Darrell Ankarlo Spares the Rod
Listening to Ankar-low Brow this morning on KTAR 92.3 FM talking about how 'rents shouldn't spare the rod when it comes to their wayward youngins lest those youngins grow up to be assholes, I'm reminded of a little piece I read about Low Brow's son Adam. Seems Adam pulled a harmless bit o' nekkid tomfoolery at his Tennessee high school back in 2000, which is best recounted by the Nashville Scene, one of the Phoenix New Times' many sister papers. The text below comes from their Boner Awards 2000:
Smells like teen shrinkage
Taking his cue from a Blink-182 video, Adam Ankarlo, 18, son of former WWTN-FM talk-show host Darrell Ankarlo, ran into a Franklin High School pep rally in February and suddenly stripped naked, streaking through the crowded gymnasium. Police caught up with Ankarlo outside, where he was cooling his heels—and everything else—in 40-degree weather.
Considering Ankarlo pere's views on corporal punishment and the like, one might think that Dillweed Darrell would've moved to have his son face the maximum punishment for such Animal House -like shenanigans. But according to a March 30, 2000 article in The Tennessean, part of Adam's court-appointed punishment was cutting down trees on his own lawyer's property, an arrangement which raised eyebrows with the judge in the case at the time, who called it "a pretty light deal."
Adam has gone on to serve his country honorably as a Marine Lance Corporal in Iraq, and so apparently was not warped somehow by his less-than-severe suspended sentence. I think you see where I'm going with this. Not that I care about some kid streaking at pep rally. Crikey, I don't even think the law should've been involved in something so petty. But if a similar prank happened at a P-town high school, it could've meant time in Tent City, boyo, with all the lawlessness, gang violence, and inhumane conditions that one expects from Sheriff Arpaio's gulags.
Ankarlo, as you'll remember from a previous blog post, had the Sheriff on his show recently and kissed his fanny so much I'll bet Arpaio's buttcheeks still boast hickey marks. Ankar-low Brow told listeners then:
"I gotta tell ya, I'm not smokin'. I dig this guy. and I see all the lines jammed and you guys are all wanting to cry. I'm not going to debate this. There's right, there's wrong. You break the rule, you go to jail."
You break the rule, you go to jail. Funny how that philosophy only applies to someone else's kid, eh?
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