Has anybody read that Nazis are gonna march in New Jersey? Y'know, I read this in the newspaper. We should go down there, get some guys together, y'know, get some bricks and baseball bats and really explain things to them.

Isaac Davis: Well, a satirical piece in the Times is one thing, but bricks and baseball bats really gets right to the point.

BFF? J.T. Ready and Russell Pearce arm-in-arm, from the white nationalist White Knights of America Web site.

The degree to which vile extremist organizations and individuals are welcomed into the fold of Arizona's anti-immigration movement never ceases to amaze me. In other states, sharing a stage with a white supremacist would be a source of chagrin and serious regret. But here in AZ, among the nativists, it's shrugged off with a "So what?" at best. At worst, it's a source of pride and defiance.

Like you needed another example of this incestuous relationship after what I wrote about J.T. Ready's speech at the June 16 anti-immigrant rally, but I just ran across a report on the June 16 demo at the AZ Capitol on the Web site of Tonopah's White Knights of America, a white nationalist group, which shares a similarity in name with Mississippi's murderous White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, once one of the most violent Klan groups in America.

Judging from the pics of themselves they've posted, WKOA members don't seem to don white hoods and burn crosses. However, WKOA does define itself as racist, homophobic and anti-Semitic. Supremacist-terrorist David Lane's infamous 14 words are quoted several times on the group's home page, and the site's propaganda denounces "Zionists," gays, and miscegenation, while touting the virtues of white pride:

"The White Knights of America is a growing White Nationalist organization dedicated to White Racial survival through the resurrection of Pride in our Heritage and culture: Pride, Honor, Devotion, and Loyalty to our women Folk and communitites-at-large [sic]."

Further down on the same page, the language is even more direct:

"We especially oppose homosexuality and liberalism! Only through Racial Honor can we reclaim our People and pull ourselves up...out of the mud!!"

Then there's the anti-Mexican stuff:

"WE SEEK A RETURN TO THE AUTHENTIC AMERICAN NATION!! Today, America is no longer a Nation, but, rather, a multi-corporate, capitalist empire ran by international money-men. It is a Tower of Babylon waiting to crumble and desintegrate [sic]. We want a White American Nation after the tower crumbles and we will fight for National sovereignty and a new social order. We fight against the Mexicanization of America and the treacherous Republican/Democratic politicians and corporations."

WKOA's report and photos of the June 16 anti-immigrant fest further illustrate the unity between wannabe cross-burners and plain ol' Know Nothings of the Russell Pearce/Rusty Childress stripe. Rusty took the stage that day at one point, which I didn't realize until seeing his photo on the WKOA page. Republican State Rep. John Kavanagh also spoke, it seems, and that's another disappointment, right up there with PHX Mayoral hopeful Steve Lory being present. (I mentioned Lory being there in a previous post, but missed Kavanagh's address.) The presence of moderate conservative politicians in a demo that included white supremacists and neo-Nazis helps mainstream these extremists. I can only hope Kavanagh and Lory will not be a part of such events in the future.

The info. on the WKOA site tries to make the whole thing sound like some big interracial picnic: "As you will notice in the photos, not all present at the rally were White...all the races were represented; black, Mexican, Indian and oriental." Oriental? The proper term is "Asian," dumbass. There was only one black person present that I saw, my pal Fronzo West, aka "The Fonz," repping his organization FTP, "Fuck the Police." Fonz was there silently videotaping the event, as he does almost all events that occur downtown. In fact, when Buffalo Rick made his offhand comment on stage about lynching me, Fonz told me later that, "If they were going to get you, I figured I was next!"

Throughout the day, Fonz told me the crowd tried to intimidate him, and one person purposefully stepped on his hand as he was sitting down. The rednecks present wanted to provoke something with Fonz, just as they wanted to provoke something with me. Now these idiot ofays are trying to pass this off as multiculturalism? Hah! The event was about 98% white even counting the Fonz. Yeah, Anna Gaines was there, who's Hispanic. And there was a tiny handful of other Hispanics present, but we're talking about maybe 6 or so out of a crowd of a few hundred Anglos.

The WKOA photo gallery from that day features smiling images of Russell Pearce with J.T. Ready, and J.T. Ready with the editor of WKOA's newsletter Excalibur. Yeah, they had a regular lil' racist daisy-chain going on there. This demo really required a larger group of more vocal counterdemonstrators. Props to the few that were there, but there needs to be a stronger response. You know, like the sort of reception neo-Nazis get in places like New York or Chicago. Otherwise, there's no stigma to kickin' it with the KKK, which seems to be the case in AZ at the moment.

(PS: Some have suggested the fat guy in WKOA's "family" pics might be J.T. Ready. But, heh, I can attest to the fact that all of us fat boys look alike; i.e., we're all round. Plus, the individual is standing in the back and it's hard to see his face, so I can't form an opinion on that one.)

Sending out an SOS...?

Everyone knows Phoenix is a sucky town for graffiti. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. Not to say there aren't some really talented writers, taggers, piecers and straight-up artists out there. The Mac comes to mind on the mural/street-art tip, though I think he just does legal walls in-town. He's a truly awesome artist. But what about the taggers, the bombers? Where did they get to? The PHX could use more graff, not less. And more quality graff at that.

In L.A., NYC, San Fran, even San Diego, street artists are kings and queens, legends who still get up even when they make the transition to showing work in galleries and getting paid. Here in P-town, there's less respect for it as an urban art form. The city and state are always denouncing graff, passing ever stricter statutes and ordinances to crack down on the "vandals" who practice it. Walls in the Zona seem to get buffed with maniacal regularity. What goes up rarely stays up for long. The result is that the most talented take it out of town. We're left with the work of "toys," graff novices who lack skill.

Occasionally, something fresh, or relatively so, seeps through. I've seen the work of the above artist on everything from huge, fuchsia trash bins, to abandoned buildings. There are always these fat, white bubble-letters. This one seems to say SOS, but I can't be sure. Nor am I sure if this writer always rocks the same three letters. I spied this in the window of an abandoned eatery on Camelback Road. The last time I observed a similar piece was on the side of a piano store about to be torn down, located at Camelback and 20th.

I'm not saying the dood's a genius or anything. But as far as I'm concerned, this artist is helping to ameliorate the urban blight created by this city's mania for mindlessly building and rebuilding. Take downtown PHX, for instance. It looks like shit and that's called "progress," progress foisted upon us by our not-so august city fathers. The only blow being struck against such officially sanctioned blight is graffiti, a form of art that stretches back to man's prehistory.

Cities with great art scenes have an overabundance of graff, graff that often crosses over to fine art galleries. Some of the great artists that have come from the streets include Keith Haring, Basquiat, Shepard Fairey, Banksy, Barry McGee (aka, Twist), Fafi, and many, many others. No art historian worth his or her salt would deny the importance and influence of street art, stenciling, and graff these days. Go to any mainstream bookstore or library, and you're likely to find a shelf of books on the subject. There are tons of graff mags, and art pubs like Juxtapoz regularly feature the work of graff artists.

Yeah, it's against the law. But so is running a red light. I wouldn't condone the destruction of someone's home or private car, but then neither would most true graff artists.

If anyone out there has a tip on some cool graff, send me a line at Stephen.Lemons@newtimes.com and I'll do my best to document it before it gets buffed. Ya never know, the next Basquiat might be out there somewhere.

AZ's anti-immigrant Erma Bombeck...

Maybe the AZ Repugnant's soccer-momish columnist Laurie Roberts isn't a Hispanic-hatin' hausfrau, but she sure sounds like one sometimes. Take Lame-o Laurie's latest screed, her June 23rd opinion piece titled "Another victim of uncontrolled border," in which she blames a death by DUI on the lack of security at AZ's border with Mexico. The DUI-er in question was -- you guessed it -- a, ahem, wasted wetback: That’s her subtext, anyway. It's a term Roberts all but uses.

“They’re coming and we can’t do a thing about it,” cries Roberts, putting her specious spin on a quote from ICE spokesman Vinnie Picard. Roberts continues, stating that we need to “find a way finally to get control of the border,” in order to stop sauce-induced slayings by boozy border-jumpers.

If there's a circle of hell devoted to the sin of obviousness, the potato-faced Roberts belongs in it. To be fair, she has a thing for DUIs in general. One of her other pet issues is how illegal immigrants cause crime. So when these two issues intersect, she goes off the deep end. She's also a vocal supporter of Prop 100, the now-law that seeks to deny bail for those in the country illegally, and she sings the County Attorney's line on that one. She practically writes like a flack for Thomas these days. Maybe she's shooting to be the female Lou Dobbs. She already looks like Dobbs with longer hair.

There's a certain gossamer-veiled bigotry going on in Roberts' columns. Reading between the lines, she panders to extremists in the already-extreme anti-immigration movement. And that seems to be hunky-dory with her bosses. Now that I've said that, I'm sure that if she responds she'll try to pull some Hispanic BFF or relative out of her closet.

That wouldn't prove anything, of course. County Attorney Candy Thomas is an excellent example: his wife's Hispanic, so presumably his four kids are half-Hispanic. Doesn't stop him from trying to do the same thing to the undocumented that he's done to his spouse at least four times.

I've noted Roberts' subliminal bigotry before. Take her May 3 column on baby-abandonment, where she mentions a newborn dropped off at a specially-made drawer at Banner Thunderbird. She takes pains to note that, "Inside was a blond-haired, blue-eyed baby boy." Christ, Laurie, why not just call the bambino a lil' Aryan bundle of joy?

Or there's her March 7 column where she breathlessly denounces pols of both parties for having blood on their hands, as all these Mexican killers are getting through our porous border and murderin' Americans because our leaders haven't solved the immigration issue. Sometimes, to read Roberts' diatribes, you'd think everyone who commits a crime in AZ looks like Cheech Marin or Pancho Villa, take your pick.

Hey, what can you expect from a middlebrow who writes of herself, "I also look forward to that quiet half-hour in the morning when I can read the newspaper over my Special K and ease into the day." Can someone get this alter kocker a laxative? I think she has another column to squeeze out.

Hartley (right) and I at Saturday's prejudice party, pic from Arizona.indymedia.org .

A few tidbits more about last Saturday's bigot bash at the AZ Capitol. At the very end, I got into what you might call a spirited discussion with the master of ceremonies, this dood Todd "Twinkle Toes" Hartley, editor and chief bottle washer over at PHXnews.com. Someone at Arizona.indymedia.org posted the pic above, which shows Hartley et moi talking with the caption, "It was a verbal fight, but almost turned physical." I don't think it was that bad. Sure, it wasn't the college debate club. It was an argument, and I enjoyed it, as I enjoy most arguments.

Basically, I just wanted to ask the twerpy, mandal-wearin' Hartley if he had any qualms about introducing white supremacist J.T. Ready along with all the other speakers. Hartley pulled out his tape recorder, taping me as I taped him. Then he informed me that he had just been asked that week to emcee, and that he hosted "the most listened to immigration podcast on the Web." (Dare to dream!) That's when I asked my J.T. Ready question.

"Today’s the first time I ever met him," he replied. "I’m given a nice list of people to introduce. I’m sure that if I spent time, and God knows I could, I might be able to find stuff on you. And if not a direct link, some kind of connection."

Connection to what -- white supremacy? Riiight. I'd stay away from those car exhaust fumes if I were you, Toddy. That shit kills brain cells.

Anyhoo, his response seems to acknowledge that Ready has an unsavory history, and implies that Hartley doesn't much care if the guy is a white supremacist. All he was doing was introducing folks, right? So I asked the following and it went downhill from there:

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Yuk it up: Our clown of a constable just cost us another $2 mil.

Hear the giant sucking sound? That's another $2 million being drained from Maricopa County's tax coffers on behalf of those who've perished in Sheriff Joe Arpaio's gulags. Today the MC Board of Supervisors finally released details of the settlement agreement between the parents and children of Clint Yarbrough, who suffocated to death in one of Uncle Joe's notorious restraint chairs in December 2005, while being held prisoner in the Fourth Avenue Jail.

Take a look at the actual settlement document which indicates signings back in April. While Joe's been pinning badges on Spiderman and lusting after Paris Hilton, this agreement's been kept hidden from the citizenry, who ultimately have to foot the bill for the incompetence and brutality of the Sheriff's regime.

Last month, Arpaio was practically dancing a jig over the grave of Phillip Wilson, who was beaten into a coma in 2003 by Aryan Brotherhood members while in Tent City on a parole violation. Wilson never awoke from that coma, becoming yet another of Joe's many victims.

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Bosom bigot buddies: J.T. Ready (in suit) and Rep. Russell Pearce (in flag shirt) work the crowd together.

Like you needed more proof that AZ's nativist movement is riddled with racists, rednecks, and raving wing-nuts, the anti-immigrant protest at the state capitol this Saturday (6/16) featured a rabble-rousing speech by none other than the Ernst Roehm of the East Valley, the Martin Bormann of Mesa, everyone's favorite fat-boy fascist, J.T. Ready.

Yep, despite the fact that Ready's been outed by the Anti-Defamation League, and my print cohort The Bird as a white supremacist who's kept a page on the neo-Nazi Web site Newsaxon.com (now Newsaxon.org), a racist MySpace "for whites by whites"; despite the fact that Ready reportedly attended last year's Winterfest event in Phoenix hosted by the neo-Nazi National Vanguard; and though Ready's posted white supremacist messages on my blog and others; he was welcomed, cheered and embraced Saturday by a crowd of 300 or so on the capitol lawn, a crowd angered whenever the term "racist" was raised in regards to their movement.

His massive frame shoved sausage-like into a dark suit, the former Mesa City Council candidate palled around with good friend state Rep. Russell Pearce both before and after Ready spoke during the five-hour prejudice powwow. On the podium, Ready was easily the most popular speaker that day, aside, perhaps, from the Yosemite Sam-like Buffalo Rick, a gimpy, grumpy ol' coot who every day looks more and more like he, in the words of the classic SNL skit, "lives in a van, down by the river." Yeah, Rick may not in actuality be a crazy homeless man, but believe me, he could pass. (More on Rick's antics at the shindig in a moment.)

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Come on baby, light my fire: Burlesque Baroness Pyra Sutra at burn nightclub. See more babeage on parade in this Scandalesque slideshow.

Starry, starry night. Not the sappy Don McLean tune of yore. Starry night's what they call the shots I've been pounding at downtown's new burn nightclub: a mix of Goldschlager and Jagermeister. It's as if a golden-throated whore spat her cinnamon-flavored saliva down my esophagus. They say Goldschlager's gold flakes are somehow salubrious. I hope so. I've already had about six of these things, with vodka chasers.

Writhing on the floor before me is the inimitable Pyra Sutra of the PHX burlesque troupe Scandalesque, her booful new bazooms bouncing free of any restraint. Said she paid a mint for 'em. Looks like it. They're firm, well-shaped, but with enough jiggle to allow for the illusion they're real. Works of art you'd give good money to caress. Alas, Pyra ain't that kind of gal, but you do get to eyeball those flesh puppies a couple of times during Scandalesque's Wednesday eve at burn. During one segment Pyra's slinging globules of fire on a chain. A tassel is inadvertently loosened and we briefly gaze upon her fully unsheathed bosom. Yes, there is a God, and he practices plastic surgery.

At the moment, however, Pyra's pasties are secure as she kicks up her heels during part of a feather-dance duet with Lady Fontayne. The choreography is as impeccable as Pyra's ivory-white glutes, and equally marvelous to behold. The crowd twice erupts into cheers.

There are other bits featuring the four women in various combos. In one, Lady Fontayne dons a shimmering gold mini-dress for a Dreamgirls-like number. Russian princess Naughty Niki-ta manipulates a series of steel hoops with her tiny body, and Peek-a-Boo Pixie prances en pointe while juggling several sheer kerchiefs. The show ends Vegas-style, with the gals in glittery feathers, kicking high with such force that I'm nearly coldcocked by a flying foot as I try to snap a few pics.

Afterwards, the burnished bartop becomes a makeshift catwalk for gals from Xtreme Fashion Entertainment. The theme is Alice in Wonderland, and I swear one of the chicks is on the edge of diving headfirst into a field of liquor bottles. Lawsuit city, baby. Not this night, but could be in the future. If they're not careful, one of these models might end up owning the joint. My fave of the femmes is the White Rabbit played by Priscilla Molina, a precious pecan-skinned lass of 21. (Hard to be ugly at that age.) Also in attendance as Queen of Hearts is my pal Lauren, who I haven't seen in many moons. She weilds a large, silvery axe, and looks like she knows how to use it.

The show's at an end, but there are still slender young beauties about, their bodies being painted by graf artist Sikste (pronounced "sixty"). Nice job if you can get it. What Sikste does, I mean. I saunter back to the bar, order one more starry night and watch what's left of the crowd. They say they do this every Wed. night. If so, I reckon I'll be back.

Chill out people, it's just water. Um, at least it looked like water...

I hate to say I told you so. Actually, who am I kiddin'? I LOVE telling you I told you so. On May 31, The Bird squawked about an insane new law Governor Janet "Manet" Napolitano signed last month that would make Interlock devices mandatory for all first-time DUIs.This draconian measure, which has yet to be enacted, would force those popped at .08 BAC to pay for installation and monthly maintance of these brethalyzer thingees. For a whole friggin' year, drivers would be required to blow into them to start their vehicles and keep blowing into them periodically as they drive. Previously, AZ only required the devices for repeat offenders and those convicted of extreme DUI.

Taking a cue from MADD, which has a campaign underway to have such first-time DUI-Interlock laws passed in every state, Democratic Rep. David Schapira introduced the measure as an amendment to another law. This crock of hooey passed, and our pander-bear governor signed it. Doesn't matter that a whole household would potentially be affected by this fucked up legislation, or that there are plenty of studies out there showing that these IIDs (Ignition Interlock Devices) ain't all they're cracked up to be.

Thankfully, Republican Rep. John Kavanagh was on the case, and began to research these various studies. Convinced that the Legislature had acted precipitously, he introduced an amendment to an omnibus DUI bill making its way through both houses, effectively repealing the new law, which was to go into effect 90 days after the Legislature adjourns. What's this, common sense prevailing over knee-jerk extremism? Can our legislative process sustain this sudden eruption of, er, sober judgement? Kavanagh certainly deserves kudos for the effort.

"A lot of us were concerned about this sort of a policy change so quickly without real information," Kavanagh told me yesterday. "But we went along because no one wants to be soft on drunk driving."

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Goddard standing tall: If he ever investigates Candy and/or Sheriff Joe, I may go gay for him!

In a startling development that's the AZ state government equivalent of standing up to the schoolyard bully, Attorney General Terry Goddard has told Sheriff Joe to go eff himself, informing asshole Arpaio that "his office will turn over all criminal cases involving the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office to other prosecution agencies to avoid an ethical conflict," according to a press release issued by his office yesterday.

The move comes in response to an April news conference by our publicity-mad buffoon of a lawman wherein he announced that he and Maricopa County Attorney Andy "Candy" Thomas were investigating Goddard, putatively to find out if a $1.9 million payment from former State Treasurer David Petersen influenced the fact that Petersen was allowed to plead guilty to a misdemeanor corruption charge by the AG instead of being indicted on more serious counts.

It's a bullshit case. The $1.9 million Petersen reimbursement was required by state law, and Goddard's stated that tougher charges couldn't be proved against Petersen. But Thomas, who's the Sheriff's butt-buddy and has partnered with him on a series of anti-corruption cases, let Joe jump the gun on an announcement of an investigation. Why? Likely because there's nothing to it. Thomas isn't dumb enough to bring an indictment against the state's Attorney General, but he's not going to leave aside a stab at smearing Goddard. Both men want to be Governor in 2010, and you could say that race began as soon as Janet "Manet" Napolitano whipped Len Munsil's fanny last November.

Late April, the Bird reported on the hypocrisy of Thomas and Arpaio investigating anyone in public office, much less the AG, as part of their MACE (Maricopa County Anti-Corruption Enforcement) task force. See, if MACE were legit, the first two public figures it would be forced to investigate would be -- you guessed it -- Candy and Sheriff Joke.

Arpaio and Thomas probably figured Goddard would pussy out and take this one on the chin, knowing that the MCSO's "investigation" wouldn't amount to much. But they figured wrong, and now because of Arpaio's grandstanding, a number of serious corruption cases, like that of former schools supe Sandra Dowling, have been upended and will be transferred to other agencies.

In a letter hand delivered to Nickel Bag Joe that's also posted on the AG's Web site, Goddard gives Arpaio a perfumed ice pick to the kidneys. You can almost see the sly smile on Goddard's face as you read it:

I want to emphasize that my decision in this matter is not negotiable or intended in any way to influence investigative decisions. The timing and scope of the Petersen investigation is entirely within the discretion of the MCSO. When that inquiry is finished, I hope our offices can work together once again.

In your face, Joe! What the AG should do now is open up his own "investigation" of alleged corruption in the offices of Candy and Joe. There's plenty there to rummage around in if the AG wanted, even if he never makes an indictment. Christ, if Goddard ever did something like that bold, I think I might have to go gay for the guy.

Don't tell me Pooh's a troofer too! Nah, he's too smart for that. (Believe it or not, this tin-foil hat's for sale at eCrater.com.)

Should 9/11 troofer and tin-foil hatter Matt Lepacek have been booted from a post-debate Spin Room at the Republican debate Tuesday, June 5 in Goffstown, N.H.? Should the fruitcake have been arrested afterwards for trespassing? No on both counts, bubbee.

As you can see from the video posted online at ScrewLooseChange, Lepacek, who was toiling for moonhowler extraordinaire Alex Jones' Infowars.com, was tres obnoxious and asked his questions like he'd skipped his meds that morning. He harangued Giuliani's spokesman, pollster Ed Goeas, and when the guy asked for his documentation, Lepacek continued the harangue, demanding that the gray-haired staffer sit with him for 10 minutes while they watched a video together. (What, with cookies and milk, too?) Not long after, the cops showed up and showed Lepacek to the door. Lepacek protested that he had been allowed in the event by CNN, and planned to return. When he tried this, they slapped the cuffs on him, and drove him down to ye ol' graybar hotel, where he was booked and later released.

As I've been thrown out of many a press conference in my time, usually while writing for the New Times, I can't agree with a member of the new media, as fringe as this guy is, being ejected after he'd already been issued a pass by CNN (as appears to have been the case). According to what I've read on SLC and elsewhere, it seems CNN objected to him being arrested. But this happened anyway.

Just because the guy asked Giuliani's aide a question he was unfamiliar with, and persisted in doing so beyond the bounds of what would normally be considered prudent, he's given the heave-ho? Sorry, but by any standard, that's unacceptable and un-American. I know I didn't like it when the troofers did it to me in Chandler, during their phony "press conference" this past February at the 9/11 Accountability Conference. So I can't endorse such actions when done to others, even if I think anyone representing Alex Jones' wacked-out media enterprise is by definition delusional.

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Christ, Joe, put your tongue back in your mouth...

If you have to think about your answer to the question above, you haven't been in Maricopa County for very long. Still even if you're a newbie, watching dirty ol' Joe salivating before cameras over the Paris Hilton controversy taking place over 300 miles west of his jurisdiction should convince you Sheriff Joke's so full of shit that he practically has excrement oozing out of his ears. First he makes a dumb-ass "offer" to LA County Sheriff Lee Baca to house Hilton in Tent City, which is promptly, predictably turned down. Then when this in-and-out b.s. with Hilton being released to house arrest, then shoved back in jail takes place, our squirrely Sheriff can't help himself from shooting his fat mouth off about something he has no say over.

"I think it's disgusting," he's quoted in a butt-kiss article in the Arizona Repugnant online, referring to the putative reason for Paris' release. "I've got 10,000 people in the tents. They've all got medical conditions."

The piece continues, stating that, "If Hilton had served her sentence in Tent City, she would have stayed in the steamy tents with the rest of the inmates."

What a pant-load! Sheriff Joe arranges sweetheart accommodations for any VIPs in his custody. When Arpaio had convicted drunk driver and country music legend Glen Campbell in his clutches back in 2004, the Rhinestone Cowboy didn't stay in the Tents, he got the gold star treatment at a small jail known as the "Mesa Hilton," where all such notables are put up.

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Sly Sy, raggin' on Neocons, editors, and the Iraq War.

Nothing's more boring than a conference room full of "serious" journalists. Unless Seymour Hersh is in it. The legendary investigative reporter, who nabbed a Pulitzer back in 1970 for exposing the My Lai massacre in Vietnam and who's still breaking big stories in the pages of The New Yorker, spoke with a packed hall of journos at the 2007 Investigative Reporters and Editors Conference at the Biltmore Hotel in Phoenix this morning. And though I know a blog post about Seymour Butts would probably nab more hits, the other Seymour was still pretty cool, and was a lot funnier than I thought he'd be.

Looking and sounding younger than his 70 years, Hersh responded to questions from the crowd off-the-cuff, saying some cutting things about the state of journalism today, the Bush administration, Iran, Neocon influence in DC, and so on. His best line? Describing editors as, "Mice trained to be rats." Cracks like this made up for the $3 cup coffee the Biltmore was hawking in the lobby. ($3? Don't they know that most journos are broke?)

I hate transcribing. Instead of taking typing in HS, I opted for band. As a result, I can neither type nor play the trombone, despite my best efforts on both. But here are some highlights from Hersh's remarks. My tape seems to have eaten one question from a young lady who asked Hersh about having to weather intimidation or abuse. Hersh's reply put things in perspective. He told her that for those of us in the U.S., all we have to do is our jobs. In places like Egypt, Colombia, Russia, etc., they have to worry about having a gun shoved in their faces, which is a whole different level of risk.

On saving journalism:

I think we're going to have to be more receptive to changing...Maybe we should talk more about employee ownership.They're talking literally about that at The Wall Street Journal. This isn't some big socialist movement I'm talking about.

On editors:

My general thesis about editors, with the exception of some, is that they're all mice trained to be rats. Doesn't mean there aren't good editors.

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"So Phil's hiding where?" Maupin presents Goober's chief of staff Deb Gullett with paperwork to help hizzoner switch parties...

With a handful of supporters waving signs that read "Phil Gordon: Republican wolf in Democratic clothing," and "Mayor Gordon is a Democrat in Name Only," candidate Jarret Maupin stormed the Mayor's office this afternoon at Phoenix City Hall, demanding that Goober Gordon re-register as a Republican or an Independent after an LA Times story last week in which Goober's support for Republican John McCain for President was reiterated. Maupin, et al. chanted, "Hey-hey, ho-ho, crooked Phil has got to go," on the way to and up the elevator. Once the People's Champ arrived on the 11th floor, the young mayoral contender leveled a withering attack on incumbent Phony Phil:

"We cannot afford to have our top Democratic leadership sell us out -- the grassroots voices and faces of our party," Maupin explained to reporters as Gordon's mayoral staff looked on quizzically. "We must stake a claim for our party, and that is what we are doing. This is the first of many formal actions to have Mayor Gordon removed from the party.

"I'm here today simply with a voter registration form to offer [Gordon] the chance to leave the party peacefully, and register with the party of his choice. After the endorsement of Sheriff Joe, Andrew Thomas, Jim Weiers, and other known adversaries of Democrats, we feel that it's unacceptable that he continue to use our party and the resources of our party for his own political gain. This isn't about being governor. It's about being mayor of Phoenix."

Continued Maupin, "The endorsement of John McCain was the last straw. He is no longer welcome in the Democratic Party, and we intend to run him right out."

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