Six Imam Fire Sale

Keep your effin' religion to yourself, no matter what it is...

Ever since US Airways kicked six Muslim religious leaders off a flight bound for Phoenix, I've had a lot of fun watching various wing-nuts chastise the imams for praying a little too loudly and obviously to Allah. Rib-ticklin' stuff, since these same wing-nuts are usually all for enforced prayer in public schools, enshrining the Ten Commandments in public buildings, and generally shoving their religiosity down the throats of the rest of us whether we like it or not.

Espressopundit's Greg Patterson, a former Republican member of the AZ House, has recently been kvetching a lot along these lines, posting excerpts from a recent Washington Times story critical of the imams, as well as quoting some Hugh Hewitt kiss-ass as if the dude were an expert on airport security. The Washington Slimes, of course, is a Moonie-owned rag, founded by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon himself -- you know, the cult-leader who holds mass weddings and believes himself to be "humanity's Savior, Messiah, Returning Lord and True Parent." So, sorry, I don't find the Slimes very reliable, even if once in a blue Moon (get it?) they're right and not just right-wing.

On the other hand, the Hewitt sycophant is a real laugh riot. Take this paragraph from the Patterson post, which I assume Patterson agrees with, since he sticks it up there without rebutting it:

It is inconceivable that the Imams were unaware that their prayer ritual would scare the stuffing out of their fellow-passengers. Since we know that Islamophobia is actually a fear and a not particularly irrational one especially when boarding an airliner, the Imams were at best insensitive.

If Hewitt, Patterson, and this doofus are all Islamaphobic, then allow me to broaden the category for myself to a more inclusive "religiophobic"! If the imams are to be held responsible for terrorist acts committed in the name of Allah, then surely we should hold Patterson, et al. responsible for all the terrorist acts committed by Judeo-Christakooks, and the like. Ain't it scary that Patterson lists The Bible as first in the "Books That Have Influenced Me Most," a tome he says was written by "God." Uh, first off, dummkopf, if there is a God, he, she or it didn't write The Bible. No, a bunch of different storytellers over a period of thousands of years penned that best seller. Divinely inspired? That's debatable. But to assert that "God" sat down with pen and paper and authored The Bible as we know it now is right up there with believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Jack Frost, the Tooth Fairy, and the Great Pumpkin.

Now that Patterson's own religious wackiness has been established, let's apply the same Hugh Hewitt-esque logic on him as used on the case of the six imams. There are a lot of Christian wackos out there, from the vestiges of the old KKK and bombers of abortion clinics, to gay-haters and such, so if some airline catches Patterson switching his seat on a plane after praying in a Sky Harbor terminal prior to takeoff, then we can all agree that Patterson should be handcuffed, surrounded by guard dogs, and maybe even cavity-searched -- er, as long as he doesn't enjoy it. I mean, you never know about Republicans these days. That party's just downright kinky.

I myself will be flying Agnostic Airlines, so I won't have to worry about being cavity searched. Haven't heard of Agnostic Airlines? It's a new venture for folks who want to get from one place to another without having any of those annoying Christians, Hindus, Muslims, or Sikhs mucking about. No praying allowed. In fact, I'd like to extend that no-praying, no-religious wackery rule to within 100 feet of my person. I mean, I don't really give a poot if you've found Jesus or whatever. Just keep it to yourself, boyo, and we'll get along just fine.

Greg Patterson in all his studliness, awaiting cavity-search...
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