AAN Gets the Anna Nicole Spoof, but Inside Edition's Royal Dumbasses Still Don't
Check this Friday, March 16 post from The Association of Alternative Newsweeklies (AAN) concerning the Anna Nicole spoof and the somewhat preachy piece from the TV show that birthed Bill O'Reilly, Inside Edition:
Phoenix New Times' Anna Nicole Story is -- Gasp! -- a Hoax
After a week of internet chatter and blogospheric speculation about the alt-weekly's story on the deceased starlet's "secret Native American love child," Inside Edition finally gets the paper to admit it was false. Reporter Steven Lemons, who wrote the story under the nom de plume Charles Tatum, admits to the TV tabloid that "absolutely none" of the story was true. "Our aim was to sort of make fun of all the Anna Nicole Smith coverage, you know, just the mania over that," an unnamed New Times editor tells Inside Edition.
The "unnamed New Times editor" is Rick Barrs, editor of the paper, who's featured along with yours truly in the Inside Edition clip, which you can see online still on New Times' home page. Seems someone at Inside Edition can also write, as they posted a run-down of the show's Ides of March edition, which reads in part:
But there were things about the story that just didn't seem right to INSIDE EDITION. The so-called birth certificate looks nothing like an official California document, and Anna Nicole's address was wrong.
So INSIDE EDITION confronted the Phoenix New Times reporter with the facts. The reporter said, "I'm not an expert in documents, by any means. They looked legitimate enough to us."
INSIDE EDITION also learned the resort where the so-called affair took place was closed for renovations at the time they were supposed to have been there.
But the clincher was the by-line, Charles Tatum. It's the name of a shady newspaper reporter played by Kirk Douglas in the classic movie, "Ace in the Hole."
When asked if anything was true in the story, the reporter said, "absolutely none of it" was.
Not even the by-line is real. His name is really Stephen Lemons. Anna Nicole's so called native American lover Johnny Soto, and the little boy featured in the story, are both actually relatives of people who work on the newspaper.
Incredibly, the newspaper's editor admitted the story was totally false. "Our aim was to sort of make fun of all the Anna Nicole Smith coverage, you know, just the mania over that," he said.
I like this quote, "INSIDE EDITION also learned the resort where the so-called affair took place was closed for renovations at the time they were supposed to have been there. " What they don't tell you is how they found out: I told Jim Moret when he came by to interview me as Charlie Tatum.
This summary of the televised segment is odd in that it's almost like they want to take credit for revealing some sinister plot. Thing is, if I hadn't owned up to the fact that this was an April Fools-type spoof, Jim Moret would've been sweating his ass off all the way down to Sells, capital of the Tohono O'odham nation. That was his next stop, he told me, if Charlie Tatum'd stuck to his story.
Jim Moret seems like an OK guy, so I suspect his producers insisted on the heavy-handed b.s. with legal anal-yst Royal Oakes. I mean, what kind of dork names their fucking kid "Royal"? No, really. And he's wagging his digit at us. Puhhhhhhlease!
It's amazing these doofi don't get the joke. All but Moret, I guess, if I give him the benefit of the doubt. The irony, of course, is that the joke was literally on them -- the tabloid media, and their ravenous obsession with Anna Nicole. But apparently the goons at Inside Edition are irony deficient.